Every feel completely overwhelmed by someone's personality?

[Critters2]

I've been asked to lead this event along with a person who is so loud and OUT THERE that no one will even know I'm in the room. The organizers said "We know she's an extrovert, and a really powerful personality, but we won't let her take over." Me: You can't keep that from happening.

They say they want my expertise, but I know I'll just fade into the woodwork. It is just the nature of things. I said I'd do it, but now I'm thinking of backing out. Why fight it?

At least I know the people in charge see this as a potential problem, it's not just me. But why should I waste my time?

Have you ever felt this way about anyone?

[femmocrat]

1. I've always been a second banana, so....

I would probably go and keep my mouth shut if it was work-related. I would just let the other person look like a boor.

If it wasn't for work, I wouldn't bother.

[Critters2]

2. It's a judicatory thing, so it's sort of professional,

but not obligatory. I think I will end up backing out. It's in August, so I still have time. But thanks for letting me know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

3. I'm currently helping to organize our HS reunion.

And one of my friends that I've know since birth is one of those people. She's so freaked about being left out, she's getting over bearing and it's really getting annoying. She's put herself in charge of stuff she shouldn't be in charge of because she's just really bad at it, but apparently she didn't get that memo. It's embarrassing, and I swear I can't quit, because if I do, some people are going to be left out.
So I feel your pain. I'm right there with ya.
Duckie

[pitohui]

4. yeah why put yourself thru it?

i'd bow out and leave it to the extrovert, having to do all the work is only fair reward for their desire to be the constant center of attention

[Critters2]

5. I'm leaning in that direction. nt

[Norrin Radd]

6. Use some quotes from the original Willy Wonka film.

Wonka's replies to one or more of the children (I can't recall which, though I think it might have been Mike Teevee and Violet Beauregard) when they were being obnoxious:

"I'm a trifle deaf in this ear, you will have to speak a little louder next time."

"You should open your mouth a little wider when you speak."

[Maraya1969]

7. I learn from interviewers who know how to cut off a wind bag. They just

find the right opening and jump in with something else.

One specific person came to mind when I read your post and that didn't seem to work with her. She had much more energy to fight for top dog.

Or you could talk her aside and tell her she is acting like an ass.

[kwassa]

8. I wouldn't participate, either.

"we won't let her take over": famous last words.

When I have to be around someone like that in real life, I just let them talk and talk and talk until they run out of steam. I say nothing that allows the conversation to resume, not even "uh-huh" or nodding as they talk, or whatever. When they finally come to a halt, and after several moments of silence, I will change the subject. They usually become conscious of their behavior at that point.

[El Fuego]

9. Yes, and I hate being around people like that.

They have to make EVERYTHING all about THEM all the time. And, they think they're doing everyone a favor by making everything All About Them, because in their minds, what could possibly be better than that?

[Critters2]

10. That's the worst part....

This woman really thinks everyone finds her interesting and creative and well, inspired!! It never crosses her mind that anyone might find her obnoxious. She really thinks that everything being about her is a good thing!!

[Patiod]

11. Let me take a different tack

Do you know her? Well enough to sit down and talk to her? Is it possible, or would it be productive to tell her (basically) that you have very different styles, and as an introvert, you're sometimes overwhelmed by people with a different style - outgoing and extroverted folks like her (keeping the words very positive - and I think "outgoing" is a positive word). Could you tell her that you both would bring different and valuable skill sets to this event, but that you've seen in the past that I sometimes you find that your contributions get lost with someone who's communication style is so different, and that you are concerned about your quieter voice being completely overwhelmed. This might be hopelessly naive, but it might be worth a shot, I don't know - just throwing it out there.

I interview doctors for a living, and recently had one that, during a 90-minute interview, sucked my energy like a vampire going after blood. I was EXHAUSTED from trying to keep her under control/going the right direction. She seemed like she was "doctor to the stars" in her particular city, very attractive, but with a very wild energy bordering on mania. So that's always an issue as well - is she going to suck up way to much of your energy trying to keep things going in a forward direction?