What do you do when you learn that your friend/coworker is a racist asshole?

[Orrex]

Well, maybe not an asshole, but definitely racist. We're not close friends, either, but we work together and have always gotten along quite well.

A few days ago she was describing how, in a previous phone-based customer-service job, she had to deal with a lot of "Porto Rickans" whose English was less than flawless (but more fluent, I assert, than my friend's grasp of Spanish (or mine, while I'm at it)).

Additionally, she noted that she "hates those Vietnamese" who work at a local nail salon. "It's like they're not even saying words," she lamented. "Just ching ching chong."

Until that conversation I had no idea of her attitudes about race. But it's really given me a jolt, and it's occupied my thoughts each time I've talked to her since then.


How would you handle this?

Buy a panda?
:shrug:

[PleadTheFirst]

1. Well to quote The Specials ...

If you have a racist friend
Now is the time, now is the time
For your friendship to end

Be it your sister, be it your brother
Be it your cousin, or your uncle, or your lover

If you have a racist friend
Now is the time, now is the time
For your friendship to end

Be it your best friend, or any other
Is it your husband, or your father, or your mother

Either change their views
Or change your friends

If you have a racist friend
Now is the time, now is the time
For your friendship to end

So if you know a racist who thinks he is your friend
Now is the time, now is the time
For your friendship to end

Call yourself my friend
Now is the time to make up your mind
Don't try to pretend

Be it your sister, be it your brother
Be it your cousin, or your uncle, or your lover

So if you have a racist friend
Now is the time, now is the time
For our friendship to end

- - - - -

Not trying to be glib; I always think of this song whenever the subject of racism rears its ugly head.

So if I were you, I would do my best to associate as little as possible with them, at the very least. Of if you are the more confrontational type, tell them that you don't approve of their racist views and will not speak to them unless the job calls for it.

Good luck!

[Gormy Cuss]

2. Ask innocent loaded questions.

In the workplace I tend to tread lightly if there's any wiggle room for the person to claim that it isn't racism. I'd find it hard to call her on the Puerto Rican comment with the info you presented here. Maybe she was dealing with Puerto Ricans still living on the island. Yeah, I know it's unlikely but just pointing out a way that it could be presented as innocuous should she be called on it by HR. I would have asked her that question.

The "ching ching chong" comment is easy because you know damn well that whatever the people at the nail salon are saying, it isn't that. I'd say something like "Gee. People actually say "ching ching chong?" The Vietnamese language has a lot of other consonant sounds. Are you sure they're Vietnamese? Why would they only use those specific sounds, which are remarkably close to the old racist epithet "ching chong Chinaman?" Then feel free to remind her about the Puerto Rican comment. Ask her how she knows they were Puerto Rican. Chances are good that it wasn't because they were calling from the island, and that's your opening to point out her racism based on both comments.

Or you could buy a panda.

[Shine]

3. I would be honest with her about your reaction and

let her know that you are a bit shocked and dismayed to hear her speak of other cultures in that way. You can soften the blow by acknowledging how you've always gotten along, but in the future you'd appreciate her keeping her racist comments to herself because you're personally offended by them.

That will make an impact, I guarantee.

That's what I'd do. Good luck. :hi:

[LoZoccolo]

4. It sounds more like she's complaining about people speaking other languages. n/t