My Republican dad said I'm a selfish dropout because I'm Buddhist

[dawn]

Some background first. I was raised as a Catholic but dropped out of the church at age 15. I actually knew the church wasn't for me when I was about 10. I think the thing that did it was the shame that I was made to feel as a female as well as being told that people who are good but are members of other religions would go to Hell. Anyway, my parents forced me to stay until I was confirmed. I honored their wish and stopped going the week after my Confirmation.

OK, fast forward 15 years. My parents still won't stop chastising me for my beliefs. See, I've always been a spiritual person. So I experimented with other paths...I was Wiccan for a few years then just became agnostic. But spirituality has always been a part of me. I'm always trying to search for what makes sense.

About seven years ago I started reading books about Buddhism, and for reasons I can't explain, it just made sense to me. I consider myself to be Buddhist to this day, even though I don't really like labels. I just find that it is the path that calms my mind, puts a smile on my face, and frankly, just makes sense. But I never, ever, try to make others believe the way I do. I didn't expect this to be an easy path to follow, but I didn't expect to hear what I did from my dad today.

Anyway, my dad is also a rabid Republican. I found a silly article about why Buddhists aren't Republican, even though some of their views can be considered traditionally conservative. (?) The writer of the article mentioned that many people in the West who are outside the mainstream of society (academics, writers, artists, poets, gays, lesbians) are attracted to Buddhism, and that those groups are the ones that Republicans point to as being the "problem" people of society. So that's why most Western Buddhists aren't Republican. I don't entirely agree with the premise but I sent it anyway.

Thinking back, I shouldn't have sent it to him. However, he doesn't know much about my life so I thought it would help him understand me.

Anyway, my dad fired me off a rude email that basically said I'm a dropout and selfish because I am not Christian. He said that because I chose an alternate path, I went within myself rather than reaching out to help others. And that everything I need can be found in Jesus Christ, and that he thinks I am doomed to hell and need salvation. And so on.

OK, maybe I am just PMSing here, but his smug email made me very upset. Of course, I just wrote back that I respected his belief, but I wish he could respect mine, but I think I am now convinced that many Christians really don't respect people who choose a faith other than theirs. Why? Do they feel insecure in their beliefs, to the point where another's beliefs threaten theirs? I totally respect the beliefs of others. I do believe in Jesus, as someone who achieved enlightenment and was trying to save others.

Of course, my husband, who is Christian, is at church right now so I can't talk to him. And no matter how respectful he is of my beliefs, I always have the sinking suspicion that deep down inside, he wishes I would convert to Christianity, too. He's never said that, of course, but people like my father make me feel that way.

So, what do any Christians or Catholics out there think of this? Would you ever say this to your daughter (or anyone else you love), and if you did, what is the reasoning behind it? Is it born of good intentions, or is it said to shame others into your beliefs? I'm not trying to offend anyone here, but trying to wonder why someone would say such a thing.

And I wish I hadn't sent him that silly article!

(edited for spelling)

[Kamika]

1. I wouldn't

Since he's your father I'll save the insults, but he seriously need to rethink how he wants his relationship with his daughter to be

[Name removed]

31. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Cha]

2. Tell him with all due respect ...

that he is a Selfish drop in because he is republican!

[H2O Man]

3. If you were a Buddhist,

you would know the answer. Those who know it won't give you the "answer," and those who give you the answer to your question don't know it. But is you were to follow either path, you'd come to the exact same spot. (And it's not the republican party!)

[femmecahors]

4. Your parents will never understand you . . .

The Catholic Church is no place for a woman. (I know from experience.) By adopting another religion, other than the one of your parents, they feel you have rejected them. (I know from experience.) There is no way you can get your parents to see your side of the story. (I know from experience.) Just live YOUR life and don't look to the outside for any justification. You only have to be right with yourself . . . you aren't on earth to make your parents happy.

If being a CHRISTIAN gave you solace, you'd be one. It's better to drop-out of society than to conform against the wishes of your soul.

