How to heckle a baseball pitcher, the JVS way.

[JVS]

1. Sneak into good seats near home plate. The whole thing wont work if you can't get into the field of vision/attention.

2. Scowl and stroke beard

3. Wait for a quiet moment in the game, continue scowling and stroking beard.

4. Shout at pitcher: "Your wife is unfaithful!"

5. Enjoy your well-delivered zinger.

[KitchenWitch]

1. That works for those that have beards!

:rofl:

[JVS]

2. Well, I guess for some there is step 0: grow full beard

[KitchenWitch]

3. I guess I have to buy a paste on one.

[JVS]

5. It will all be worth it when you see his confidence shattered by the suspicion of infidelity

[billyskank]

14. Isn't there some spell or incantation you could use?

:P

[KitchenWitch]

15. I am oathbound to not interfere by using magic in baseball games.

:7

[YDogg]

19. Or, attend the game with your beard.

:-)

[NaturalHigh]

4. I prefer...

shouting to the next batter on deck "quit scratching your nuts, jughead!" Simple, direct, to the point, particularly if the guy is, in fact, scratching his nuts.

[JVS]

6. I have seen an interesting heckling technique for pitchers in the bullpen that involves throwing...

half of a coke at them and running like hell. It really seemed to break his warmup routine.

[NaturalHigh]

8. I'll bet it would be popular on YouTube too.

[RPM]

17. there was no youtube when we did that back in 1990

sweet!

[JVS]

18. WE? Don't get me involved in this. MLB agents could be listening as we speak...

and I hope not to be banned from baseball like Pete Rose

[S n o w b a l l]

7. lame

:boring:

[JVS]

9. It is the understated manner that gets in their head and fucks with them

Obscenity, they've dealt with. This is about delivering a bad message calmly

[S n o w b a l l]

10. I married into a pro baseball family...

that shit doesn't get to them.

[JVS]

12. bummer!

:cry:

[Oeditpus Rex]

11. Infidelity in baseball?

A far bigger problem than steroids, egos and owners combined.

I should think most major leaguers would simply yell back, "Yeah — y'wanna piece of her?"

[JVS]

13. Shit, maybe the coke tossing kid had it right

[BrotherBuzz]

16. Been there, done that, but the pitcher wasn't interested in me

The umpire was having the affair with the pitcher's wife; the batter was stroking his beard, too. :shrug:

[NightWatcher]

20. I had much more fun heckling batters when I played catcher

"your sister is a much better kisser than your mom" was one of my favs.
I even got tossed out of a game for running my mouth.