What do you think about homeschooling?

[NicoleM]

As I'm sure everybody in the free world knows by now, I'm currently gestating my first kid. So this isn't exactly an urgent decision I have to make, just something I'm pondering.

I had an extremely crappy school experience. I was bored all the time. I hardly ever had homework because I did it in class while the teacher was explaining to everybody else how to do it. I also spent a fair amount of time helping the other kids, which doesn't exactly make you popular. Long story short, I loved learning but school sucked.

But I'm not as worried about that for my kid as I am about a couple of other things.
1. I don't feel that independent thought is encouraged in most public school classes (private school is not an option for us).
2. I don't feel that kids learn enough stuff anymore, particularly history and grammar.
3. Kids are fed crap in school (not just at lunch) and they don't spend enough time running around at recess or in gym.

However, I have family members who homeschooled their kids and the poor kids basically had no interaction with anybody but their mother. Their mother is not a nice or patient person, so it wasn't a good thing. They had some serious social issues which appear to have gotten better since they've been enrolled in school.

Anyway, there are good things and bad things about homeschooling. What do you all think about it? I'd love to hear your opinions, particularly if they are informed by some sort of personal experience.

[silverlib]

1. Very rewarding

My cousin did this. We live in a community with a lot of support groups for home schooling. There are soccer teams, computer clubs, picnics, basketball teams - essentially everything to provide social interaction. The parents meet and discuss ideas. They trade off courses - one parent with a science background, another with math, another with foreign language, etc. With the support of this type of group, homeschooling is very successful. Her son is now in a very presitgious college and very well equipped to handle the educational and social surroundings.

I would not recommend home schooling without this resource.

[Bertha Venation]

2. no personal experience but I'll give my opinion anyway

If you feel confident that your child will get a good education, if you are prepared to work harder than your child and to learn just as much, and if you are able to find venues for social interaction (i.e., community band, Pop Warner or Little League, etc.), I say, go for it.

I imagine with one, two, or even three children, good homeschooling is not only possible but can be better than public school. (I work with a man who has eleven children, ages 3 mos to 17 years, all homeschooled by his wife.)

[AndyTiedye]

37. "Social Interaction" Too Often Means "Sports"

Whether homeschooled or not, too often "social interaction"
equates to sports. In fact, sports are usually presented as
the universal answer to all the problems of youth. This is
fine for kids who are reasonably athletic, but it really
sucks for those who are small and uncoordinated, because then
nobody wants you on their team. The social interaction that
occurs tends to be of a much less positive nature.

If you get to play at all, it isn't enough to make a difference.
Sitting on the bench isn't exercise.
If one is hyperactive to begin with, lack of exercise will
make it worse.

Being pushed into sports and doing horribly at them has
made couch-potatoes out of a lot of people.

There should be venues for social interaction that are not
innately competitive.

[hlthe2b]

3. I think, like parents, home schooling experiences vary widely

You can have very well educated parents (or interested parents) who turn it into an incredible opportunity-- both for their kids and themselves. They may research intensively to ensure their kids get the knowledge and experiences they need, including time with other kids in social settings.

But, how many parents can provide this?

I, too had lousy school experiences and would have been drummed out my JR and SR years for truancy, if it had not been for my good grades and ability to start college classes early (my SR year).

I hated the hip drug culture and the cliques in school and think that this can be poisonous to many young people's self-esteem. Nonetheless those "hard knock" lessons are probably necessary for us to learn at some point.

I don't know if I would home school if I had kids, because I doubt I'd have the luxury to take that kind of time without being employed full time. Nonetheless, I'd certainly become involved with my kid's school and interject myself into the homework and after-school tutoring. Tough choices, though for parents-- especially if they both need to work and can't afford private schools or other options.

[veganwitch]

4. hey!! so am i!!

just found out this morning. (when are you due?)

but about homeschooling. we are also throwing around the ideas specifically because plurality wants to be a SAHD.

I think that children who are homeschooled by parents that are really committed can be very intelligent, successful citizens. as long as they have plenty of other children to interact with, i think it is perfectly fine.

this is a really good website for home/unschooling

www.unschooling.com

if you do go through with it, let me know. i would be interested in how it fairs.

[NicoleM]

7. April 2.

Congratulations! If you need any tips or have any questions, PM me.

[veganwitch]

11. cool thanks

im not due (obviously, until September)

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. Congratulations!

Yee hah!!

