It's been ten f***ing years. I'm so disgusted with myself!

[NightTrain]

Ten years ago tonight, gang. That was the last time I had sex with an actual partner.

I can't fucking believe it's been that long! Where the hell does the time go?!

I really need to do something about my situation....

[Padraig18]

1. Oh my GOD!

One word: hooker/hustler.

:evilgrin:

[Gato Moteado]

38. that's two words

[cryofan]

48. you're assuming night train is male, i assume

sex is overrated, anyway.

Just an animal. A way that your DNA makes you its puppet.

[Catfish]

2. Not sure if this can help

but I just read about this yesterday, a dating site for liberals:

http://personals.actforlove.org/

Can't hurt, right?

[liberalhistorian]

6. Hey, hey, hey!

Sending MY man to a personals site??? HUH-UH! If we ever get around to meeting in person like he says we will, I just might, MIGHT I say, be able to take care of that!

[Catfish]

7. OOPS!

I think you two should get together soon!

[liberalhistorian]

35. Yes, we're trying to arrange

it, talking about meeting halfway between our respective homes (he's in CT, I'm in OH). He's promised to be an absolute gentleman, too! (Okay, enough snickering)!

[Bill McBlueState]

66. hey, I make that drive all the time

You can get from CT to OH (eastern Ohio, anyway) in 9 hours.

I could make a point of my geeky knowledge of the interstate highway system now, but I won't unless prodded.

[NightTrain]

43. You needn't worry, my dear!

As the Flamingos so eloquently put it back in 1959, "I only have eyes for you."

[liberalhistorian]

58. LOL!

Same here, Dean!

[RUexperienced]

3. Just keep the palms of your hands shaved

so nobody notices.

[KG]

4. jeez, i've had some dry spells

but whoa!

[brainshrub]

5. Don't worry about it.

Don't be disgusted with yourself. I haven't eaten truffles in 10 years...and I'm just fine. You don't need to compare your sexual performance with others.

If God had wanted everyone to have regular sex, he wouldn't have invented masturbation.

[NightTrain]

10. I only remembered at all because of that "ten questions" thread.

But no, SOteric, I don't hold it against you, so don't worry, OK? :pals:

[populistmom]

8. Wow!

That's a long time. I hope something happens soon for you. In many ways though, there's something worthy of respect of someone who does wait for the right person again instead of going around randomly using people. I'm sure when the right women comes along, you'll do just fine. Kind of like riding a bicycle.

edited because I forgot to use spell check

[benburch]

9. Is it because you haven't really tried?

Some people go through asexual cycles in their lives. And that is very much OK!

As for finding a partner; I had really good luck advertising on the internet. I found a number of sex partners and finally my wife that way. PM me if you want any pointers on how to write an effective internet personals ad.

-Ben

[NightTrain]

14. At the risk of sounding elitist...

...the simple fact is, 99.75% of all the people I meet--whatever their gender--simply don't interest me.

I've had some opportunities with women over the last several years, but I was either still hurting over my last relationship (that took me quite a while to get over!), or I was too damned oblivious to realize I was being "scoped," or the woman in question simply didn't interest me.

Hope that answers your question! :)

[benburch]

25. Then you *do* need to advertise!

The more rare the person is who turns you on the more likely it is that you won't find that person among your acquaintances.

[WhoCountsTheVotes]

70. "99.75% of all the people I meet simply don't interest me"

In all seriousness, I'd suggest a therapist. The problem is not with the 99% of people you meet, the problem is you.

[KCDem]

11. actually, it's been 10 "not" fucking years.

*ducks for cover*

[NightTrain]

16. Actually, that made me laugh out loud!

:thumbsup:

[liberalnurse]

29. And repukes think we are nymphs.......

This is definitely contrary to their pre-conceived notions.

[Killarney]

12. A couple friends of mine

had luck using a website that matches you up with people. One of them is marrying the guy she met. I think it's called match.com. Try it!

Maybe there is a liberal match-making website out there, too!
:toast:

[Deja Q]

13. Been 3+ years for me.

I could care less.

So many diseases, many uncureable, some leave embarrassing marks, some are fatal, some are a combo of all of these.

So few people who want a relationship or monogamy.

I no longer care.

[NightTrain]

17. You are very much correct about this....

<<So few people who want a relationship or monogamy.>>

At least, if my experience has been any indication.

[Deja Q]

39. And it's sad...

I blame modern society, Reagan, and the "me-me-me" generation that puts individuals and the pursuit of greed above community and partnership.

