Public advised not to put salmon in their armpits

[Wonk]

A spokesman from the Department of Health Scares has advised the public to think twice before clenching salmon under their armpits as it may make them ill. The spokesman indicated that the problem is mainly to do with farmed salmon but hinted that salmon living in the city may also be an issue.

The salmon industry immediately hit back at the claims. The President of the Salmon Producer's Guild, Douglas Ramsbottom, paraded his young daughter in front of the media with a salmon firmly wedged under each arm.

more...
http://www.deadbrain.co.uk/news/article_2004_01_12_0242.php
:silly:

[proud patriot]

1. ROFLMAO

whew boy did I need a laugh .

[WealthAndDemocracy]

2. What? Sounds like an Alf commercial ...

[CO Liberal]

3. I Prefer Mennen Speed Stick Myself......

:-)

[Rattlesnake]

4. Oh darn...

and I just used salmon as a rag to bathe myself. :cry:

[put out]

6. You must have a huge bathtub.

Or maybe a river. I would never take a salmon into the shower with me.

My burning question: did the salmon like it?

I only hope you respect each other in the morning.

[Rattlesnake]

7. Nope...used salmon fillets.

:)

[lowflyer10]

5. Smells fishy to me :-)

[Don_G]

8. I Have A Cure For That

[oxymoron]

9. That's exactly why I switched to halibut in my pants. (nt)

[Don_G]

14. Just Don't Ask About The Scratching Post

:shrug:

[WealthAndDemocracy]

10. This is right up there with duct tape and plastic wrap

to protect us from terorrism

[put out]

11. I will also not take duct tape and plastic wrap into the shower.

Unless it is to subdue the salmon.

[WealthAndDemocracy]

13. that all depends

on whether the salmon is a, how you say legal combatant or a POW.

[Don_G]

17. Better "Ash-On-A-Rope"

Hilleriech & Bradsby can fashion a baseball bat to accomodate any occassion.

[Paul Hood]

12. Armpit warning.

Never put anything larger than your hand in your armpit.

[TrogL]

15. I've been trying to explain to someone what DU is all about

You're not helping. He's convinced we're all insane.

[Wonk]

16. If the Flintstones have taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used

to mix cement ;-)

According to this highly scientific test I'm 94.2307692% sane, fwiw (ymmv).

[moof]

18. OK, so if you go to bed with a spawning salmon

does that make the phrase

" Sleeps with the fishes "

preverted, redundant, ironic or only half right

since it's the salmon that dies from coming to/in bed with you ?

What happens if it's more than two females in a roe ?

If it gets really hot & heavy does the salmon end up smoked ?

[moof]

19. Attempted revival

n/t

[Spirochete]

20. Damn!

There goes MY Saturday night....