HAHAHAHAHA Stupid Freeper! DUers, help me pen a reply...

[CanuckAmok]

A few months ago I received some hate mail as a result of posting a gag Ebay auction for an AWOL Bush action figure.

This stupid freeper kept going on and on about the usual "Liberal cowards should be rounded up and sent to gitmo with the other traitors" nonsense. Of course, Mr. Bush Supporter wasn't emailing me from the front lines in Iraq, since he didn't enlist in Mr Juntaman's Oil Crusade...but anyway.

So this same LOSER accidentally emailed me today with this lovelorn message to some girl who snubbed him. Read and enjoy:

its me ,
i dont know if youre mad at me or what i did wrong ,im sorry if i did you wrong
i feel like you dont have an interest in me or i bore you ,i dont blame ya if i do ,
i was hoping you would come and get me tonight i really wanted to see you and go out tonight
i went to the store and got you a little present it was going to be a surprise but you never showed up or answerd youre phone , i got you a boquet of flowers because you told me no guy has ever bought you flowers before and i was hoping i could give them to you tonight .
if you dont want me to bug you any more please let me know ..

richie


HAHAHAHAHA! Where do I begin? Any suggestions?

edit=far more inviting headline

[Whitacre D_WI]

1. Tell him that "you" fell in love with a liberal,

and don't have any stomach for his reactionary shit anymore -- and that women don't like hate-filled, treasonous men like him; so if he ever wants to get laid again by anything other than inflatable Sheila (who you just know is under his bed in a box), he'd best straighten up and fly right.



Oh, and tell him that "you" have found out the reason conservative men are as they are: liberals have much bigger penises.

[boilerbabe]

19. your'e too funny!! now i've gotta get rid of that 2 inch FRED...dang

[PDittie]

2. Dear FRed:

I simply cannot tolerate your right-wing bloviation any longer.

I don't know if the macho posturing ("liberals should be rounded up and sent to gitmo") is simply a psychological phenomenon of a man who is woefully insecure about his exceptionally small penis, and I don't want to know.

I want to be with someone who is bright, secure in himself, loving, giving, sensitive to my feelings and who plans to vote against George W. Bush and encourage others to do so as well.

So buy yourself a car so you don't have to depend on me or anyone else to 'come get you', and send the flowers to your mother.

And yes, don't bug me any more.

[bowens43]

3. How about

I'm sorry that you feel ignored. But I really don't have the time for a relationship right now. You see, I'm a volunteer for the Dean campaign and there's a lot of work to do before November. We're going to take our country back.

[fknobbit]

4. Dear Richey

I didn't know you were so enamored with Me. I'm sorry I don't go out with men too stupid to use a spelling/grammar checker. Get a car, Find another insipid freeper and get on with your tedious life.

[Alice Franken]

5. Reply email:

Before I respond, please give me your last name.

So many Richies, you know; I try to be kind to all of you, but I just don't remember which one you are.

Are you the one I met at the Kucinich rally last week?

[Bertha Venation]

6. Leave it alone.

It's cruel to take advantage of this.

[Bertha Venation]

7. another reason to leave it alone

All these reponses suggesting an "I've turned liberal" reply are potentially dangerous to the person "richie" actually wrote this to.

[Flaxbee]

22. Yes, I agree

don't take advantage of this, no need to be cruel. He might be an unkind person, but that doesn't mean you have to be, and a little kindness from a liberal might go more toward helping "our" causes than satisfying any vindictive feelings you might have....

If you want to send it back, just send it with a small note "I don't think you meant to send this to me" and nothing more... that way he knows, he knows you know, and you don't rub it in. And he can send it to the poor unfortunate woman who is his object of desire...

[gator_in_Ontario]

8. Dang...

I had a great idea till Bertha Venation brought me back down to earth with her wise posts...
I was GONNA say.. :evilgrin:
to e-mail him back as "her" and tell him it really turned you on to see men dressed in womens clothes...have him dress accordingly, and meet him somewhere...then pants him and run off with his outer garments.

Juvenile I know...but I just woke up...

[NightTrain]

23. Actually, your idea *was* funny!

But I still think it's best if he doesn't goad that guy.

[cade]

9. dear Richie

i've been meaning to talk to you, the times we had togetther were special ( in a cute puppy love kind of way ). While it is nice to have someone to love, I just don't know if you are the one. I think of you more like a younger brother.
I have a surprise for you as well.
See a doctor.