[veganwitch]

13. thank you

congratulate plurality to. he beat the odds. i wont go into the gorey details but i was surprised myself.

[bigwillq]

5. Not really for it

Where I live we don't (as far as I know) have the resources as mentioned above. I feel school is more about learning reading, writing, etc.. it's also about social skills, interreaction with other kids, learning to share, blah blah blah...

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. As with most things,

sometimes it works really well, sometimes it doesn't.

I had one girl in my youth group who was having a miserable time in school (8th grade at the time) and the parents tried moving to other schools, even sent her off to family in another state, and nothing worked. So, they started homeschooling, and BAM!, problem solved. She loved it, she was happy, and learned a lot more than if she'd stayed in school.

Personally, I think homeschooling is a great idea, but it does have some potential problems, as you point out, especially lack of interaction with other children. But that can be solved through team ups with other homeschooled kids, inviting neighborhood kids over in the evening, etc. And homeschooling the child will miss some of what is really painful and horrid about public schools (bullies, cliques, stupidity, industrial environment) that while horrible, are also good lessons for life - espically things like dealing with authority, conflict resolution, sharing, and also learning to deal with arbitrary and unjust authority.

But the homeschool kid can also go to museums more often, take field trips, and also learn more easily at their own pace, whether fast or slow.

Like you, I was really bored in school - always moving way too slow. But would I have flourished under homeschooling? I'm not sure. I might not have been disciplined enough; but then, if I were doing everything at my own pace, I would have been a lot more interested, too. But homeschooling I would have missed out on drama guild and chess club and yearbook, and I am glad I had those.

So, no clear answer from Rabrrrrrr today!

[beawr]

9. From what I know

There are many resources and materials available to Home Schoolers. There are also opportunities to join with other home schooled kids to provide something of a social context. As you are now preggers, you will have an opportunity in the first three or four years of your child's life to basically home school. You should assess just how effective you are at educating your child and how much you like doing it and also how much structure you can impose. Kids learn the most at home, whether or not they're sent to School, so it may work for you to see how much you can extend what you are going to do anyway.

P.S.: You sound like you are going to be good at this.

[terryg11]

10. IF you think you cand do it go for it

and the advice everyone gave above is sound. Check with your school district to see what resources and aids they have available, that is a huge help! Around here they have excellent support. Up to you how much you want your kd to interact with others, but there are plenty of outside school activities for them to join I'm sure.

good luck

[NicoleM]

12. I should have also mentioned

that one of the reasons I want to do it is that I think it would be fun (for me). So it's not just for the kid's sake, but if I felt that it would be detrimental to him I wouldn't do it.

[DemExpat]

14. I was seriously interested in homeschooling for my 2 kids -

something that does not exist here in The Netherlands at all...probably because of the large choice in schools.

I ended up sending them to the public schools that I felt fit our philosophy the best.

My daughter loved school all through her school years.
My son never went happily to school - he just hated it and was often sick to get out of going.

Now that he is out and working full-time, all illnesses have disappeared, and his work spirit and social consciousness is more than I could have dreamed for!

I would look into homeschooling, but also take a look at local schools and see if there was one that looks appealing. If homeschooling, doing it in a group would probably be a great solution for the social contact aspect.

DemEx

[NicoleM]

15. We have

one public school and no private schools where we live.

[proud patriot]

16. To each is own

IMHO

[mike_c]

17. my daughter did a mix of Montessori school (early) and home...

...school from about what would have been eighth grade on. It worked VERY well for her, but I'm not as certain that we could have had the patience to home-school from the very beginning. Still, the experience we did have was positive.

[thingfish]

18. Why not do both?

Put your kid in school, AND supplement his/her education with extra lessons and reading. All your concerns about the public school environment can be counteracted by a proactive approach to parenting at home.

90% of going to school is learning how to deal with other people. It's a Darwinian shark tank into which we toss our own little fish. Some learn to thrive in that environment, while others are scarred for life by the experience. But everyone who comes through it emerges with a working, real-world understanding of human nature, for better and/or worse.

Then again, I'm pretty biased. I think the only kids who should be homeschooled are lepers and fundamentalist evangelicals, and only so they don't distract other, normal kids with their praying and their fingers falling off and what have you.

[NicoleM]

19. Why waste my kid's time?

If I'm going to teach him at home anyway, why make him sit in school all day?

I'm not a big fan of the Darwinian shark tank aspects of school.

