So, this weekend is my Mother's Family's Reunion. (I need reunion Stories)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

And we have to stay in a crappy hotel. And I have to deal with everyone's Alcoholism. Yeah. Go Me.
Could you guys tell me stories, funny, sad, crazy? Please get me geared up for this weekend, that I'm sure will not be that fun.
Duckie

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Do you absolutely have to go? Could you suddenly, er, "come down" with

something really contagious so nobody wants you to go, like ebola? Reunions pretty much suck.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

2. If I don't go...

My mom won't get to see her oldest brother ever again. He's in poor health, lives in California, and will probably be dead before too long. I can't be the thing that stops her from doing that, no matter how I feel about her sometimes, or how much I'm worried that this side of the family are a bunch of banjo playing, Deliverance country inbreds. :shrug:
Duckie

[AlCzervik]

3. i have a really creepy one if you want to hear it?

[YellowRubberDuckie]

4. Of course.

I asked for it. Tell it!
Thanks!

[AlCzervik]

5. ok.

About 10 years ago my Uncle was getting married, now he is already heinous enough, he spent 5 years in England so he fancies himself the proper englishman--he so isn't but he can't admit fact that he was born of a plumber, yes a plumber--a jewish one and not some long lost british royalty!! OMG the horror!! Ok so my sister, father and I have to go, there is no way out so the 3 of us drive up to Vermont because the wedding was to be held on his overly affected obnoxious fiance's "Family estate" (small farm, like 2 acres" in whatever town Ben and Jerry's headquarter is at, can't remember.

Alright so we get there at the appointed time, a stifling hot and humid chapel that some famous dead poet once sat his precious ass in and the ceremony starts, to say it was dreary is about the nicest thing i can say, finally it's done and we can all go outside and breathe, anyhow his guest list was a veritable who's who of assclowns, lots of pipes and bad haircuts and the noise, like the noise old aristocrats make- "mumblemumblethroatclearthroatcleatmumblemumblegoodshow" and a bunch of relatives i hadn't seen in years, one of them was my great uncle Ralph, so we find our seats and people start making the rounds at the tables, this i can not bear so i find the bar and go and order a drink when out of nowhere old Great Uncle Ralph appears at my side "Hi there" says Ralph "Hello" i say back, "who are you here with?" he says "Dad and Robin" "Oh no husband?" "Not today, he's at home" "Oh thats good, that means i can spend time with you, maybe we can have a dance later on" "Um what?" "Well you're alone and i'm not married anymore so lets have fun" "You know i'm your niece right? and i swear to god i though he was going to just die, it was so gross and he was also lying--he was indeed still married but his wife was home because she had surgery.

Now i hadn't seen him in a long time but i was an adult last time and he saw me sitting with my Dad and he damn well knows who he was. Worst wedding ever except i won the $50 how long will the happy newlyweds be married for bet we made "they won't last 3 years" and i was right, she cheated on him after a year.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

6. Wow.

That IS creepy. THank GOD I'm taking my husband with me.
Duckie

[Iris]

12. something like that happened to me once

went to a family wedding. Hadn't seen one of my uncles in maybe 10 years. I was about 21 and he hit on me.

Yuck.

[Nikia]

7. One of our family reunions was held at a state park

Where my uncle happened to be employed. He decided to take all of his nieces and nephews and his cousins' children for a nature walk. During that walk, we had a toad urinate in his mouth when he was demonstrating why toads don't taste good to bears. He also almost lost fingers to a snapping turtle.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

8. Sounds like your uncle is just a weirdo....

Harmless. :evilgrin:

[MsKandice01]

9. I love our family reunions...

At the last one, I hung out with some of my older cousins that I hadn't seen since I was about 5 years old and we did looooooots of drinking. It was a lot of fun. One of them is extremely handsome too and if he wasn't my cousin...OMG. I kept reminding myself that we were related but when you haven't seen someone since you were a young child, it's not really at the front of your mind. I could tell he kinda felt the same way about me and after a few too many drinks one night, I came REALLY close to telling him what I was thinking but I'm glad I didn't get the chance to. That would have been a little awkward. I gotta admit though, I'm really hoping he comes to the next one. :)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

14. We had a cousin like that...

I think we all had a crush on him when we were like 5.
Duckie

[Iris]

10. Sorry I don't have anything funny. But I did chuckle out loud at this part of your post:

"And I have to deal with everyone's Alcoholism"

been there, done that.

Good luck. :hug:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

13. Thanks...

That's very sweet.

[texas1928]

11. I just go for the dating scene.

:P

[Lautremont]

15. I have one coming up this summer, also on my mother's side.

Mostly nice folk. One smack addict, a few Al K. Holics, some people whose lives aren't going nearly as they'd expected, and so on. The usual sort of crowd. Not so bad, really. I'm kind of looking forward to it, but if I remember afterwards (and haven't killed too many brain cells), I'll post stories.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

16. I'm going to post tons of pics...

But hell, we all have crazy members of our family...
I'm just afraid mine are going to be crazier than everyone's.
Duckie