[randr]

5. Your Dad is only suffering

from an acute case of Republicanism. First symptoms are to call people names and make accusatory remarks whenever confronted with anything they do not understand. I am afraid the only cure is a huge dose of empathy mixed with love. Do not defend yourself against any accusations, it will only inflame him.
Good Luck!

[silverlib]

6. Not all Christians feel that way...

There are many of us that recognize our Bible was written by man and that Jesus Christ is our path, but not necessarily the only path.

There is some little spoken history being thought through (I wish I had a link) that shows a man came to study with Buddhists during the "missing" years of Christ. Written documentation of this has been found. Could it be that it was Jesus? Could that be that the correlation between the beliefs come from this?

Many Christians believe (of course not the right-ringers and the denominations that feel that only their denomination will win a place in heaven) that Jesus is only one of many paths. The world was very large at one time, and thus we may have had many spiritual leaders to set the paths. Most of the people who speak this are great Biblical theologians and their beliefs are based on their knowledge.

I'm happy that you have found your path and I believe it is as real as any path.

[dweller]

16. Nicolas Notovitch

The Unknown Life of Christ
The Life of Saint Issa
http://reluctant-messenger.com/issa.htm

and this page
Tibetan Gospel
http://www.essene.com/Issa.htm

may provide some info for you all.


peace,
dp

[hlthe2b]

7. Well, first of all, it is my understanding ....

that Buddhism is a path and that, at least in the West, many who practice Buddhists are also confirmed devotees to their own religion at the same time. The Dalai Lama wrote a book not long ago discussing the common path among Christians and Buddhists. Perhaps picking up that book might help you discuss with your father. I think you are going to have to carefully pick your time to try to educate your Dad. It sounds like he knows very little about Buddhism, but any opportunity to educate him and reduce his qualms was lost by the article that he found so offensive and his concerns about your leaving the Catholic Church. Bide your time, and in the meantime perhaps you can read up on the commonalities that you can relay to your Dad. This should reassure him, if you are able to do so on his timetable.

BTW, I go to a Sunday evening series of Buddhist guided meditations. It's a very relaxing couple of hours and I can assure you, that most in the room are Christians or Jews. Even the Buddhist nun who leads most of these sessions, remains Christian, while having spent years dedicated to Buddhism and training in England. She was joking about the stresses of family and Christmas, which given her orange robes and shaved head, did seem paradoxical. But, I really don't think it is.

[dawn]

17. I saw that book in Borders the other day.

I should go and read it. And I have read that other Western Buddhists don't toally give up their old beliefs when they follow the path. But I thought I couldn't do that, because even though I still believe in Jesus, I haven't stepped into a church in 15 years.

I don't know if my Dad is ready to read that book, but maybe someday I can try to share some of it with him. It's just hard because I am trying always to avoid arguments with him.

[hlthe2b]

22. I can't help but observe...

that your issues with Christianity seem really not to be with Christianity (or Catholicism) but the Catholic organization, its hierarchy and the policies of that hierarchy. As one who was raised Protestant but came steps from conversion when I was engaged to a practicing Catholic, I found much that I could not agree with either. However, I do strongly believe that the Vatican has largely lost control over the way in which Americans practice Catholocism and that a sizeable proportion of American Catholics pick and choose what they feel comfortable with and ignore the rest. While misogyny rules currently in official vatican policy, this can and will have to change. Clearly not with this Pope, but in the future. Otherwise, they will lose more and more of their progressive membership.

Ultimately, I don't think "Christian" religions can continue to reinterpret and misinterpret the word of Christ and get away with it. People may stay in the church, but will believe what they know to be true-- and act, accordingly. Strict adherence to Vatican law, was only really possible when the people were uneducated and open to such indoctrinating "instruction."

[dawn]

34. Yes..you pretty much hit the nail on the head there.

I don't have many issues with Christianity, but with the hierarchy of the church, their belief that other paths are wrong, and the misogyny. Then again, it's been 15 years, so my memory is a bit rusty. I also visited a few Protestant churches and I still felt that a few of them made me feel shame for being a woman. (i.e. wives must submit to husbands, etc.) Now, I think those were very strict churches, so I am sure they don't speak for all churches.