[thingfish]

35. Going to school gives your kid real-world experience dealing with others.

THAT's why. Going through the socialization process is NOT a waste of time.

[gate of the sun]

47. You can have plenty of socialization without school

this is a common argument against homeschooling like socialization is some sacred cow that can only occur at school....let's see some other
places where socialization could occur.

the playground
gymnastic class
community art center
reading hour at the library or bookstore
music class
going to a friends homes
going to your parents friends home
a homeschooling group
neighborhood kids
farmer's market
family-most important
boy scout or girl scout
sports

Need I go on? Personally I would not want my child "socialized by school",socialization doesn't need to occur at school

[PassingFair]

40. I'm with you, Thingfish!

I've got two kids in school, and wouldn't DREAM of homeschooling them. My freeper sister-in-law homeschools her 3 boys, basically because she is a control freak. She pulls them out of every activity (even church) that she develops a problem with (and I mean EVERY activity). Now I understand that every homeschool mom is not a control freak, but how healthy is it for your children to have only one viewpoint (yours)?

If you have to homeschool, at least find a way to get your kids into a debating society. If not, they will be self-righteous little nerds, and it will have been all your fault.

[F-5]

20. I don't like it.

Children should be in school socializing with others, not at home. They learn their basic social behavior at school.

Children are also around other children their age at school. They make friends with those children.

I don't see how anyone would want to take that away from their kids.

[NicoleM]

23. Don't mean to be argumentative but

just because kids are around other kids doesn't mean they have friends. I didn't have an actual friend until the fourth grade.

[F-5]

24. Yeah, but...

at least they socialize and play with each other, right?

[NicoleM]

27. I didn't.

I was pretty much a social reject.

[RamblingRose]

21. My daughter is homeschooled AND attends pubic school!

What she doesn't get at school, we more than make up for at home.
We encourage and teach independent thinking.
We work on grammar at home, and encourage her to keep a diary (even though she is only in 1st grade). We take vacations and other trips to historical landmarks, and check out books from the library to learn about our destinations.
Outside of school she participates in a choir and is on a swim team.

She has already been placed into the Focus (gifted) program, and is working above grade level. This may not sound like much, but it gives her great pride and confidence.

The school she attends is very diverse, with just about all ethnic groups represented. Many homeschoolers only interact with other kids of the same race & economic status. The same can be said for private schools.

Our neighbor has a daughter the same age that is homeschooled, mainly for religious reasons. Every time I talk with her, they are off to the mall, grocery shopping, or at the doctors.

Like someone else said, if you can find a good homeschool group to join, that would be a good option. But you also find a lot of religious wacko's out there with their own homeschooling agenda.

One option may be to put you child in public school for the first few years to develop social and basic learning skills. Then if you feel things aren't working out, pull them out and homeschool.

Good Luck.

[thingfish]

36. Bravo!

I admire your spirit and ambition.

[Liberal Veteran]

22. I think it can be positve, but I have mixed feelings....

My personal observations are that children with parents who are involved in their child's education is always a good thing whether in public or private or home schooling. If you live in an area with pretty decent schools and you are involved as a parent to push and encourage you child, he or she will probably get just as good an education as if you had homeschooled.

If you are homeschooling for the right reasons (and sorry if this offends someone, but homeschooling to keep your child from being exposed to scientific ideas that you don't like or to avoid interaction with people you consider undesirable because they don't share your religious faith or social standards is a pretty bad reason) and you are prepared to make the effort, the experience will probably be positive.

[trogdor]

25. It depends.

What are your qualifications? Do you have a college degree? In what?

How long are you prepared to homeschool? Sixth grade? Ninth grade? High school?

You can encourage independent thought regardless of where the child goes to school. If you keep getting calls from the principal's office, you are prefectly free to tell them they're full of it when that is the case.

You are also free to create opportunities for the child to engage in physical activity, to augment the instruction given at the school with your own academic program, engage the administration when you think your child is not being adequately challenged, or even run for the school board.

In short, you pay taxes for the school whether your child goes there or not. You have a right to insist they do their jobs.

