How Do You Get Rid Of Telephone Solicitors? Got any good ones to share?

[Intelsucks]

When they ask for me, I say, "He just left... And he said he was NEVER coming back!":D

[jimbo fett]

1. Ask them to "hold for a minute", put the phone down on the table then

just leave it there for about 10 minutes. Check on it and chances are they hung up.

[the_boxer_]

30. LMAO............

[underpants]

33. Actually that is very good approach

they need to make X amount of calls and the time they waste while you are ignoring them actually costs them.

[Skittles]

2. don't answer the phone

that works for me

[dodgerartful]

3. whats a phone?

[Piperay]

22. It's that "thing"

that always rings at the worst time, like when you are sleeping, eating or watching TV. :argh:

[Dogmudgeon]

4. Religion

The weirder, the better. The more energetic, the better. The more manic, the better.

I got real good at talking $cientology; I don't suggest using standard-issue Born-Again Christianity because a large number of them are "washed in the blood of the lamb." Gnosticism can be twisted to a suitably evil purpose, as can Sub-Genius ranting, and some of the nastier Catholic cults (Opus Dei, Our Lady of the Roses, etc.)

Thirty seconds of "Clam-speak" was all that any solicitor has ever been able to take.

A-R-C,

--bkl

[TNDemo]

5. I told my son he could say anything he wanted when they called.

One time they called pitching dancing lessons and he started sobbing and asked them how they could be so cruel, that they knew he was in a wheelchair. Another time they called offering long distance service and he said he didn't have a phone. They asked him if he was sure he didn't have a phone. He told them, yes, he was Amish.

[DuctapeFatwa]

13. LOL I might steal that one! You should be very proud of your son

He sounds like a young man who is going places!

[Fridays Child]

16. Amish, LOL!

Too funny!

[the_boxer_]

32. That's hilarious...

How old is your son? That's very clever stuff. I'm going to use them.

[DuctapeFatwa]

6. Sure. Try this one

RIIING

Solicitor begins talking

You (interrupting, polite tone): Excuse me, sir, we are no longer offering our complimentary courtesy call acceptance service. Did you want to go ahead and upgrade to our premium service? For the next 30 days, we have a very special offer, unlimited acceptance for only $399.99 for 45 days, all our responders are fully trained, they will listen to the entire presentation, take the contact information, and we guarantee that if the offer interests them, they will re-contact and make a purchase. Will this be Visa or MasterCard?


They usually hang up way before you get through.

[Intelsucks]

7. I like it.

n/t

[Bridget Burke]

8. I say "No thanks" & hang up

Using a friendly voice & not slamming down the phone. Quick & easy.

If somebody's rude or too insistent, I'm quite capable of verbal slicing & dicing. However, most of them are poor schmucks trying to support themselves; there's no point in being cute.

Or let voicemail take the call.

[forgethell]

9. As soon as they say,

"I'm Janeece, how are you today?", I say, "thank you, I don't want any," and hang up. No fuss, no argument, no time wasted.

You're welcome.

[HawkerHurricane]

10. I used to let my son take it

when he was 2...
"Hewo?"
"Daddy sait yu wanna tawk me."
"Bu Daddy sayed it!"
"No... Daddy sayed it!"
"'k."
"Yesh."
"No, Daddy sayed you wanna tawk me."

This can go for quite a while...

[Pobeka]

11. We don't take solicitations

Please remove us from your list.

Most often, I think they do. It costs money to pay someone to make cold calls, and it behooves them to listen when you speak those words. They really want to make calls to someone who they might have a chance at selling something to. (Dang those hanging participles!)

I did have one jack-ass try to tell me he wasn't a solicitor, and then started soliciting. He got the instant hangup. Gosh, I hope I didn't offend him.

[bobthedrummer]

12. Move to Wisconsin, we've got the first no-call law

and it works.

[LuCifer]

14. Use an AIRHORN!

I had this one peckerhead who kept calling, really annoying since I'm NOT a morning person and I value SLEEP...so one day I started to keep an air horn by the phone. Well sure enough, this buttlick called -- the "UNAVAILIBLE" on the call ID is a dead giveaway -- and as soon as I picked up I blasted the airhorn right into the phone. Guess what? I haven't had ONE solisitor call since!!!!!! Try it. At the very least, the asshole will get a nice surprise!!!

