How would you feel if you discovered your daughter....

[Left Is Write]

was dating a Republican?

And learning what could be considered racist views from either that person or that person's associates?

[Texasgal]

1. I would feel sad...

and I would would question what she found so endearing.

[KG]

2. intervention.

[hippiechick]

11. I agree.

:evilfrown:

[SPKrazy]

16. Intervention

:rofl:





save me hippiechick!

:scared:

these people are scawy!

:hi:


:rofl:

[hippiechick]

18. No scarier than this!

:hide: :scared: :cry:


I'll save you if you save me !!!


:hide: :scared: :cry:



:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

20. is that who i think it is?

you know

diaper d00d?

:rofl:

I'll save ya man!

:hug:


come with me!

:loveya:

[hippiechick]

24. The one and only poor little rich boy, yeah.

:puke: Go sleep now Dr. Southpaw!


:hi:

[Elidor]

25. It's Charles Emerson Winchester, the Third!

:rofl:

[hippiechick]

29. ROFLMAO !!!! Bwaaaa !!!!

OH. THANK YOU FOR THAT !!!! :toast: :rofl: :applause:

You just made an ugly break-up a whole lot easier!!!!

[Catshrink]

3. Send her to deprogramming.

[Left Is Write]

4. This is so weird. None of these replies are showing up in my "My DU"

The thread is there, but not the replies.

[AlCzervik]

5. Learning like "Learning republicans are racists" or learning like embracing those views?

[Left Is Write]

7. Let's just say her views on immigration have changed recently.

I don't want to potentially embarrass her by going into personal details in a public forum, and today is the first time she told me about her new boyfriend. I'm just feeling some concern about his influence on her.

[AlCzervik]

12. thats a tough spot for you to be in for sure, hoprfully she'll figure out

that his crowd isn't the one she wants to be with. Maybe it's just the novelty you, something different. The bloom may wear off that rose really fast.

[LostinVA]

33. That's a tough one

So many people, especially if they are young, co-opt views, etc. from people they date.

:sigh:

[LeftyMom]

6. First I'd wonder when I had a girl without noticing.

Then I'd take her aside and share my concerns. My guess is that a well-raised girl might be thinking that she can change a guy like that, or if she's a bit sheltered she might be misinterpreting things he says that aren't overtly racist. I don't think forbidding a girl to see a guy ever worked out well, but sharing concerns in a way that encourages dialog might.

[Left Is Write]

9. I can't forbid her to do anything. She's just shy of 20 years old and self-supporting.

[ContraBass Black]

15. That she's an adult in the final formative stages makes it a very different situation.

There's little more you can do than set an example and be honest when your opinion is asked.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

8. "a Republican" is too vague. -nt

[Left Is Write]

10. A conservative who apparently has concerns about the "white race"

or the "American race" becoming a minority.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

13. Whoa. With that one little word you changed it ALL.

Racists will get expelled from my house in a kinetically unpleasant fashion.

[some guy]

19. If you get a chance to meet him...

ask him if he thinks he wants to have twenty or so children to do his part in helping to prevent the "white race" from becoming a minority.

That might ake her rethink how involved she wants to be with him.




(on a lighter note, I posted to your 'weird, weird dupe' thread, hoping to make it grow into the next kudzu-like thread.)

:D

:hug:

[Connonym]

28. oh no!

Racism is one area where there is no middle ground. They're hideously wrong. You definitely need to have an intervention. She may not listen but you have to let her know how you feel about that. Remind her of the way she was raised and what your values are and why. It could be she's just parroting his views because that's what we do sometimes when we're young and silly and want to fit in (been there done that). Hopefully it will soon pass and she'll recognize him for the asshole he obviously is.

:hug:

[LostinVA]

34. That's not just being a Republican

That's getting into John Bircher/white supremacist territory.

She's about 20, right? Try talking to her about her new views.

[Left Is Write]

37. She actually used the words

"American race."

This was all in a phone call yesterday - apparently she's been seeing him for a few weeks.

[LostinVA]

42. "American race" is ominous, I agree

Talk to her about it. I saw this happen to a cousin of mine because of her BF.

:sigh:

[Nicole]

14. I would feel extremely sad.

I would be disappointed that some creep had the ability to change her views so easily. I would be worried about what other negative changes might lie ahead with him in her life. I would be worried sick about that.

[SPKrazy]

17. Me too

I am worried about it...

in fact, I think we should worry about this one a lot

meet me at the Hideaway and we'll worry over Pizza :P

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

21. I would be shocked, seeing as how I don't have a daughter

But I'd have to say I'd let her make her own mistakes, but yell at her every chance I got!

[Left Is Write]

22. Her learning to espouse racist views is more than a mistake...

I'm not sure I can swallow it.

It's not how I raised her, certainly.

[Midlodemocrat]

23. LIW. You are a GREAT mom.

and your daughter might not have been bitten by the politic bug yet. Her date might be parroting what his parents have said and she might be parroting you.