[NicoleM]

30. Some answers.

I have a college degree in American History. If I do it, it would be until either the kid doesn't want to do it anymore, or I don't want to. I would also put him in school if I thought he needed something he could get in school that I wasn't able to give him.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

32. only you know what is best for your child...the choice is your alone to

make ..the only thing i lacked: the ability to them a second language

but that isn't taught until high school in our district anyway (which is a shame) the younger they are taught the easier it is for them to crasp....both of my granddaughters 1st & 3rd graders already speak French and Italian fluently...they are in a Magnet school geared towards Global Studies...language taught everyday K-12

[RamblingRose]

26. Ask Michael Jackson or Brian Wilson?

n/t

[PVnRT]

28. It can be good or bad

On the one hand, there is the socialization aspect of school, something overlooked or scoffed at by many. It is in school, primarily, where we learn to deal with others, especially people who are different from us. It is an invaluable place to make friends, get out of the house, get involved with things, and so forth.

The problems that you speak of stem mostly from the reliance, nearly fanatic, that this country has on standardized testing.

On the balance, I think sending them to school is better, so that they will be better prepared, socially, when it comes to college and work.

[greatauntoftriplets]

41. Socialization in the classroom teaches kids the skills

they will need to survive in the working world. You learn how to deal with all kids of people; you learn to compromise. Sad, but that skill is vital in the workplace.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

29. if homeschooling networking is important, we had annual science fairs and

went on 3/4 group trips a year together ...whale watching, museums, art centers, etc. and also enroll them in a childrens theather group and little league or other team sports these are good for social developement ...i homeschooled two of my four children for 8 years...they are now in public school (2 years) and both are on the superintendents honor roll and both are john hopkins scholars ...my two older children who were not homeschooled both recieved fine public school educations. they did just as well as the two i did homeschool...and i am very pleased with the public high school education they are now recieving :7

[tigereye]

31. My son attends a progressive private school

My husband and I talked about home-schooling, but that would have taken more energy than I had. :), plus it would have been hard to do that and continue my work, too. I do have friends who home school and they have found it very rewarding and I admire their energy.

I live in an uban area where there are many resources for home-schoolers, special classes at the museums, etc. and BTW, lots of progressives and lefties are choosing to home-school now, not just the fundies. Since there are so many options for interactions, I don't think kids have to miss out on the social aspects. My son is shy, so a more typical, but small, school format works well for him now. In the future, who knows?

One of the things to remember is to ask the kid what THEY like, too, when he or she is old enough. Kids are pretty savvy about their likes and dislikes. A friend told me that and it was very good advice.

Good luck and have fun.

[Kanary]

33. My experience

The experience I have is from the standpoint of being a naturalist with a state park, and leading school group tours. The home school groups were quite unpopular, and nobody wanted to take them. The reason? We were not expected, as tour leaders, to provide discipline. The rules were given to all schools before their tour. Public schools had plenty of teachers and aides and parents to keep things in line. The home school groups didn't. The parents who showed up just hung in the back and talked with each other and let the kids run wild. Our guess was that after being with the kids all day every day, the parents were ready for a break, and used these tours for that. We never finished a tour feeling like we had accomplished anything, or that the kids got very much out of it. I quit taking any of the home school groups, and I think eventually the park started refusing to set up tours with the home groups.

This is my only experience, but obviously it didn't leave me with a very good impression. I'm sure many will reply that there are all kinds of home school experiences, and that this isn't indicative. Maybe, but it happened all the time, and we just weren't enthusiastic about these tours.

It's hard enough being a parent without taking on another role.

Kanar

[JanMichael]

34. It's a great way to keep women out of the workforce.

Damn, you know, with all those housewives that enetered the economy a few years back it lowered real wages and expectation of benefits. Diluted the pool, if you get my drift.

I'm all for it!</sarc>

[mitchum]

45. That's a very trenchant observation

Homeschooling also becomes an option for those privileged one income families.

[One Taste]

38. I'm 17 and went from a good public school

to doing semi-home schooling in the form of a cyber charter school due to migraines I've had for the past year or so. I started in mid-October (effectively missing a month and a half) and was finished with my 1st semester courses in about two months and I'm already finished with one full year course, and can take any course I want online from any community college in Pennsylvania for free, plus the credits count for college and high school. Things that take me a day to get through by myself at home would take a week in the school that I used to go to, and it was one of the "best" public schools in the state.

[KCDem]

39. depends on the kid

My older daughter is 4, and for awhile has been showing her own unique learning style. She would NOT be a good candidate for home schooling. She doesn't take direction from me very well, and is too easily distracted, yet she does great around others. For her, learning is a competition (like it was for me, come to think of it) and if there's no one to compete against, she's not going to apply herself. My younger daughter is just barely 2, and it's far too early to see what her style is. But no point in staying home to teach one while the other's at school!

