Seeking your advice, please. Help?

[Bertha Venation]

Imagine for a moment: You've been ill and rather blue. Things back home, where all your family is, are in an unhappy state and you long to visit, but can't just now. You're miserable in your job, and although you have love, warmth and happiness at home, you just can't shake the blues. Going out might help but you really just don't feel like it at all.

And it's your birthday on Monday. You have a long weekend to contemplate the ravages of time on your body, and the same on your aging parents back home. But at least it's three days off.

You have a devoted spouse whom you know is dying to treat you so specially, to do something that'll gently blow your socks off, but she really hasn't a clue what she can do for you. If you could get her a subliminal message, what would you have her do?

All suggestions welcome.

[Catfish]

1. Food

always does it for me. Maybe plan a great meal together, do the shopping, buy some flowers, etc. Then just pamper her, have her take a long hot bath, give her a massage and wait on her all weekend and be ready to listen to anything she feels like talking about. She might like talking about the funny and happy times with her family, even if you've heard the stories a hundred times.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

2. A long walk

in silence, just soaking in the natural beauty around you. This always refreshes my spirits. Or, if the weather is inclement, putting on music that promotes a peaceful atmosphere, lighting candles, and just sitting together, holding hands.

[foreigncorrespondent]

3. All I would want...

...is a nice bottle of wine, quiet evening, and a romantic dinner for two at home.

When I had the bout of home sickness when I was in the U.S. I found the best way to help me cope was to just spend time alone with Sapphocrat.

Even just an evening in, curled up on the couch watching some great old flick would help, because I was the arms of the person where my life is.

Hope this helps, hon.

[NicoleM]

4. Need more info.

What birthday is it? What is her sense of humor like? What does she like to do when she's not feeling ill and blue?

When my DH and I were first together, he got me a hardcover edition of my favorite book from when I was a kid. It was very sweet--he cared enough to pay attention to little stuff like that. That is what always makes me happiest. Little stuff that nobody else would know that I like.

[Bertha Venation]

6. more info

52
twisted, irreverent
fine dining out, club music, road trips, fishing (C/R), enjoying nature

Your DH (DH -- ?) sounds like a sweetie. Yes, little things are what I've been thinking of....

[NicoleM]

15. If it's not too cold

how about a picnic? Might be kind of fun in the middle of winter. That's all I've got at the moment. I'll keep thinking. :)

[IronLionZion]

5. a heartfelt phone call to the family

and find the time and willingness to go out and enjoy yourself. Just do it.

[Bertha Venation]

7. here are some plans I already have

* she's going to a spa today for a facial & Swedish massage, and Monday for a manicure/pedicure (kick me -- I waited too late to schedule it so I couldn't get it all done on the same day)

* she wants chicken soup, so there's a bird in the stock pot as we speak

* while she's at the spa, I'm going to clean house (we're both kinda messy, and with her not well and me working & lazy, it's wrecked)

Still hoping for more suggestions. I appreciate very much what everyone's had to say so far.

[blondeatlast]

9. Rent some great videos, make some popcorn, and have a movie night.

My hubby, son, and I do that every so often and it's the nicest times we have, really.

All three of us on the couch, propping each other up as we sequentially fall blissfully to sleep!

It really is a nice, cozy, quiet thing.

Hope things go weel for you and (sorry, forgot her name!)

[Liberal Christian]

10. Add flowers

Do some nice small arrangements of flowers so that there are some in every room, maybe just one or two little blooms in a small vase on the dresser, a bowl on the coffee table, just bright flowers wherever you look.

[Catfish]

11. yes

this always cheers me up. I bought a couple of little pots of primulas. The little blossoms are very cheery.

[lovedems]

8. My sister sent me a funny quote, maybe it will give you a laugh,

for a minute anyway. It made me giggle for about 30 minutes and I felt better for the rest of the day.


Inside me, there's a thin woman crying to get out...
But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.

[REP]

12. Something Low Key

If she's been sick, she may be worn out as well, so something like a nice, relaxed dinner at her favorite place. A relaxed evening of being waited on is always nice, and th expectations of going out for dinner are low enough (have a nice meal, no washing up) that there's no pressure.

Little 'luxury' gifts are also nice - like a new hardcover of her favorite author if she usually waits for the paperback, or an especially fine pen if she's into things like that, or an unusual piece of jewelry if that's her sort of thing.

Is there something she's had her eye on, but hasn't got for some reason, like it not being practical?

On edit: If you're really flummoxed, ask. The knocking off of socks doesn't always need to be a surprise to please!

[Pobeka]

13. Do, nothing -- almost!

Sometimes when I get down and out, it's fun to just go "bug-around" some cool spot, whether in the city, a great national park, whatever. Go where the wind pushes you. Let life come to you for awhile. It can be rejuvenating to feel no pressure to plan the day, but know that things can be just fine with little effort.

Hope you have a great weekend!

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. Subliminal message...take me away someplace quiet, to sit and talk

go over a wonderful life together, hope for the future, and just generally enjoy the moment.

[terrya]

16. If I could send that subliminal message:

I would suggest that she send some flowers to her beautiful spouse at work. With a lovely message inside.

Then I would plan a nice candlelit dinner just for the two of you. With some nice romantic music on the cd player.

Snuggling on the couch later would be a nice touch.

And I would suggest to her that she tell her beautiful spouse how much she loves her. How much she means to her. How life is so much more beautiful with her in her life.

Just my .02

[1monster]

17. Oops... misunderstood the original post!

thus it is deleted

[Bertha Venation]

18. she's at the spa, and the white tornado is taking a break

Thanks again to everyone for your suggestions. I picked up some flowers and have planned a couple of quiet things for the evening based on other suggestions. Thanks again!

PS More suggestions are welcome. It's a long weekend!

[Liberal Christian]

20. How's Flylady going? eom

[Bertha Venation]

21. it was going fine until

I burnt my fingertips reaching into the oven for the pre-heated cookie sheet on which to place the frozen pie. My thumb & forefinger are okay but I am now typing without my left middle finger. And I'm left-handed.

But my too long break is over, and my baby is well worth it all... back to flying!

[scarlet_owl]

19. Get some favorite movies

and watch them in the dark. A nice massage is also a good idea. My birthday is on Monday, too, and I know I would like nothing more than to just be babied and loved at home. But Jim insists on taking me out to dinner, since he can't do it that often. How about a love letter? Or a homemade card? I have every love letter, poem, and card my husband has ever made for me, and they are my cherished possessions. I know that whatever you do, as long as you pour your heart into it, will be appreciated. Good luck and blessings to you both.