So yes, I still believe in Christ but I do also believe in the teachings of the Buddha.

What's difficult for me also sometimes is that, in my studies, I have read that Buddhist leadership (like Thich Nhat Nanh) prefers Westerners to return to their own religious tradition. I don't know if that really addresses the people who have long left their old churches, and happened upon Buddhism (or Wicca, or any alternate belief system). I don't think I could go back to my tradition even if I tried. I don't really have one!

[Torrey Pines]

8. I think that at some level they should be able to understand -

"I just find that it is the path that calms my mind, puts a smile on my face, and frankly, just makes sense." What are/aren't they getting from their sprirituality?

It sounds to me like you've found something very special for yourself. ;-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. Wow

First, Catholics are Christians, no matter what Pat Robertson might say. :-)

Let me answer as someone who has been in the church a long time and has made a living from the church, though on the liberal end, not the Robertson end.

The root of Christianity is that Jesus was God, came to earth to suffer, die, and be raised from the dead, to grant us all salvation and eternal life.

That's pretty dramatic.

Most Christians believe in "salvation through faith" - that it isn't earned, it comes to those who believe. It's not about "works", it's just about belief. (a sidetrip here: oddly, the real conservatives are also of the "by faith" mode, but they have an insanely excessive hangup about making sure that everyone is living properly (that would be the "works" part) so they don't go to hell, so it's often difficult to tell what they really believe, but that's another matter).

So - for a lot of Christians therefore, there's a sense that only Christians can get eternal life, because only Christians believe.

So I can understand why those people want others - especially family - to embrace Christianity; your father, most likely, is quite worried that he'll spend eternity in heaven with whole family, whom he loves, except you, who will be burning in hell. So yes, it's good intentions.

However, *I* don't believe that non-believers go to hell, or don't get eternal life. I believe Jesus died for ALL people. So, while I believe your father has good intentions (though he could be more compassionate and loving in how he expresses it), I think he's wrong.



Also - you will find, and I think is more prevalent amongst fundamentalists - that there is in this also a sense of fear of maybe being wrong, and some insecurity in their own beliefs, but an insecurity which they fear to embrace. For me, I embrace my insecurity and my doubt. But some can't handle it, so they also lash out and want to force everyone to be like them (whether this be political fundies, Christian fundies, muslim fundies, socialist fundies, etc.) so that they don't have to see, and thus be reminded of, viewpoints different than their own.

And there is also - as we see in the US in some of the forms of Christianity - a real deep seated belief that ONLY Christians lead moral lives, and that everyone else must, therefore, be leading sinful, harmful, damaging lives. That's way too voer the top for me. I've knwon a great many highly moral, ethically strong people of Jewish, Buddhist, athiest, etc. belief. The people who have this belief system are the ones trying to load up our school boards and white house with "proper Christians". (these are also the people who can watch Shrub do evil things and not care, because "at least he's a good Christian, unlike democrats" because to be democrat is automatically NOT to be Christian, which kind of broad-sided divisioning I don't remember Jesus, or even Paul, ever talking about)

As far as I'm concerned, follow the path that feels right, feel free to change it as you change, and live a life of cmopassion and love, and don't worry if someone else is on a different path, becuase God makes us all different. I think that's about all Jesus was trying to say to us.

(though that said, i think we can also clearly still point out behaviors and belief systems which are harmful, such as the brand of fundamentalist Islam that says it's okay to blow up children or world trade centers; or the brand of Christian fundamentalism that says it's okay to murder abortion doctors; etc.)

[hlthe2b]

23. Nicely said... I agree that "fear of the unknown," whether religious,

cultural, or language-driven drives many to become very dogmatic in protecting their own beliefs.