One of my good friends is planning on homeschooling her daughter... and, quite honestly, it seems like her daughter WILL benefit from it. Different strokes, different folks. To make HS work, it takes the right personality of both parent and child.

What bugs me is that there don't seem to be standards. I am on a parenting list with a total IDIOT of a woman who is homeschooling 3 kids. Shudder.

I fully agree with the idea of sending kids to public school and then supplementing with fulfilling learning exercises at home.

[jus_the_facts]

42. My niece was homeschooled and attended high school for a year....

....she got a scholastic scholorship as she had enough credits to forgo her senior year in high school and started college last semester...she made 4.0....I was against her bein' homeschooled from the beginning as my sister and husband are Southern Baptist and it freaked me out to think of them bein' the only input her mind was gonna receive.....I'm amazed that my neice is as intelligent as she is...her acheivements are astounding to me as I never thought it could work to her advantage to be so sheltered...glad to have been proven wrong....she's quite a beautiful..intelligent young lady...but the Fundie beliefs are ingrained...just hope she's smart enough to see through all that garbage eventually....

[populistmom]

43. It can be good

If it's done right. I, for one, do not have the patience or energy to do it right and I frankly, need the space. Our children go to public school and we try to foster an environment at home that also involves learning. So far, so good.

[mitchum]

44. I am completely in favor of public schools

Christ, I'm a left of center Democrat. Why wouldn't I be?

[Lydia Leftcoast]

46. My public school experience was mixed

I loved elementary school and hated junior and senior high school. In retrospect, however, my bad experiences on the secondary level were a kind of schooling in themselves.

I would have hated to be schooled receiving only my parents' input. My mother, in particular, had a tendency to smother, and it was good for me to get out of the house every day.

However, they did compensate for the mediocre academic standards at the school where I spent my secondary years by having lots of books around the house, discussing current events, giving us music lessons (piano and violin), and taking us on trips and local excursions. When we went to Florida, for example, we didn't just go lie around on the beach. We stopped off at all the historic sites along the way: the Lincoln country in Illinois, Andrew Jackson's home and Civil War sites in the South, St. Augustine in Florida, and also the historical parts of Savannah, Charleston, Williamsburg, D.C. and Philadelphia on the way home.

The same was true when we went to Europe. My parents made sure we learned about the sights we were going to see before we saw them (e.g. why Canterbury Cathedral was signficant, or who Rembrandt was).

As a result, we all ended up much better educated than the reputation of our school would suggest.

[hedgetrimmer]

48. Nicole, be the world you want to live in...

does the schooling in the school systems bring you the ideals you want in your world... can you give better for the reality you want your child to grow up in?

you do not have all the answers, neither do i or anybody else... i know that the structure in which the educating process is done does not reflect the way in which i want to create what 'is' for my child... homeschooling starts with the very first diaper change, it starts with the first hug, the first kiss... you begin to create the world your child lives in by how you create his/her nest... and so it begins, you are alreay a teacher to your child... do what in your heart is best, most reflective and appealing to you forget eveybody else... this is YOUR life and your CHILDS life, everyone will have an opinion and if you look hard enough you will find support for everyone of them but the only thing that matters is wether or not you can support your own...

[Endangered Specie]

49. I did for a year

IT was very helpful (those were troubling times).

I would not recommend it for more than a couple years. Its good for when, say, the public school you have been assigned sucked (as my case partially), or when their is significant physcological reasons. During certain periods of teenagerhood, it might be good to have a home environment, it is usually more suitable to learning.

[jpgray]

50. Can make kids socially stunted, in my opinion. (nt)

[HuckleB]

51. It's a great addition for the child who attends public or private school.

As a pure and sole alternative to public or private school, I think the negatives far outweigh the positives for the child. Granted, it can soothe some of the fears of parents, but those shouldn't enter the equation. It's about the child, IMHO.

[vi5]

52. I personally think school is 60% social education...

and 40% academic education. Even if you think the split is 50/50 or 40/60, you would still be denying your kid a large chunk of experience and education. What good is knowing how to read and do math or understand science if you don't know how to interact with people and to handle social situations both good and bad?

[randr]

53. Poor children raised by sociophobes

Most of these parents are trying to shield their children from belief systems that may challenge their own. Some have valid educational reasonings. These are the very same people that need to involve themselves in the public system in order to make improvements.