Final Iraqi WMD count vindicates White House

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

With thanks to Aristus for the brainstorming and to Tom Tomorrow for, well, deciding to use the term "imaginary".

Final Iraqi WMD count vindicates White House

WASHINGTON (CNN) - "It is common scientific knowledge that http://whatis.techtarget.com/definition/0,,sid9_gci283974,00.html">imaginary numbers are no less real than real numbers. Therefore, the threat to our safety was very much real," said Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld about the final reports.

Besides the 19i nuclear warheads, there were 25i chemical factories, capable of producing 300i grams of Anthrax monthly. With the 63i ICBMs at their disposal, Saddam Hussein's regime had the capability of killing 12,000,000i people in 15i hours, anywhere in the globe. So far, Iraqi terrorism has claimed 1,675i American lives in the USA.

Democratic nomination candidate Howard Dean angrily rebuffed the report, claiming there is "no proof whatsoever" America is safer. "They may have found the imaginary weapons, but where are the real ones?" Another Democratic candidate, Joe Liberman, when informed on Dean's remarks, retorted, "He thinks we're not safer by removing imaginary WMDs. The fact is that Governor Dean fails to grasp how complex the terrorist threat is."

The President's popularity has raised 8i percent as a result of the findings, according to a Gallup poll.

[Faygo Kid]

1. Very funny, but too close to the truth.

And we will have an imaginary honest election in 2004.

[Aristus]

2. Thanks for the acknowledgement, JCCyC.

It shouldn't come as any surprise to anyone with a brain that Shrub's polling numbers have been imaginary for some time now.

Well done. :thumbsup: Thanks for letting me be a part of it.

[aquart]

3. The budget was also done in i numbers.

Don't forget.

[ProfessorGAC]

4. Alas, You're Wrong

There's nothing imaginary about the negative numbers in the budget.

The economic projections on which they based their spending plans, however, are clearly imaginary.
The Professor

[omshanti]

10. The negative numbers were the unforseen by-product

of squaring the imaginary numbers.

If only they had thought about this before multiplying the deficit.

[ProfessorGAC]

12. Good One!

The Professor

[omshanti]

13. Thanks

:-)

[dfong63]

5. unf the war was paid for with real billions of dollars and real lives

[Rattlesnake]

6. "It is common scientific knowledge...

that imaginary numbers are no less real than real numbers."

What the fuck is Rummy smoking? There has to be undisputed proof that there are REAL weapons before we can run into a country and overthrow the dictator and proclaim them as a threat to the saftey of the American people.

And it doesn't suprise me that Lieberman said that about Dean.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

7. ...

Uh... er... words fail me.

[wtmusic]

8. Lieberman is relying on imaginary support

to win the nomination. Heck, it's no less 'real' than 'real' support! :silly:

[omshanti]

9. oh! That's the funniest thing I've read today!

Thanks for making my day!
(wiping tear from eye)...


(On edit: mind if I email it to a few friends? I'll include the link)

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

11. Of course you can! Fame and fortune! Woo hoo! ;-P (nt)