"Free Paris" Petition! (LiKe OMG!!!1!!11!)

[Bicoastal]

I found this posted on an IMDb message board, without a link. Thus far I haven't been able to find a source and confirm its existence, but whether real or invented, it's still one of the funnier things I've seen this week. You'll especially appreciate the political reference at the bottom, I'm sure...
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To: The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of the State of California
Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.

Hilton is notable for her leading roles on the FOX reality series The Simple Life and in the remake of the Vincent Price horror classic "House of Wax". In addition to her work as an actress, she has achieved some recognition as a model, celebrity spokesperson, singer, and writer.

As most of America now knows, Ms. Hilton was just charged in a Los Angeles court with DUI and sentenced to 45 days in Century Regional Detention Facility in California beginning on or before June 5, 2007.

We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong. We do not support drunk driving or DUI charges. Paris should have been sober. But she shouldn't go to jail, either.

As depicted on Friday night's episode "Nancy Grace" on Headline News (May 4, 2007), countless celebrities have been "slapped on the wrist" for similar incidents recently. Nick Nolte, Mel Gibson, Tracy Morgan, Wynonna Judd, to name a few, were arrested and never did a day in jail after their initial arrests for drunk driving /DUI /DWI charges. Rappers Busta Rhymes and Eve still walk free after both being arrested for the same charges as Ms. Hilton just this past week. Brandy's California Highway accident, although no proof of DUI was evidenced in her accident, resulting in the death of a young wife and mother in California, yet Brandy walks free as of today, never doing any time and A WOMAN HAS BEEN KILLED most likely due to her reckless driving!

Yet, Paris Hilton did not hurt, injure, or kill anyone or anything, and yet she must do jail time.

This petition is to ask Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris Hilton for her mistake. Please allow her to her return to her career and life. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't hurt or kill anyone, and she has learned her lesson. She is sincere, apologetic, and full of regret for her actions as she explained tearfully to the Judge handling her case in court yesterday.She is distraught and understandably afraid.

WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT to save our Paris from ending up at the Century Regional Detention Facility! Please sign to tell The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of the State of California, to think about the welfare of this young woman who has made a mortal error and deserves a second chance like so many others in our great nation have been served with after a mistake they have made . If the late Former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late Former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s), we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well, and we hope and expect The Governor will understand and grant this unusual but important request in good faith to Ms. Paris Whitney Hilton.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned
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[Deja Q]

1. OMFG. "Paris Hilton did not hurt, injure, or kill anyone or anything, and yet she must do jail..."

Haven't these craven cretins ever heard of "attempted ____"? Haven't these naive nitwits ever heard that driving under the influence, even if nobody is hurt or nothing damaged, IS STILL ILLEGAL BECAUSE IT'S JUST POSSIBLE SOMEONE COULD GET HURT OR DIE??!

[fizzgig]

2. boo hoo

poor paris


:puke:

that just gives me less hope for the future

[Xipe Totec]

3. Free Paris! signed - The Vichy Bushies nt

[ronnykmarshall]

4. That should sink like a stone.

Her "fans" are as clueless and stupid as her and her family.