This might be the goofiest advice column that ever existed....

[Wetzelbill]

Dear Don: Advice from "The Predator"

Don Frye has beaten up more men, for more money, in more places than you can even spell. Who better to turn to for advice on life, love, and the pursuit of awesomeness? That’s why Don Frye is answering your questions. It’s his way of making the world a better (or at least a more interesting) place.

Disclaimer: Advice given by Don Frye is not guaranteed to improve your life, save your marriage, or keep you out of jail.

Dear Don,

I need a car to get around, but all I can afford to keep is my Mom’s 15-year old Dodge minivan. I know it isn’t the coolest, but it’s all I have. Any suggestions on what I should say when my friends, not to mention girls, give me a hard time about it? Any suggestions on anything I can do to make it look less lame?

Seems to me like there’s really only two ways you can go here, partner. Option A: use what you got and go all the way with it. Don’t try to fool anyone. In fact, go ahead and call attention to it. When you’re talking to a woman, ask her if she wants to go for a ride in your mom’s minivan. No girl’s expecting that, trust me.

You could even slap on a bumper sticker that says, “Soccer Mom”. Really have fun with it. People aren’t going to make fun of you if you’re already making fun of yourself. And you should make fun of yourself, because a man in an old minivan trying to pick up chicks is pretty hilarious.

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