Lu

[Randi_Listener]

15. "I've got mail!"

"I've got mail. Yay!!"

[scottcsmith]

17. This was really mean of me

Usually I just say "I'm not interested, thank you" and I just hang up.

One day the local newspaper was calling with some sort of subscription offer. As they had called many times in the past I was getting tired of the calls. So I let the guy do his sell and I said, "I'd love to subscribe, but I'm functionally illiterate."

Newspaper guy: "You're what?"
Me: "Functionally illiterate. I can't read or write, so I really wouldn't be able to take advantage of my subscription."
A beat: "Well, you could always use the coupons."

I said no thanks and hung up.

[Robb]

27. LOL!

"Well, you could always use the coupons."

:D Gotta give the guy credit for thinking on his feet, though!!

[OneBlueSky]

18. get on the "do not call" list . . .

we've had one here in New York for several years now, and it's worked wonders . . . reduced by telemarketing calls to virtually nil . . . if one does manage to get through, I simply say "I'm sorry, I don't accept these kinds of calls," and hang up . . .

[AlFrankenFan]

19. Do Not Call List?

:shrug:

[Booberdawg]

20. I either don't answer the phone or hang up on them

As soon as i know i am being solicited I just say no thanks and hang up. Now I'm getting smarter and saying take me off your list before I hang up.

I don't care. I'm sick of it. For years - day in and day out. Solicitors. Get the fuck out of my hair!

For the most part, I just don't answer the phone anymore. I have caller ID, so I know if my sisters or if someone local is calling, so I let it ring without answering it.

[grasswire]

21. unlisted phone

I never get any sales calls.

[Bundbuster]

23. The one line they're not trained to handle -

You can say it loud, or really softly, but just say...

"I'm insane."

I guarantee, there is no comeback, click.

[Piperay]

24. Answering machine...

I don't know why everybody doesn't have them and use them all the time, if they did phone solicitors would become extinct thus making life better for all of us. :argh: I NEVER answer my phone unless it is someone that I WANT to talk to. :-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

25. here here

My answering machine screens every call that comes in. Amazing how many calls come in that hang up immediately upon getting the machine. Damn solicitors.

[ldf]

37. this is my answering maching

you have reached xxx-xxx-xxxx. this number does not accept solicitations, nor does it participate in surveys. at the tone, please your message.

works wonders. i NEVER answer the phone until i recognize the voice. if it is a legit call, like a doctor or dentist office, they will leave a message.

[hobbes159]

26. Anti-Telemarketing Script

http://www.junkbusters.com/script.html

Works pretty good.

[Norbert]

28. I have Caller ID just for this purpose.

If the number is unfamiliar to me I don't answer.

I have been known to answer the phone and when they badly mispronounce my last name I tell them they have the wrong number and no one by that name lives here. How am I to know they want to talk to me? :shrug:

One other thing:

I heard once that telemarketers start their spiel the second time you say hello. I just say hello once and if I get no response in about 5 seconds I hang up.

[the_boxer_]

29. LOL...I'm going to use that one...

[underpants]

31. I do a homogenous uni-sex ageless voice and mention "boobies"

I had a guy selling subscriptions to the New York Times actually tell me that yes indeed there were "boobies" in the Sunday edition he said I should look in the "style" or "lifestyle" section.

I had one poor girl going for about 45 mintues one time and when I fessed up to what I was doing I could hear ~10 people laughing in the background. Apparently the whole phone bank was listening in.

[MaineDem]

34. Do Not Call List

It's worked wonders. We've had one in Maine for a while and now I'm on the national one, as well.

I simply tell the callers I'm on the list and to mke sure they never call me again.

Our calls have dropped off big time.

[cap]

35. "I'm unemployed" works wonders

you get a lot of sympathy... and they don't call back.

[name not needed]

36. i use

a mixture of broken english and chinese. very loud and fast. quite effective. next thing they hear is 'shicken frie rie seven dolla!':)