Worst protest song that can ever be made

[jmowreader]

The contest is closed. No more entries can ever be accepted. Never.

The shittiest protest song that can ever be made is "Crazy" by Simple Plan. The asshole who programs our Muzak at work loves this fucking thing. All it is, is a long laundry list of all the shit the so-called singer doesn't like.

If the guy wanted to put a protest song on our PA, how about a good one like...let's see...they can't play "Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm Of The War Drums" by A Perfect Circle because the paratroopers would shit bricks, they can't play "The Idiot Son of an Asshole" by NOFX for obvious reasons...how about "Prison Song" by System of a Down?

[Okiojira]

1. "Hempfest Arrest" by a glorified hippie jugband outfit calling themselves Lifeblood

circa 1997. Several friends and I were writing blurbs for a host of bands playing at a local music festival/showcase we were involved with, which entailed culling through several hundred promo packages containing band bios and demo tapes/CDs, listening to one or two songs by each act and writing a short paragraph describing each act's sound/milieu.

Lifeblood's bio made a big deal of mentioning their song "Hempfest Arrest", written, so they claimed, about a band member's run-in with the law at said 'fest. Apparently, this individual was busted for smoking a joint at the fest, which was held in close proximity to the town courthouse; he got all pissed off about it and wrote "Hempfest Arrest" in protest.

Now, to our minds, the obvious reaction to this person's "plight" was, "WELL, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EXPECT WOULD HAPPEN WHEN YOU SMOKE A JOINT IN FRONT OF THE TOWN COURTHOUSE, DUMBASS?!?" But the song itself was the real capper (I really wish I could find a YouTube link or something!!!).

How do I describe it: a goofy jugband stomp interspersed with repetitious "choruses" in which the arrested band member mutters in a monotone, "Here a pig, there a pig, everywhere a pig, pig." As if this were some blindingly revelatory socio-political insight. The funniest part of this experience was when, after enduring this for seemingly....well, EVER(!), one of my friends, who's monitoring the CD player that this dreckfest is playing through, asks the rest of us, "So, how many minutes do you think this song has been playing?" Turns out, it had been on for roughly a minute and a half, but it was just so completely, unbearably stupid that it seemed to us as if it had been playing much, much longer!

Maybe you had to be there. It certainly left an impression on me, though by no means a favorable one! We joked about it for a long time afterward...