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Edited on Tue Jan-13-04 11:27 AM by corporatewhore
One of my friends emailed me this great joke
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual
later discovered to be a public school teacher was
arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of
a protractor, a T-square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General John
Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the
notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged by
the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,", Ashcroft said. "They
desire average solutions by means and extremes, and
sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute
value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y"
and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have
determined they belong to a common denominator of
the axis of medieval with coordinates in every
country.As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say,
there are 3 sides to every triangle,"Ashcroft declared.
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said,
"If God
had wanted us to have better weapons of math
instruction, He would have given us more fingers and
toes. "I am gratified that our government has given
us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from
these math-dogs who are willing to dis-integrate us
with calculus disregard.
Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every
sphere of influence," the President said, adding:
"Under the circumferences, we must differentiate
their root, make our point, and draw the line."
President Bush warned, "These weapons of math
instruction have the potential to decimal everything
in their math on a scalene never before seen unless
we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin
to factor-in random facts of vertex.
"Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great
Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one
principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue
to multiply, their days are numbered as the
hypotenuse tightens around their necks.
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