Jokes for women by women

[silverlib]

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to
me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...

_______________________

A couple is lying in bed... The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"
The woman says, "I'll miss you..."

_______________________

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he
stepped out of the shower, "honey,
what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn
like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

_______________________

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make
love to you really badly.
She said - Well, you succeeded.

______________________

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board
while I sit on the sofa and fart.

_______________________

He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I
gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror

______________________

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

_______________________

A man and his wife, now! in their 60's, were celebrating their
40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to
them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she
would grant each of them a very special wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!

__________________

AND THE BEST ONE YET...
A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
* She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
* Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
* Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
* Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
* And her husband is on the back of the milk carton

---------------------------------------------------

A PRAYER....
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.

AMEN

[KensPen]

1. Here's one that always makes me laugh....

on average women make less for doing the same job.




BWAHAHAHAHAHA

[plcdude]

2. well done I will forward these

to my wife.

[UrbScotty]

3. I'm a Man!

Have a problem with that?

[silverlib]

4. Not at all!

I love men!

Men have wonderful jokes about women, too!

[Kellanved]

5. me too

And joke #1 is clearly outdated. Thanks to this guide I have hardly any trouble understanding washing instructions (;-) )


http://homepage.ntlworld.com/seanellis/b3ta/LaundryGuide.htm

[Fleshdancer]

6. cute!

My husband is very intelligent, but I think he would have said "University of Oklahoma" too. After constantly putting my dry cleaning in the washing machine, Paul is banned from doing laundry. I'm not sure, but I think that was his strategy all along.