How do you handle the late night phone call from a drunk ex-fling?

[NightWatcher]

There is almost nothing as sad as the late night friday call from a drunk fling who may have shared your time, or bed, for only a short time. I got another one of those last night at 3AM. I feel kinda bad. This girl is searching for something. I dont know what, but something and she is looking in all the wrong places. I was decent and simply did not answer. If I would have answered I'd be full of shame this morning.

How do you guys handle this? Ever had it happen? Humor me with your stories.

[datasuspect]

1. it depends on how nutty she was

if she was a stone nut job, i would have told her to come on.

[NightWatcher]

2. thanks datasuspect, she's nuttier than a Snickers bar

[datasuspect]

3. you seem more decent than i am though

you probably did a good thing by not leading her on

[Darth_Kitten]

4. Don't answer, nobody says it's wrong not to answer your phone...

when it rings. :D

[SPKrazy]

5. Not answering is a good choice

engaging her drunken nuttedness will only engender worse times ahead, and encourage her.

or change your number


or bring her over and make the most out of it if that is what you want.

I don't think there is a "way" to talk to her at 3 am and she's drunk that is going to "help" her in some existential way if that is what you are asking.

:shrug:

[DS1]

6. If you didn't pick up the phone, how did you know she was drunk?

:)

[NightWatcher]

7. I listened to the voice mail a minute later

I never know when someone might need help, so I always wait for a voicemail. I'm not coldhearted.

It was most definitely a sobbing drunk dial bordering on bootycall. A fling is one thing, but the accompanying baggage is a bit much on this one.

[skygazer]

8. There are plenty of things that are sadder

I have a lot of compassion for self-destructive people but I also know I'm not really able to do anything for them - especially someone who I have no real ties to.

I don't need to get caught up in casual friends' dramas (I don't really need to get caught up in close friends dramas but sometimes you can't help that).

Don't answer the phone. Don't beat yourself up. Don't take on her issues as somehow being your own.

[S n o w b a l l]

9. The same way I deal with men who do it...

Just don't answer the phone.

But, for some reason, men who do it are just drunk and horny and that's to be expected. Women who do it are psycho basket cases. :eyes:

[BlueIris]

10. I LOVE YOU, ENGI.

[LoZoccolo]

17. I don't think anyone claimed there was a distinction.

If someone did, I'd be curious as to where it is.

[AlCzervik]

11. if someone calls my house at 3:00am and it wasn't to report some sort of tragedy or

a call for bail money i would be pissed. "Are you dead or in jail--no, bye!"

[NightWatcher]

12. I get the late night crazy phone calls and cries for help regularly

it's all part of the job description.

I was just wondering how common the late night drunken booty call was these days.

[Deja Q]

13. Definitely don't handle 'em. The ramifications could be shocking.

:wow:

[hippiechick]

14. Pick up the phone, fumble it a little bit, set it down ...

... and make doinking noises in the background, loud enough so she can hear them and will think you're banging someone else at the moment.

She'll go away. :hi:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

15. dont answer dude. used to happen to me all the time.

[Withywindle]

16. I've been the one making those calls.

You did the right thing. It's better for both of you if you don't answer.