I have a question. You people are the smartest I've ever seen.

[hickman]

I posted a comment on another board. People who don't discipline their children in public should lose them. Yes, I know, kind of incendiary. I was reacting to someone who wanted to call the police on a father that wanted to stop his kid from throwing food at his mother by starting to take off his belt. The poster bragged about confronting the dad and threating to call the police. That was it. The poster never helped in any way just did the self-righteous crap. So I posted my views. Children should have a healthy fear of their parents. Now I've been slammed repeatedly by some one who claims to be a child psychologist. Am I wrong?

[Heidi]

1. When we acted up in public, one or both of our parents removed us from the situation

and took us outdoors or to the car for a talkin' to. The real repercussions didn't come until we got home. Knowing my parents, they didn't want to escalate, at the expense of other folks in our vicinity, whatever drama one or more of us three kids were causing. (I can remember only a couple of times during my childhood when one of us had to be removed from the scene for a "talkin' to," though.)

[hickman]

5. I was raised in the 50's and 60's.

the only reason I didn't become a drug dufus in the 70's was because I was scared of my Dad. He was the one that always was looking out for me when I was young and terrified me if I screwed up. My Mom was a drunk and basically ignored me till my baby sister was born, then she needed me. Healthy fear is not an oxymoron. Healthy fear is what our parents grew up with.

[Heidi]

7. I understand, hickman.

My parents preferred that we learn respect for, rather than fear of, them and others. :hug:

[hickman]

9. Heidi I only had one functioning parent.

He did the best he could. Me and my 5 brothers and sisters are are good people because he put the fear of God in us. My Mom was a sweet kind drunk. She couldn't take care of anything. My Dad had to make the money and raise the kids. Iron fist in the velvet glove.

[Heidi]

10. I completely understand.

My sister and I were adopted by my parents at five and six, respectively, and before our adoption we saw and experienced enough fear and violence to last a lifetime. Perhaps that's why our parents were more intent on teaching us respect than fear. I'm glad you had a good dad; and I'm sorry your mom wasn't a functioning parent. :hug:

I've gotta go get some work done. I wish you sweet dreams, friend. :pals:

[hickman]

6. Exactly. Child act out and they get removed.

Probably spends a lot of time in their room with no toys. Maybe with their nose in a corner. No begging by mom to behave. No begging by dad to act normal so mommy and dad can eat their food.

[Rising Phoenix]

2. you have a right to your opinions

but my parents disciplined me without ever making me fear my physical saftey.... I think that is important and its how I want to raise my kids....when I have them...minus the catholic guilt...lol

[hickman]

3. So if you fear nothing,

As a child, you will be well?

[Rising Phoenix]

4. I didn't say I feared nothing

I said I never had fear for my physical being.... I sure as hell didn't want to be yelled at or have a favorite toy taken away....I don't think your opinion is wrong, I suppose sometimes a child needs that kind of fear, but only as a last resort....

[hickman]

8. I'm not talking about a fear of being slugged or spanked.

I was the second oldest of 6. The only time we got spanked or hit was when we did life threatening things. The last time my dad ever hit me was when I tried to run across a road and almost got hit by one of those double trucks. I was 10. He told me to stand still but the lake was across the road. I went for it. My dad spent some time apologising to the truck driver who slammed on his brakes and missed me, and my dad spent time spanking the hell out of me. I loved him and tried to do right in my life because of him. I will miss him till the day I die.