I also feel compelled to point out that while I disagree with current Catholic policy and the belief (also common to many other Christian faiths) that "only Christians are saved," that there is much good that comes from Catholicism, even given its need for reform. While the poster mentions the attitude of the Knights of Columbus, as expressed by her father, the fact is is that Catholic Charities DO do tremendous amount of good in this country and worldwide. I am not Catholic, but have worked with lots of international aid groups and I've gained respect for this. Now, one can argue that these efforts are not enough and that the Catholic Church hoardes wealth. I would tend to agree, but that does not negate the good that is done. Hopefully change will come from progressives who remain within the Catholic (and other Protestant) Christian Churches. But, I think they have something worth working with.

[Rabrrrrrr]

29. Yes about the Catholic Church, and it's good of you to remind us

I tend to focus mostly on criticizing the Catholic Church, but ina lot of places, they are the only ones bringing safety and life to oppressed peoples. While I disagree with their stance on sexuality, especially in third-world nations where it would be WAY more helpful if the women could have some choice over their bodies, truth is, the Catholic Church has been a major force for change and liberation for a lot of people.

perhaps the problem is that it (the Catholic Church) works better in very poor, low-industrialized areas? Just a thought I had right now, anmd I've put no thought into it, but maybe.

And we have the Pope's, and therefore the Church's, condemnation of war and the death penalty, and it's constant prodding to do more for the poor and disenfranchised. Sometimes they speaking only to governments, and not offering any help of their own (though onyl sometimes), but at least they're saying it.

I have a real love/hate relationship with the Catholic Church. Maybe it's becuase they do so much that is genuinely good and prophetic and living Christ's words, that their failures seem that much more frustrating and obnoxious.

[Hell Hath No Fury]

10. Those wacky "christians"...

(And I mean the ones who would call their daughter a dropout and selfish for chosing a different path.)

I was raised Catholic and moved on to Buddhism as an adult. My Caholic Mom has never voiced any complaints about it, though she doesn't always understand it. And I have many Catholic and Christian friends who are enlightened enough to see that my choice of spiritual paths isn't somesort of moral downfall.

In the Buddhist tradition, I would view your father with compassion -- it's very sad that a man's heart would be so tight and closed off to say that to a daughter.

[dawn]

14. I agree....compassion.

I do view him with compassion. And I can't expect him or others to view me in the same way. It's just hard sometimes.

[Lars39]

11. Parents react in many different ways when a child they raised in the faith

turn to another faith, or even totally lose faith. The parent can feel rejected and take it out on the child. While you were just not going to church, he may have felt hope that you would return. Revealing that you had definitely turned to another religion is your reality, but one that he may have difficulty accepting. And I must say that he responded as a fundamentalist would.

Here's a helpful forum that could help you deal with the situation:

http://www.aimoo.com/walkaway

I usually post this in response to the "Any religious nuts in your family or life?" threads that crop up on occasion.

It's a support forum for those that have left fundamentalist christianity. Walk Away has helped a lot of people deal with their fundamentalist upbringing, or their brush with fundamentalist christianity, and helps deal with fundamentalist christian relatives, and the screwy situations that confronts the non-believer. I highly recommend the site.

[SharonAnn]

12. Hmm, sounds so much like my Dad I have to smile.

I tell him that he's the one who is selfish, greedy, and power-hungry. I also tell him that he's not in charge of anyone but himself so he can go talk to himself.

Seriously, I too left the Catholic Church (several times) because I think it's a toxic environment for women.

One of the interesting discussions I had with my Dad (when he was Grand Knight of the Knights of Columbus) about a woman's right to choose. He and his cronies, of course, were avidly anti-choice and were demonstrating everywhere they could and sending money to anti-choice groups.

He kept telling me they were trying to prevent "killing". So I asked him what they were doing about the death penalty and wars. He said "that stuff" wasn't any of their business.

Then I asked him why the Knights weren't doing things that actually help these women who don't think they can keep their children. He said there's nothing they can do. I told him they could:
-provide food or money for food to poor mothers
-provide day care so that poor mothers can work or go to school
-provide assistance with education expenses so that poor mothers
could get the education for a better job to support their children
-provide money for health care for the children of poor mothers
-provide substance abuse treatment for poor mothers
- etc.

