Someone has issues.

[SOteric]

http://edinburgh.gumtree.com/edinburgh/04/9401904.html

"Seeking unstable woman for drama driven love/hate relationship , Age 25

Date: Monday 30th April
Hi there,

I'm seeking a like-minded woman to share a disasterous 3-9 month relationship with, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal proceedings.

My name is Miguel , I live in Edinburgh , I'm 25 years old, Fairly well educated, I hold down a good job and am pretty stable. I'm told I'm fairly good looking, but I'll let you be the judge of that - I'm generally caring and very honest.

I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion - but whose paranoia, self-loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the eventual emotional breakdown of one or other party - or if we're lucky - both!

You should:

* be 20 to 35 years old;
* have a history of short, intense, drama-driven relationships;
* enjoy degrading and dehumanising sex;
* have undergone negative psychiatric evaluations in the past; and
* be willing to threaten self-harm and/or annihilation as a weapon to control your partner and make them stay with you and care for you.

Although not completely necessary, I would prefer women:

* with nice smiles;
* that have larger than average breasts;
* who are married or already in unstable relationships;
* that drink to forget; and
* who have had a previous established diagnosis of Borderline or Dependent Personality Disorder or Bi-Polar Affective Disorder - or who are currently taking Lithium Carbonate, SSRIs, or Tri-cyclic antidepressants

If you think you meet these requirements (and wow, I'm getting excited just writing them!), please don't hesitate to get back to me as soon as possible. In the meantime, thank you for reading my advert, and do take care.

All the best,

Miguel x"

ps This advert is in recognition of the big neon sign on my forehead that everyone else can see except me.

[Pacifist Patriot]

1. I think I'm in love.

Except the bastard exhibits ageism. There are some damned fine 38 year old specimens out there Miguel. Sheesh!

[Orsino]

11. Yeah. If it's drama he wants...

...he shouldn't discount experience.

[SPKrazy]

2. He's been reading my diary

damn him!

he likes women with issues :crazy:

[SOteric]

6. Have you ever

both been seen in a room at the same time?

[SPKrazy]

16. well, no, no we haven't

:crazy:


:rofl:

[skygazer]

3. You gotta love a man with a sense of humor

:rofl:

[SOteric]

7. But you've only gotta love 'im

if you meet his requirements.

[Critters2]

4. I find honesty a real turn-on.

Too bad about the "larger than average breasts" thing, cuz we would've made a helluva couple!

[SPKrazy]

17. well on the other hand

i'm thinking of using his ad, as it describes my preferences :P

and i'm not particular about "larger than average breasts" :D

[SmokingJacket]

5. British personal ads are the funniest things. nt

[applegrove]

8. Sounds like he knows what he wants outta life?

[lildreamer316]

9. LOVE it!!

Gonna myspace this...

[SOteric]

10. Oooo! Good plan!

Posting this on myspace will get this fella LOTS of responses!! Or maybe a FReeper church picnic.

:bounce:

[Cabcere]

12. Damn...

I fit pretty much all of those criteria, except for "attractive." x( :P

[Cannikin]

13. having just gotten out of a not-too-dissimilar relationship, I found it hilarious.

Except mine was a total of six years with him breaking up every two years for a few months then coming back.

[wildhorses]

14. and, do take care

:rofl:

i would send him a pm saying i met all those requirements
and then ask him if he meets mine...

* be 20 to 35 years old;
* have a prison record
* enjoy degrading and dehumanising sex;
* have undergone negative psychiatric evaluations in the past; and
* unable to hold a job
* intense penetrating....eyes
* jack nicholson type grin as portrayed in the shining
* long phallus and girth counts
* who are married or already in unstable relationships;
* that drink to forget; and
* who have had a previous established diagnosis of sociopath or paranoid/schizophrenia

talk about a couple made in heaven;)

[ornotna]

15. Funny

If you enjoyed that one, check this out.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6592990

[politicat]

18. Good grief, I know him!!

Or his spiritual twin....