Of course, the gay community's always been a different story... Not that I can blame them, society's dislike of us is more than enough to induce indolence toward the rules of the heteros... And you'd think AIDS of all things would get gay guys to pair up, that's what I thought. Oops, I was naive. And the last I read, AIDS cases amongst gay men have risen. Add the extra benefit of viral strains that have adapted to the medicines developed... sigh.

[dweller]

15. Y O U A R E M Y H E R O . . . .

i don't think i could make it that long without whacking it off by then...wait, i think i mean HACKING it off...um..CHOPPING it off. That's it. Chopping.

:freak:
dp

[TEXASYANKEE]

18. You're not alone.

It's been over 10 years for me. Although I'm not complaining (too much). Toys work very well, and you don't have to cook them dinner afterwards. ;-)

[slackmaster]

19. Crap, I'm coming up on 9 months and it seems like way too long

I hope you recover soon.

[Catfish]

20. Some might disagree

But bad sex is worse than no sex. When you're in a relationship and dread going to bed, no sex looks pretty good. Being picky is not a bad trait.

[NightTrain]

45. I agree!

My last girlfriend was lousy in bed.

She came right out and told me that when she first became sexually active, she discovered a couple of positions that worked for her and never felt the need to experiment. It didn't take me long to get disgusted with the lack of variety in our sex life!

[populistmom]

51. So, you mean I'm not crazy

for wanting to get past vanilla and feeling like a freak or rejected when I can't get it. I'm a slow learner. Took me years to get disgusted. Actually, that was a good thing about having kids. It would slow me down just long enough to not have to think about how lousy it was.

[NightTrain]

54. You know, I'm really starting to feel badly for you!

It sounds like there has been so-o-o-o much damage done to your poor psyche. What you need is huge doses of what the psychobabble types call "positive reinforcement." Perhaps your fellow DUers can provide you with some at this Saturday's get-together.

See ya then, PM! And I look forward to it. :yourock:

[never cry wolf]

50. I agree as well

It's been almost 2 years for me, and I am married. It's not just the bad/boring sex, but if the feelings and emotions aren't there it seems kinda pointless to me.

[Catfish]

53. There are many definitions of bad sex

from boring to the worst, when the feelings and emotions aren't there. Happily, while it might not be easy to find, when you're sexually and emotionally in tune with another person, there's nothing better. I also think it's 90% mental and emotional, people don't have to be sexual athletes to have a good sex life.

[ewagner]

61. Married also

'bout 4 years.

Patience, patience, understanding, patience.

<sigh>

[Catfish]

65. maybe

but sometimes patience and understanding don't change anything.

[bitchkitty]

21. Try the spirit world -

sex with spirits is awesome! You'll never go back!

[Rex]

22. Sometimes it is hard to actually go out and meet people

I'd rather not, so I feel your pain.

[Solly Mack]

23. wow...

dang...:wow: you win

[DrWeird]

24. Yeah, uh, that's why Jesus invented hookers.

You can get them for cheap if you know the right places.

[benburch]

27. As a sexworker's rights activist (Yes, really)...

... you probably do NOT want a "cheap hooker"!

And yes, I advocate for the rights of streetwalkers as well as call girls, but were I to ever want to hire a sexworker, a streetwalker would NOT be on my menu! Too many risks here, and I am not just talking about disease.

The worst risk? If you see a woman working the street and she is pretty, clean, and dressed in nice clothes she is very likely to be an undercover cop!

I'm talking in America, of course. I would not have the same amount of reservation about picking up a streetwalker in, say, Amsterdam. The illegality of prostitution in our country is what CREATES a lot of the problems we have with it.

-Ben

[ET Awful]

26. And I thought my 5 year mark was long. . . .

You got me 2 to 1 :(

[beyurslf]

28. I have only been sexually active about 10years so a dry spell that long

freaks me. Try a local bar... about closing time :)

Be safe!

[GOPisEvil]

30. Holy Flurking Schnit!!!

:wow: You've got 9 years on me.

[Exgeneral]

31. my first reaction also

married for 20 years. YOU do the math.

[VelmaD]

32. Ok, this is an emergency.

Get in the car and get your ass to Texas. We'll fix you right up. ;-)

[Gato Moteado]

40. was that an offer?

he may be booking a flight right now.

[VelmaD]

42. Sounded like one...

didn't it? ;-)

Consider it my good deed for the decade. :-)

[FarLeftRage]

33. I know what you mean

and you're not alone.

