What would a Bush mission to Mars look like?

[Lisa]

The first attempt would be cancelled -- the ship would be stranded in space 2 days out from Earth, because the Halliburton-made engines would guzzle far more fuel than expected. (The astronauts would be rescued by a Shuttle mission mounted by their exasperated colleagues, after the administration instead decides to opt for a grand televised memorial to "the sacrifice of our brave Americans in space".)

The second attempt would get about halfway there -- this time, the problem being that the weaponry that Donald Rumsfeld insisted they take to ward off hostile Martians, and the load of Bibles stowed aboard by John Ashcroft, and the gigantic "Landing Accomplished!" banner, add so much weight that again the ship runs out of fuel.


your turn now ...

[Comadreja]

1. Don't forget all the corporate logos

The space craft& space suits would be so covered in corporate decals the mission would resemble an Indy 500 race car.

[imax2268]

10. like this...?

[7th_Sephiroth]

2. first through third attempt explodes

because the whold thing was made by halliburton paying them 1 trillion per ship

the fourth would make it off the ground and into space, but then have thier fuel sabotaged by halliburton because they lost thier contract to build space craft, and they would keep sabotageing missions, those who know about it or find out about it "commit suicide by shooting themselves 3 times in the head from a distance of 12 feet".

[Ilsa]

3. Bibles to Mars! that is hysterical!

All of you are so funny. Best laugh I've had all day.

SNL should be so funny!

[CanuckAmok]

4. The rocket would just sit on the pad...

...while the Bush Administration waited for the Holy Hand of God to lift it skyward.

[Comadreja]

7. Rapture Rockets? Faith-Based Propulsion Systems? eom

eom

[Spirochete]

5. The Chimp

landing on Mars in a jump suit. With a big banner in the background: "Mission to Mars Accomplished! Vote for me."

[GURUving]

6. A bunch of hillbillys

who've never been out of the "holler". I just know Babs would open a window to get some fresh air, and then whoosh, there goes the cabin pressure and most of her clothes. Needless to say, no rescue mission would be attempted.

[Aristus]

8. A B*sh mission to Mars?

Well, I think he would get awfully lonely up there. And imagine his panic when he realizes there will be no follow-up mission to bring him back!

"Guys?.......uh, guys?....c'mon, joke's over........this ain't fun n'more.......c'mon, guys..........guys?"

:evilgrin:

[Norbert]

9. If bu$h has his hands all over the the spaceflight to Mars...

I imagine it looks something like this.



Would Moe look at the dim son and say numbskull with more conviction than ever?

[Solly Mack]

11. Martians would immigrate in droves....

or invade America and demand to know why we allowed our village idiot so far away from home