Do you lie to your children?

[La_Serpiente]

Do you lie to your children? And if so, when is it acceptable to lie?

[madmax]

1. When he asks to borrow money.

:evilgrin:

[La_Serpiente]

2. ooo, you're naughty

:spank:

[VelmaD]

3. Helping to raise my niece

I don't have any kids of my own but I have been helping to raise my 14 year old niece...I've been fortunate to live really close to her her whole life.

My basic philosophy is never to lie to her. My job is to be the adult she can come to with questions that she doesn't think she can ask her parents. She gets the occasional teasing answer but I always make it clear to her that I was teasing and then give her the truth.

Her parents have the exact same philosophy. The thing she has always gotten into the most trouble for is when she lies and if we're gonna hold her to that kind of standard then we owe it to her to be honest too.

Plus she's a teenager now. They have pretty good bullshit detectors. And the questions now are much more important and while the truth may be difficult it's the best way to have a real conversation with her about important subjects like sex and drugs and love and life.

[midnight armadillo]

4. No

But then again he's only 4 months old and he hasn't really figured out the whole language thing yet...

[rfranklin]

5. Yes...

I told her that I was going to call Mickey and cancel the Disney World trip if she didn't get into bed by 8 p.m.

It worked.

[lovedems]

7. Yeah, those are my kinds of lies. We have 4 boys and our big

christmas lie is, "if you don't behave, santa will bring you a barbie for christmas." Those are fighting words for our boys who are in to skateboards, bmx, funk music, and karate. Not to worry, they do have some of those "beanie kids" so they do have some "dolls".

Other than that, my tolerance for lying is nil and I can't get my kids to appreciate the truth I am not willing to be honest with them. They never get in trouble for telling the truth. If they commit a punishable act and lie, they get in more trouble for lying to me than they do the punishable act.

[silverlib]

6. Absolutely not...

Sometimes I whitewash stuff that I don't think she is ready to hear, but I never lie. My youngest, and the only one at home, is fourteen and she would never forgive me if I did. It's not easy sometimes. She's actually my step granddaughter, but she knows I birthed her in my soul. The answers to her questions are sometimes really difficult, as they involve a lot of pain. If she can't trust me, then I think she would be lost.

[notadmblnd]

8. I tell mine horrendous lies

I told my son we had another little boy before him and when he misbehaved we got rid of him. I tell them that I don't have to beat their butts, cause they'll beat their own (this is true by the way). When they want something or they have done something wrong, I make them get down on their knees and bow before my majesty. I tell them when they grow up, I'll go to the store with them and throw a fit when they wont buy me what I want.

They mostly just laugh at me except for the one about beating their own butts. Their sweet little faces have smacked into the rough wall of reality on that one one too many times to know thats not a lie.

I've told my children that just because I've never struck them, does'nt mean that there cant be a first time (I never would but ya gotta keep them guessing).

My discussion with my son when he was seven should have been video taped. I explained the male and female genitals to him, drew the pictures and explained how everything worked to make a baby. At one point there was a pause in our conversation, I asked him if he wanted to know more. He said "No mom, I think I heard enough".

He's ten now and today he made me so proud, we were at the paint counter in Home Depot today and he found a hundred dollar bill. Without hesitating, He told the man at the counter and turned it in. The woman it belonged to happened into line behind us, she had three little ones, we could tell that a hundred dollars meant a lot to them. We did'nt say anything to them about finding it, we just smiled at each other and left.

[trof]

15. Damn! Y'all are my kind of people.

And funny too.
Good on ya.

[calimary]

18. I have a version of that "my majesty" schtick.

My kids have known for a long time that it MIGHT work if they address me as, or ask me with, the phrase "oh mother, my queen."

Then I lost it one day when one of my son's friends sweet-talked HIS mom with "oh mother, my queen." I still laugh about that one! And yes. I AM the queen.

[Pithlet]

19. I love it!

I may just have to incorporate something like it, myself.