[bfusco]

10. great ideas

Let him know that his political obsession and anger is a mask for real issues of apparent sexual inadequacy. Others have gotten angry at me for bringing up the Bush/AWOL and I quickly shoot them up by telling them to do a Google search with the words "Bush AWOL". Not much you can say when over a 100 pages of articles pop up.

[Robbien]

11. Hope you like roses

Why would someone you do not know what anything from you?
Why would someone you know?

Next time, check before you click send.

From a non supporter,
Is there any possibility there is a supporter of your's out there? Guess not, otherwise this would not have been sent to me.

Signed, A definate non-supporter

----end of suggested email----

yeah, sometimes I may not be nice.

[Nomad559]

12. E-mail

Hey CanuckAmok, do you have her real e-mail address that he was sending to?

If so check your PM, I've sent you a useful link. :evilgrin:
---------------------------------------------------------------------

[bratcatinok]

13. A reply I'd use would be:

Richie,

I am returning your email to you as I believe you sent it to me in error. You and I have had previous correspondence when I had the Ebay auction for the AWOL Bush action figure but I don't think you intended this email for me.

I'm so sorry you are having relationship problems but I could see it coming based upon our correspondence. May I suggest some classes in anger management and self-esteem? I think it would do you a world of good.

Sincerely,

......

[Skittles]

14. Be compassionate

you now have a prime opportunity to show the difference between freepers and people who truly care. I suggest you use it.

[Bertha Venation]

15. Skittles, what kind of lame advice is

made you look. ;)

You rock, m'darlin'.

[Nlighten1]

16. Sometimes...

compassion isn't needed.

[neebob]

17. I wouldn't reply

He's obviously obsessive, and you don't want him fixating on you.

[Bronco69]

18. Dear Richie,

I don't even know where to start or how to let you know how utterly repulsive you and your kind are, but I'll give it my best shot:

"i dont know if youre mad at me or what i did wrong ,im sorry if i did you wrong"

It's not so much what you did, but more importantly what you are! Your incessant whining about the state of our country, yet your unwavering support for the person who caused it makes my skin crawl!

"i feel like you dont have an interest in me or i bore you ,i dont blame ya if i do"

Not only do I not have an interest in you, I would rather have toothpicks shoved under my fingernails than to have to listen to one more of your pro bush* propaganda tirades. Bore me? Hell yes!! I've watched paint dry with more enthusiasm than I have when I'm with you.

"i was hoping you would come and get me tonight i really wanted to see you and go out tonight"

Why the hell should I come and get you? I thought the conservative mantra was to be independent! The bush* economy is so great, why not go and buy yourself some transportation and pick me up for a change? Heck, the very least you could have done is get a bicycle and let me ride on the handlebars. You should have grabbed one of those high paying tech jobs before they were shipped overseas.


"i went to the store and got you a little present it was going to be a surprise but you never showed up or answerd youre phone , i got you a boquet of flowers because you told me no guy has ever bought you flowers before and i was hoping i could give them to you tonight ."

WTF? I work my ass off practically 24/7 in a shithole job just to be able to have that transportation upon which you so obviously depend, and the best you can do is buy me flowers? How about chipping in for gas money from time to time bucko? That $5 you spent for a bunch of wilted daisies would have gotten me to work and back a few more times.

Screw you Richie!! And tell those goddamned freeptards that you so proudly hang around with that if I ever hear from any of them I'm going to stick my foot so far up their asses it'll look like they're sitting on my lap!!

All my love! :-)

[camero]

20. Just email him back some pics

Of various liberals. Down at the bottom just say,"I got yer lil love note." And leave it at that.

[NightTrain]

21. Just let it go

However ignorant and obnoxious that guy may be, he's still a human being with feelings. He undoubtedly feels rotten enough over that girl snubbing him. There's no reason (or excuse!) for you to add insult to injury by sending him a nasty reply.

What you might consider doing is simply advising the guy, in the most neutral and displomatic terms possible, that he sent that e-mail to you by mistake. That way, he'll know that the girl never received it, and it might even make him think twice about his negative feelings toward liberals. (Probably not, but it wouldn't hurt to try!)

[HEyHEY]

26. And ad

"Hope everything works out"

[CanuckAmok]

24. Kick for the Late Shift...

And for the record, I won't be mean. I'm undecided as to whether or not I'll let him know he emailed the wrong person. I can be nice, but I still feel I don't owe Mister Freeper Asshole any favours.

[HEyHEY]

25. You sure he wasn't apologizing to you?

Seriously, tell him you don't like him because of his political views.