Don't worry about it. There IS more to life than politics, despite what DUers say.

[Writer]

26. I would set-up a "girls night" where the two of you watch "American History X."

That'll take care of the problem.

[BikeWriter]

27. Someone would get an ass kicking.

[JVS]

30. You should set her up with someone better than him

[Left Is Write]

38. I'd like to, except she lives 1500 miles away.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

31. you are a good mother, just sit her down and share your concerns

shes young and impressionable, and men in society have a certain power over young women (they speak from a certain voice of authority) etc. explain your concerns and hopefully she will weigh them and reconsider her position.

[vi5]

32. If she's grown and out of my house it's not my business...

Honestly. I wouldn't be happy about it, but if she's an adult and not a high schooler then it's ultimately none of my business either way who she dates as long as that person is not abusive to her.

[Lyric]

36. Honestly, I would consider influencing someone toward racism to be abusive.

At least mentally/emotionally.

[Left Is Write]

39. She is grown and out of the house.

And of course her choices are her business.

But when what she chooses to share with me gives me cause for concern, I'm going to be concerned!

You'll note my OP didn't say, "What would you do" - it said, "How would you feel".

(And if he does wind up filling her head with racist notions and pro-war propaganda, I might just consider that abusive.)

[vi5]

41. Well in that case...

I'd feel concerned, and dissapointed obviously. But I would also feel like if I raised her right and thought she had a good head on her shoulders and trusted her, that until I saw evidence that this was impacting her life in a negative way that I would feel it was my responsibility to stay out of it.

Does she agree with you politically? Then I would trust her to be able to hold her own.

[Crazy Dave]

35. Seriously that's a tough one

Like most interfaith relationships fail, so do most that don't share the same political ideals. But then again, I know several decent young men who have different political and christian ideals than me who would be good and responsible for my stepdaughter and I also know and have known many liberal, drunk, drug-addicts, wife-beaters and stalkers too.

So ask yourself now and in the future, "is her boyfriend good enough for me or is he good for her?" :hi:

[Shell Beau]

40. I wouldn't be worried about the republican part, but I would be

concerned about the racist part. Depending on the age of your daughter, there may not be much you can do but trust that she will see it for what it is.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

43. Is she playing "Christian Rock" real loud?

Or constantly changing your car radio buttons to right-wing talk?

She'd be SO grounded!!

Racism is a separate thing. Not all racists are Republican, and not all Republicans are racist.

On the other hand, if she's older, then her racism or lack of it was probably set years ago. I don't know if it's completely curable, but it can be managed.

[Guava Jelly]

44. As pretty as your daughter is I would keep her locked in the basement

until she was 30 if i were you.
But with an adorable mom how could she no be cute.
I would though ask her to stand up to the bigotry or at least tell them not to use such ignorance around you at least out of respect.

[skygazer]

45. My daughter married a Republican

And has become one herself. :cry:

How does it feel? Awful. Horrible. Shameful. The guy's a bum, who has never held a job longer than a week in the 7 years they've been married. He's a drunk, fat slob who watches Fox news and drinks Budweiser out of a can and spends the money she makes on gaming systems and electronic toys.

Stop her. Stop her now. Lock her up if you have to. I'm series!!11!!!

[jobycom]

46. I'd feel concerned for the Republican.

I've heard my daughter take on Republicans. You'd never know she was failing Language Arts by the force of her rhetoric. Her mother watched her in a chat room once with some of her local friends. The step-mother of one of her friends suddenly jumped online, criticizing my daughter and all of her friends. Her stepdaughter, she said, had suddenly declared she was bisexual, and stepmom blamed all of these friends--despite the facts that none of these friends are bi or lesbian, the stepdaughter had told none of them that she thinks she is bi, and that the stepdaughter's own mother is lesbian.

Anyway, the other friends skidaddled, but my 13 year old stuck it out. "You should be proud of your daughter," she told the step. "You should love her for who she is." The step lashed out, calling my daughter evil and godless, to which my daughter responded "Of course I'm godless. I'm an atheist." The step got angrier, telling her she should respect her elders, to which my daughter repeated "You should be proud of your child." The step finally pulled out her ace: How would you like it if I told your parents you were an atheist, and encouraging sin, and that you were arguing with your elders? What would they think of the way you are acting?

My daughter replied "I think they'd be proud of me for sticking up for my friends. But you can ask my mom. She's reading all of this as I type it." The Step went away after this. Her mother even called me to brag about it.

BTW, before I married her mother, she was a Republican. She's not now.

So I wouldn't worry if my daughter started dating a Republican. I'd trust her and trust the way I've raised her. I would set some ground rules--no guns, she couldn't visit his house if he has guns (I've lost too many friends through accidental shootings), and if he ever uttered a racist or homophobic slur around me, he'd never be welcome in my home again. But other than that, I'd assume she saw something deeper in him, and that she knew what she was doing.