He said that wasn't their job. I told him he was selfish, greedy, and power-hungry. Didn't seem to be much point in going around that circle more.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

18. I thought that was the church's job...

To take care of people. They have all the mission outreach to the poor in other countries, but when it comes to taking care of people here at home, its "none of their business?" What completely astonishes me is your father's logic, Sharon. He says that the death penalty and war is none of his business, but what a woman does with her own body is? Where in the hell did that come from? I keep trying to type something else, but every time I get stuck, and stare off into space for three or four seconds, completely speechless, just astonished. God, when will these people learn that that is not God, that is not Christ? That it is just man being arrogant and self-righteous? Makes sense now why the leading cause of atheism today is Christians. I can sympathize. My mother th inks women who work instead of taking care of their children full time are evil, even though she worked 11 hours a day from the time I was 2. When I called her on it the other day when she was bitching about working mothers, she got so mad. It was so great. Throwing their inconsistencies and their hypocrisies back into their faces is the best thing we can do for them, I think. Thank goodness I didn't convert to Catholicism like I almost did.
Duckie

[YellowRubberDuckie]

19. Sorry, duplicate post

Duckie

[1monster]

13. It will NEVER end... unless you both make it end

My parents fought the wars of the Reformation all over again starting when I was eleven years old. My father was Catholic, my mother converted to please him when I was four years old and then reconsidered and embraced evangelical fundamentalism. The scars that their ridiculous and horrible battles left on me are still here today thirty seven years later. (Their religious war went on for at least ten years after I left home at eighteen. I believe that they made some kind of treaty and now live in semi-armed neutrality.)

And my mother still sends me her religious garbage, pages and pages of letters, etc. trying to SAVE MY SOUL thirty years after I left their home in disgust and move 1,000 miles away. I've been back to visit four times in the last thirty years and only once in the last fifteen. They have an eleven-year-old grandson that they have never met, and, if I have my way, they probably never will meet.

My method of dealing with them is to ignore the religious and political garbage, treat them kindly when they call, but to otherwise have as little to do with them as possible.

I don't flaunt my more wholistic spiritual views in their faces and by dint of "not hearing" what they say about their religious views manage to get by.

It took years for me to make some kind of peace in my own heart with the religious badgering. I hope you and your father can somehow come
to appreciate each other and allow the "religion thing" to fade out ouf you relationship. Everyone has to find his/her own way and everyone's road to God, spirituallity, karma, fate, or what-have-you is different. No body can walk your road for you.

Show this to your father and ask yourself and him if either of you want to risk losing each other over which side of the egg is up.

[djeseru]

15. Actually...

...I know what you're trying to get across - I have a selfish, Republican, materialistic mother who does the same thing to me. If I don't think or act the way she thinks I OUGHT to be, she tells me I'm doing this just to spite her, or that I'm the one who is ignorant.

I think she's terribly insecure, I won't say that to her face, but then I also think she's insecure about her intellegence as well. It's just easier for her to NOT study, read, learn about, etc. And I think it really bothers her that I have moved beyond all that.

I have a lot of anger towards my mother, for other personal reasons not related to this issue, but my hopes and beliefs go headlong against hers. And she keeps telling me how wrong I am. I've had to learn to take what she says as meaningless. It has no bearing on what I believe is right for ME. She doesn't live my life, raise my child, pay my bills, buy my food, or support me in any manner. I'll admit, though, it did take me a couple of years to come to that point where I realized that her beliefs constitute very little in the way of living my life, and to just separate that from what I feel is right for me.

My calmness was learned from Buddhism, with a little dabbling of Jesus on the side as well - just because you've turned to one faith doesnt mean you've abandoned the other. You felt that there was more to gain from another than from just the one. You know best what is right for you, and it feels isolating at times. I can understand isolation! I think you're doing fine, although I can understand that your father's reply did 'shake' you up a bit - it would anyone. And not what you did or said was wrong either, at least, I don't think it was! Maybe you have the decency and respect enough, where others still have not learned that yet.