[Bill McBlueState]

9. does Santa Claus count?

We'll probably be having kids in the next few years.

We're sort of torn about the Santa Claus thing -- although if it means never having to stand in a two-hour line at the mall, I'll gladly tell them the truth about Santa a.s.a.p. ;)

[notadmblnd]

10. when mine asked if there was reall a tooth fairy..

he suspected it was his father. I told him I would tell him, but if he knew the truth, the tooth fairy would never come again. He chose to believe just a little while longer.

[Mrs. Venation]

11. I Never Had Children Of My Own, But

I helped my brother to raise his two. I told them when they were little that they could come to me at any time, talk about anything, and ask me any questions they had and I'd tell them the truth and I wouldn't get mad that they asked. I told them if they ever wanted to try anything, as long as it wasn't illegal drugs, to let me know and we'd work it out.

When my niece was about 12 years old she asked me "what's anal sex?" I took a deep breath and told her, as delicately as I could, the truth about the act. She said, "okay. Thanks." I never knew if she asked because she really wanted to know, or if she was testing me.

I used to tell tall tales to her brother, thinking he would know they were just stories. When he was about 8 years old I told him if he closed his eyes when he sneezed that it would kill him. About six months later I saw him sneeze and try to keep his eyes open. I had forgotten about telling him the tale, so I asked him what he was doing. He reminded me I told him he'd die if he closed his eyes; I felt so bad I thought I'd die. I took him in my arms and told him I had just been joking with him. He was really hurt by that, and I never did it to him again.

[DEM FAN]

12. I Don't Have Children. And Thats No Lie.

;-)

[ScreamingMeemie]

13. No, because I expect them not to lie to me. If I make a promise

I do my best to keep it...even if it happens later on. That's why I don't promise too much. :) If we teach our kids by example that lying is okay, we set ourselves up for many more problems as they grow. :hi:

[haele]

14. No - their own logic system allows them to figure out if you're lying...

The only thing anywhere close to a lie that might be somewhat successful would be a lie by ommission - similar to the "'cause I said so" answer to the perennial "why can't I?" question or feigned ignorance.
A lot of times, you can depend on children forgetting a statement or situation that they don't have an interest in, but if it's something that could end up bad for you("but you saaaid!") and/or good for them, they'll never forget.

'sides, it's hypocritical to lie when trying to teach the children not to "exaggerate" reality as it is.

Haele
(Who deals with this problem on a daily basis...)

[LWolf]

16. Never.

If we can't trust each other to tell the truth, why bother with pretending to be "family?"

If I want them to be honest with me, I'd better show them how.

My boys are 24 and 26 now. It's worked well so far.

Oops, make that "almost never." We did do Santa, the Easterbunny, and the tooth fairy. I let them believe as long as they wanted to. They chose to believe long after they knew better; they didn't want to leave "make-believe" behind.

[arwalden]

17. Reminds Me Of The FAR SIDE Cartoon...

... we see a cross-section view of a two story house and the father is in the child's bedroom encouraging them to stay in bed and go to sleep.

The dad is saying "Behave yourself or do I need to stomp my feet to wake up the floating monster head of death".

In the cutaway view of the house, we also see the mother downstairs holding a with a helium baloon on a string just outside the height of the child's bedroom window.

On the balloon is a mean monster face with a devilish fanged grin and furrowed eyebrows.

-- Allen

Well, that's how I remember seeing it. Anyone else remember that one?

[qwertyMike]

20. I use the 'double standard'

Whne they ask what that is I tell them - "I feed you, clothe you, house you and most of all I'm BIGGER than you"

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

21. Of course. everyone does. Even those who deny it, they are

only lying to themselves.

If we told them the truth, it would be cataclysmic to their poor minds.

You can't tell them everything all at once, you have to gloss over things until they can deal with them.

Try explaining how some people have everything and some have nothing to a 4-year old honestly. you can't do it.