ohiosmith
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Tue May-22-07 04:40 PM
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These are real answers from school kids given on Science Exams.
Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death.
Q: What is artificial insemination? A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three parts- the brainium, the borax, and theabdominal cavity. The brainiumcontains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels,A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula? A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. (I do love this one...)
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean section" A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome .
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?' A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
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Midlodemocrat
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Tue May-22-07 04:42 PM
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1. ohiosmith!! Tomorrow is the BIG day!!! |
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:woohoo:
I have to go early because I have to teach a class at 12Noon.
:woohoo:
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ohiosmith
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Tue May-22-07 04:47 PM
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4. Why must you torture me? The nearest CB is more than 100 miles from me. |
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Edited on Tue May-22-07 04:57 PM by ohiosmith
Enjoy at the peril of your immortal soul.
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billyskank
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Tue May-22-07 04:45 PM
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cwydro
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Tue May-22-07 04:46 PM
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Parche
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Tue May-22-07 04:49 PM
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Its when Hawaiian people lie alot, they 'Fibula'
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TZ
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Tue May-22-07 04:49 PM
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I particularly like the one about cigarettes causeing "premature death". Funny and apt!:)
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firefox_fan
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Tue May-22-07 04:52 PM
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Edited on Tue May-22-07 05:34 PM by firefox_fan
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VenusRising
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Tue May-22-07 04:54 PM
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8. A lie told by Dracula. |
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That was what first came to my mind.
I'm a smartass. :shrug:
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DU
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Sat May 04th 2024, 08:07 AM
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