[Selwynn]

20. Maybe he'll come around? My parents did....

My parents really had a hard time understanding my very non-traditional an progressive journey through (and often against) the old dogmas of Christian faith...

...but today they understand my path and believe in me and support me 100%, even though their own spiritual experience/journey is articulated a little differently.

In the early days, we had some big fights though. So maybe one day, they'll come around for you? I'll be hoping so! :)

[Nikia]

21. It depends on how people feel about religion

Some people feel that the main purpose of religion is a sense of community with your family and others like you. In the past in most places, people were born into a religion and practiced that faith and so did almost everyone else in their community. People who feel that this is the main purpose of religion would feel like you are rejecting their community and family if you convert to another religion.
Some people feel that the main purpose of religion is spirituality. It is about the individual feeling at peace with themselves and/or the Divine. Some people may feel that a particuliar relgion is better than another, especially for themselves but that choice of religion is a personal decision and it is best that a person practices the religion that they are most comfortable with, not necessarily the religion of their family or town.
Both Buddhism and Christianity, originally at least, are more spiritually focused relgions. Christianity, especcially Catholicism, has come to be more of a community religion, but was founded on leaving one's family for Christ. Becoming a Christian was suppose to be a personal spiritual decision and the believer, not the infant, was suppose to be baptized to show their conversion. I do not know as much about Buddhism, but I understand that is more of a spiritual relgion too in which the person makes their own choices.
Your father regards community as more important than spirituality. Be respectful. Tell him that you are part still part of his family and not rejecting that, but that you were not having your spiritual needs met through Catholicism. If that is the only way to salvation, you probably wouldn't have been saved anyway, since you would have been insincere about it, going through the motions.
I don't mean to criticize Catholicism. I know some rather spiritual Catholics, including some who converted to Catholicism, not because they were marrying a Catholic, but by a soul searching choice.
You have chosen to prioritize spirituality and have chosen Buddhism to develop your spirituality. Be confident that you made the right choice. If you convert again, it should be for purely spirtual reasons, not because anyone put pressure on you.

[rbnyc]

24. My dad is an x-catholic buddhist.

I wish he had a computer. He'd be a great person to talk to about this.

Anyway, if you want your dad to understand more about your life and your beliefs, instead of sending him articles, write him letters. But be patient, and be prepared to have your heart broken. Some people are just stuck in their ways.

[NightTrain]

25. Terrific. Being called "selfish" by a Republican.

That's like being called "ugly" by a Tasmanian pus toad!

[Pobeka]

26. It is a deep seated fear of death.

I think a lot of people are terribly afraid of death, and then they quickly turn to a religion which says "just do these things, and you'll never die".

But still, very deep inside, there lingers a little doubt in their minds -- "What if this religion I believe in is, well, wrong?". This in turn can lead to a form of denial, and I think this expresses itself in unfortunates ways, like the way your father relates to you. I think, in some sense, he feels as if he accepts your choice of religion, it casts a little doubt on his own.

That being said, there are many christians I have known who don't have this problem. It is a matter of spiritual self-esteem. You have achieved it. Your father hasn't. I think you should try to find a way to relate to him. If you succeed, you'll both be the better for it. If you fail, then at least you'll won't regret not having tried.

Good luck!

[Deja Q]

27. As a free spirit, I say he's using spin and hate to make you feel bad.

So I ask, who here is the selfish one? It's not me. It's not you. It's not any of the DUers here. It's not your husband. While he might want you to convert, he's certainly respecting your beliefs. He's probably a great guy.

That leaves one person. He wants you to be just like him in his beliefs or else he's going to be a total snot. Isn't THAT the epitome of selfishness?

[neebob]

28. Massive dad issues here

Mine, I mean. I’m reading between the lines and wondering if this is bigger than religion. My dad couldn’t stand it when I disagreed with him, which was pretty much always. He was so overbearing, I think it saved me some pain in that I never really wanted his approval so I didn’t waste a lot of energy seeking it. Which is not to say he didn’t cause me a great deal of pain. But now that I’m a parent, I realize it’s his fault we never had a real relationship.

