My daughter has figured out that one of her schoolmates "has two moms" (her words)

[KitchenWitch]

She is 5 years old.

She told me this as I was making dinner last night (I already knew that the child, I will call him Mike, had two moms).

I told her that I knew that already. She seems to want to talk about it, can anyone give me some ideas on how to handle this? I have given her the whole "families come in different flavors, and all are good" talk.

[aljones]

1. I would place no real significance to the issue

Granted I have no children, but I have always thought that when I do...I want them to look at all the things we find taboo (gay lesbian families, inter-racial relationships, etc) as normal occurrences in the world.


*edit for missing word

[Arugula Latte]

14. That's how we've handled it with our kids.

When my son was about that age, he asked me if a man could marry a man or a woman could marry a woman. I didn't get into the technicalities of "legal marriage" -- I knew what he was getting at. I just said, "Yes. Most men marry women, but many times men marry men and women marry women, and all of that is fine." It was subsequently no big deal to him. My kids have a couple friends (different families) who have lesbian parents and it's never an issue. In fact, the other day out of the blue my son (who is now 10) said: "I just don't understand why some people get upset about gay people. Why do they care? What difference does it make whether someone is gay or not?" ... I am a proud mama.

[Maddy McCall]

2. I can't give you any pointers...

because my son wasn't that young when he began to figure it out.

However you handle it, would you post back so that other parents can use your experience as they address it in their own homes?

I know you'll handle it in a sensitive way. Good luck.

:hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

3. i would tell her that some people love girls and some love boys

and mikes moms love each other, just like her parents etc

[billyskank]

4. Right.

And if you act like it's cool, your daughter will think it's cool too. Kids are very simplehearted, it is a shame we grow out of it.

[KitchenWitch]

7. I touched on that a little bit

I think she is really confused by it, and I do not want to make it worse. I also want her to know that I find nothing wrong with Mike having two moms. Because I know Mike's moms love each other, and they both love Mike.

[JackBeck]

5. Maybe the two of you could read this book together.

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/519AKBDX81L._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_OU01_AA240_SH20_.jpg

http://www.amazon.com/Family-Book-Todd-Parr/dp/0316738964/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b/104-3862888-2254341

[KitchenWitch]

6. Thank you for the suggested reading

I am going to pick this book up, and I will read with my daughter soon.

[ScreamingMeemie]

8. At five, I think that's all you need to do. If she asks questions, answer

them as they come. That's what I do anyway.

I will never forget the look on MrG's face when WannaB (at 8) asked what a condom was. He stuttered and stammered. Decided to use her baby brother as an example (i.e. "You know how mama changes BabyG's diaper...er...um...well you've seen that he's different right...? ER UM) I finally said,"It's something people use when they don't want to have babies, Sweetie." question answered and MrG's face went back to it's normal color, about 20 minutes later.

[LostinVA]

10. This gave mne a much needed chuckle, MrsG!

[ScreamingMeemie]

11. Anything for you!

:hi: :hug:

How's your day? Bad T-storms here=freaked out family (really it's only the dog that's freaking out)

[LostinVA]

13. Okay -- I have a bad headache

And stuff was insane at work today -- tres annoying.

The weather is nice, though

[Critters2]

9. I don't have any advice for how to explain this to her

but it's important that she understand that Mike has a loving family. I have two "two mom" families in my congregation, great families. But it hasn't been always been easy on the kids. Both families have, in the past, attended churches where they were made to feel unwelcome when their family situation became known. Happily, my congregation is welcoming and even protective of these kids.

We were going to do Vacation Bible School with another mainline church, but when my Ed Board learned that that denomination had a bias against glbt folks, they decided to go it alone. And the main reason was so the kids from the "two mom" families wouldn't hear anything unkind about their families.

So, simply teach your child that Mike's family is a family--just like yours.

And thanks for being thoughtful about this!

[Debi]

12. Yep, each family is made up differently but they are all lucky

they are part of a family :7