I need a good excuse to murder a panda...which should I use?

[slj0101]

I've always wanted to kill an endangered species for my own bloodlust. What excuse should I use to hide my agenda? The attacking my cat thing's already been taken.

[Zuiderelle]

1. Because it eats too much bamboo.

[LynneSin]

3. Magic Rat's home has been invaded by Bamboo - drop the panda off there

:shrug:

[datasuspect]

2. if it bleeds, you can kill it

[nickgutierrez]

4. "I was hungry."

Or, "He's coming right for us!"

[pagerbear]

5. It knows too much.

[mikeytherat]

6. "The Panda knows why."

mikey_the_rat

[LeftyMom]

7. They're going extinct anyway.

:shrug:

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

8. Need a new rug?

well, I mean IF you need a reason. Some pandas just need killing.

[Richardo]

9. "He needed killin'."

That always works in Texas.

[datasuspect]

10. "mister, i studied on killin it"

[Shell Beau]

11. This is kind of mean! I am pretty sure that isn't at all what that

poster meant. He just wanted to protect his cat! Jeez...

[slj0101]

13. You're sarcasm detector's broken, isn't it?

There I go again. :)

[Shell Beau]

29. Oh!! Sorry!

You know me! Duh!!


:)

[RedStateShame]

12. You're Tyler Durden

I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.

[rug]

14. The one on the left is doing cocaine.

[Sanity Claws]

27. They're practicing the fife

[ET Awful]

15. It was dark, I was drunk and it was delicious

Sorry to ruin your scoop colbert_killed_a_panda.com


Ted Hitler :P

[underpants]

16. To Quote Major General James Mattis:

"Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet."

"The first time you blow someone away is not an insignificant event. That said, there are some assholes in the world that just need to be shot. There are hunters and there are victims. By your discipline, you will decide if you are a hunter or a victim."

"I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes, if you fuck with me, I'll kill you all."

from "Fiasco" by Thomas Ricks
http://armchairgeneralist.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/08/gen_mattis_and_.html

[Adsos Letter]

17. well then...um...how can we help you? n/t

[JoePhilly]

18. Black or white, pick a color and Stick with it! nt

[JoePhilly]

19. Works for Zebras too. nt

[MrScorpio]

20. "The Panda asked for it"

That should do it

[formerrepuke]

21. Anything on the verge of extinction that refuses to eat properly or fornicate enough

has it coming.......stupid, lazy animals.

[Adsos Letter]

22. They're Chinese...

fight them now before we have to fight them later...

[Richard Steele]

23. Just plant a knife on him, and claim it was self defense.

The police won't even question your story.

[northzax]

25. you have to make sure, first

that it is a majority black panda to do this.

[Richard Steele]

30. I didn't think I even needed to mention that. Goes without saying. nm

[Esra Star]

24. "I thought he was going for a gun, how could I possibly know it

was only a........

[Esra Star]

26. "In the satellite photos they looked like WMD."

[Blue-Jay]

28. Pandas suck.

[Lyric]

31. You have a terrible disease and only the fresh meat of a panda

can save you? :shrug: