Know any good Jokes?

[BlueJazz]

A San Fransisco trolley Conductor had severe anger problems...He was always being rude to passengers and was a total jerk.

One day a lady gets on the Trolley and gives the conductor a hard time.
He goes nuts and Kills her...He's sentenced to the electric chair.

He's marched into the execution room, tied to the chair, the switch is pulled..
..Nothing happens!
They tighten the chair's contacts up and try again....Nothing happens!
They try the THIRD time...nothing happens..

The law in that state says that if a person is not executed after 3 tries, they go free.

As the Guy is coming out of prison he's greeted by a slew of reporters.
One asks:"what do you attribute to your not being electrocuted??

The Guy says: Well, I always was a lousy Conductor.

[KamaAina]

1. So Defense Secretary Gates is giving the pResident his daily war briefing...

..wait, how'd that one go again? :P

[querelle]

2. What Is The Hardest Part Of A Vegetable To Eat?

Wheelchair.........

Q

[Jed Dilligan]

3. Scatology alert....

Hear about the skidmark that left the toilet?

Yeah, I guess it got pissed off...

[cloudbase]

4. Why aren't Junior League women into group sex?

Too many thank you notes to write.

[Jed Dilligan]

5. Hear about the owl that married the goat?

They had a hootenanny.

[pagerbear]

6. Why don't Baptists do it standing up?

God might think they're dancing.