As of last month, it has been fourteen years in my case.

Way too long a dry spell!

[Adams Wulff]

34. Look on the bright side...

I'm pretty sure you qualify for ordination in some cultures...

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

36. Jesus fella I AM ready to take up a collection for you!

[Robb]

37. Yeah, but it's still great being married, huh?

(rimshot) :evilgrin:

Thanks, I'll be here all week, tip your bartender.

[salinen]

41. It reminds me of this joke

about superman not having sex for a long time. Anyway, the girl who breaks the spell will probably limp for weeks.

[NightTrain]

44. That probably won't happen!

Let's just say, I have my ways of, um, releasing the steam from my plumbing before an explosion occurs.

[rumguy]

46. How old are you, may I ask?

[NightTrain]

47. I'm almost 38.

n/t

[rumguy]

49. wow, man, you need to do everything in your power to get laid...

[NightTrain]

52. Why? Will my virginity grow back after a certain point?

n/t

[Crunchy Frog]

55. You think you've got it bad?

I hesitate to even say in public what my situation is, lets just say that compared to me, you've got a thriving sex life.

[FrankBooth]

56. Over the span of a year ...

... celibacy is a choice. You can fall down and accidentally get laid during the course of a year IF YOU WANT TO. If you don't, then don't worry about it. I experienced a prolonged celibacy in my mid-30s (I'm 38 now) after a painful breakup. What I found most difficult about becoming sexually active again (after almost 3 years w/o sex)) was to get my sexual confidence back - my confidence had atrophied because it had been idle. But it all came back when I found the right girl, she got me back on my feet sexually speaking!

Of course, I'm now single again, but what else is new.

[Bossy Monkey]

57. Dang it! KCDem got to my joke first. Phooey :)

This happened to me, too. Don't worry about it too much. Personal ads work. Joining groups relating to subjects or activities that interest you works. Smiling works. Hang tough, be friendly, carry on.

[jimbo fett]

59. You haven't been hanging out in any parks in Austin, have you?

See the thread about the "masturbating in publice" juror. ;-)

[skypilot]

60. Somehow that doesn't faze me at all

I've had sex more recently than that but when you average out the number of times I've had sex over the past 10 years it comes to about once a year. Quite frankly, I don't know how people manage to get laid. By that I don't mean how do they go about it, I mean that 15 minutes of conversation, even with someone I find very attractive, is usually enough to keep the libido in check. There are a lot of assholes out there these days. A lot!! Once I've weeded out the assholes and the bad kissers and the bisexuals the pickings are slim. Before I go any further let me say that I'm not slamming bisexuals. I've met and dated a lot of them and I've made the decision that that's not the way to go for me. Anyway, Nightrain, when you do meet someone you'd like to become intimate with I hope it will be very special.

[bobthedrummer]

62. You've got a case of The Blues

there, Night Train.

[NightTrain]

64. Blue *balls*, anyway

However, if the phone conversation I had last night is any indication, my 10-year dry spell may soon be ending! :bounce:

[F-5]

63. 10 years? Cry me a river.

It's been 21 years for me. :cry: Yep, I admit it. I'm a 21 year-old virgin. I weep. :cry:

On edit: At least I get the whole oral thing goin' on every week. :D :)

[One Taste]

67. Hey I've gone 17 years without sex

don't feel bad! :argh: :evilgrin:

[LanternWaste]

68. none since 98 for me and it's not a big deal...

No sex since 1998 for me. And it's not really been as big a deal as I would have thought. There have been opportunities, but I've been turning them down for one reason or another. I guess I'm turning into one of those guys that just doesn't need to get laid every time I see an attractive skirt (which is odd considering the amount of times I made that mt seemingly sole objective in the 80's and early 90's).

I guess I've just gotten to that place in my life where I want to really know her before I do that and by the time I've gotten to know her well enough, I realize that she (the faceless, numerous "hers" that I've gotten involved w/ over the past few years) just doesn't do it for me.

Man, it's simply not a big deal. Doesn't make you less of a person or more of a person one way or the other. It doesn't define who you are or what your life is. It's just sex- another thing (albeit a fun one) that we've deluded ourselves into thinking is a priority and it's not.

Don't sweat it. Do "do" anything about your situation. Just live and have fun. :)

[DiverDave]

69. It's been 2 months

for me, I just couldnt imagine 10 years.

Oh, I'm married too.

[qwertyMike]

71. Me too

I got married 10 years + 1 day ago.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Until last month it had been 18 months for me :(