My mother and I disagree on this point. She continually defends him and insists I was partly responsible. Lately I’ve been dealing with the realization it was she, not my dad, who raised me to automatically assume I’m bad and wrong and at fault, by constantly telling me I shouldn’t feel this way or that way. She’s in 25 different kinds of denial about my dad. Suffice it to say I regret having shared my feelings with her. Between Dad and politics—which to my mother encompasses religion and morals and just about everything in daily life—it's difficult to have a pleasant conversation.

Not long ago, in the course of trying to convince me my dad was a good parent in ways I don’t recognize (and there are some I do), she shared that my dad wrote her a letter saying he was frustrated at his inability to relate to the kids. This was during one of their trips to the brink of divorce that she claims not to remember now. My reaction? Besides surprise that he felt he couldn’t relate to my brother and was aware of his inability to relate to me, so what. I never saw him try. He was too busy trying to make me toe his line.

It’s probably a good thing he died before I read Under the Banner of Heaven and realized he dragged us all into a cult, because I have a big ol’ problem with that. I realized long ago that he wasn’t as smart as he thought, but this takes it to a whole new level.

What I’m saying is maybe you shouldn’t try to get your dad to acknowledge the validity of your choices. Maybe he respects them on some level. And if he doesn't, it's his problem.

[populistmom]

30. Book recommendation

Jesus and Buddha: The Parallel Sayings

It's very insightful as it also looks at Christianity from a new perspective as opposed to how many mainstream Christian religions choose to view Christ. (Might be good for your dad to read to if he were willing.)

:hug: Although I don't have circumstances like these, I know what it's like to have unsupportive parents. Even as an adult, it's pretty hard. I'm sorry for that.

[mdmc]

32. I went back to church

after reading the art of happiness. You gotta serve somebody! (dylan)

[CandyCrim21]

33. *sigh*

honey, your dad needs to get a clue. I know its easier said than done but try not to let him get to you. Of course people are insecure in their faith, in this day and age who wouldn't be. I was raised Baptist but honestly I have absolutely no idea whats out there. I believe that there is something. I just don't know what? Your right though, these people do look down on others who are outside their religion. I remember being 8 years old getting on the bus to go to sunday school and feeling like everyone at that damn church hated me because I didn't go EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY. and after my mom and dad divorced! LOL, shit forget it man we were like the out casts of all humanity! FUck that. No body should ever make you, or even try to make you feel bad for your beliefs. They are YOUR beliefs, honestly I don't think anyone has got it completely right yet, but to each his own. Hey maybe your dad was just PMSing. Dont worry about it girly, sounds like you've got the right idea in following your heart.

[geniph]

35. Everyone has to find their own path

and it sounds to me as if you've found the one that works for you. No one can be forced into a belief that they don't hold by being browbeaten and called names. Therefore, I would simply say this to your father: Judge not, lest ye be judged.

And don't forward any more religious articles! It's not showing respect for his faith (however misguided you may think it) to do so, any more than his calling you names is showing you respect for yours. You may not have meant it to be insulting, but clearly he took it that way.

[Breezy du Nord]

36. I can relate

I recently decided to stop being a Catholic, and I dropped out right before Confirmation. I just finally sucked it up and told my mom.

I'm not really sure I'm meant to have spirituality, but I'm glad that at least you've found something. I hope that your dad will be able to accept you and you beliefs. Because I think saying that Jesus Christ is the only way to Heaven is severely flawed. But that's just me.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

37. Isn't one of the principles of Buddhism

detachment from worldly concerns?

Your argument with your dad will not continue if you don't let it get to you. If he realizes that he can't push your buttons, he'll give it up.

I'm a liberal Christian, but I believe that God is ultimately unknowable and too large for us to understand, so I see all religions as attempts to understand the incomprehensible. We have to find the path that suits us best.

In Japan, I have seen Shinto and Buddhist sites that have indefinable air of the sacred about them, just as I have at certain Christian sites. When I lived in Japan, I offered a New Year's prayer at the Shinto shrine with the family I was staying with and had no problems doing so.