Random thoughts from Ellen DeGeneres

[Michigander4Dean]

You never hear a kid say: "Do you want me to dust the baseboards?"

You never hear a kid say: "I should probably scotch guard that."

Who would ever want to eat something called a "jawbreaker?"

There are people who are born to clean, they love it and god bless them for it.

Who was the first foot fetishist? Probably the old lady who lived in a shoe?

How do lazy people work up the motivation to procrastinate?

I’m assuming the definition of “merge” is not on the driving test.

Butterflies live an average of only 14 to 21 days. About the same time it takes to get a mail-in rebate.

If you can pickle pigs feet, well, then you can pickle anything.

What are you keeping in your refrigerator that you need baking soda in there to absorb the odor?

Do 99-cent stores ever have sales?

They say 85% of statistics are made up on the spot. I think it's more like 96%.

When a waiter tells you it’s a “very hot plate”, why do we then have to touch it?

http://ellen.warnerbros.com/popup/thoughts/01_36.html

www.ellendegeneres.com

[NightTrain]

1. Funny she should mention this....

<<Do 99-cent stores ever have sales?>>

Just a couple of days ago, I drove past a 99-cent store with a big sign in its front window:

ALL 99 CENT ITEMS ON SALE FOR 88 CENTS!

[Michigander4Dean]

2. LOL...n-t