Cat Story #1: The Cat Ejection Seat

[JM]

One day last year, my wife $ called me from work to tell me to take our cat Hobie to PetCo for vaccinations. That afternoon, the boys and I put Hobie into her carrier, and took her to PetCo.

At PetCo, we found ourselves waiting in a long line, directly behind an ENORMOUS Great Dane and another cat. Hobie was pissed. She was growling and hissing up a storm. Mind you, she doesn't like traveling anyway because she assumes she will be going to a vet of some sort.

Meanwhile a tech comes up to us and starts taking our information. She asks us what type of cat Hobie is. I had no idea, so I just said "Scairdy", to which I got a nice blank stare. She put down "domestic house cat". The boys got a kick out of it.

After a short time, it was our turn, so we open the carrier, and couldn't get Hobie out. She was spread-eagle inside. We turned the carrier over to no avail. Meanwhile she was yowling at the top of her lungs. The tech got the elbow-length leather gloves on and a towel, and the vet told us to unscrew the carrier. The tech then held Hobie down while the vet gave the shots. The whole time Hobie was yowling so loudly people were thinking an infant was being murdered in the back of the store.

The vet finished, and then told me not only that Hobie had crapped herself during the ordeal, but they would not help me clean her or the carrier. Now I am had to walk out of the store, already marked as an infanticidal maniac, with and absolutely disgusting smelling whimpering cat in a carrier and two boys laughingly yelling "ewwwww! what stinks!?!?!".

Once home, I figured I somehow had to clean Hobie, but she wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. I finally grabbed her and put her in the utility sink filled with 1 inch of warm water. Hobie went straight up in the air like a shot, scrambled up the side of the washer, and bolted to a secure, undisclosed location, not only disgustingly crappy, but wet and disgustingly crappy.

I promptly called my wife $ and told her we were never going to PetCo again, and any pet doctoring trips would be made my her, not me.

Hobie would not look me in the eye or talk to me for three days.

Later,
JM

[Mikimouse]

1. Consider yourself lucky...

Instead of climbing the washer, mine would have used my arms and chest as their launch pad. Only one of ours (out of four total), really resents going to the vet. But, he makes his irritation known, albeit subtly. when we are in the examining room with him he gets real affectionate, marking both of us, and purring, and nuzzling. All the while he is doing that, he is inching toward the edge of the examining table. I just know that in that warped little cat brain of his, he thinks that if he can get off the table, he will have won by reaching a 'safe' base. One or the other of us always thwarts his efforts however, and when we get home, he usually waits until we are settled and then goes and poops somewhere where the aroma is sure to fill the living room; this cat is a real stinker, too! When his mommy and I first started living together, 5 years ago, we would be awakened from a sound sleep the instant Putzin would use the litter box (we lived in an efficiency at the time), and the scramble would be on to see who would get to the air freshener first; not fun at 3 or 4 in the morning. Our other cat (we only had two then) would just walk away, seemingly shaking his head in disgust.

[NewHampster]

3. Mine came home from 3 months of good old fashioned screwing...

and not only was she knocked up she was the filthiest thing I'd ever seen. All 3 pounds of my tiny little coon cat was hidden under mud and grease from the garage she must have been living in.

My wife and I prepared the tub, had towels ready and closed the bathroom door. We forgot to ask her highness for permission so the second her feet hit the water she twisted free somehow got behind me in an instant and latched on with all four feet to my back.

The cats on my back and I'm screaming and bleeding, what does my wife do? What any good woman would do, me too probably. She was laughing her butt off and took way too long to get off the floor and help me. I have scars to prove it!

I'm lucky 'cause if it happended today I'd have to wait while whe found the digital camera.

[Mikimouse]

5. I can empathize...

Last summer, our daughter and granddaughters were with us for about three weeks, and my oldest granddaughter (8), was watching something on TV, while I was reading. Our youngest cat, Pooky, who has not yet figured out that he does not always have to use his claws to go from place to place, decided to climb into my lap. Unfortunately, he sank his hind claws into my scrotum in the process. Trying to disengage the cat from said area, without making a scene one must then explain to an 8 year old granddaughter is tough enough, without having grandma trying to suppress her laughter in the background.

[NewHampster]

6. Ouch!

[alittlelark]

2. Too FUNNY!!!!!

I have one like that, but not quite so extreme. I would recommend Kitty Quaalude's. That's what I use w/ Silver before he has to go ANYWHERE! You're vet will give him some if you ask.

Good Luck, Gina

[NewHampster]

4. On the same subject

Does anyone have a recomendation for cutting dog nails?

My old springer would let me put a muzzle on but charlie the Brittany is impossible.