Weirdest Lecture in College

[Turbineguy]

I'll go first.

While on a training cruise the day before arriving in Panama (1972):

How to find a good bar to drink in. Look for round tables. If a fight breaks out you can set the table on edge and using the table as a shield roll your way toward the exit.

[Nickster]

1. That's actually a pretty good idea. Surprised I never thought of it.

[Taverner]

2. Can I use a Peace Corps one?

"The Evil Wat Dogs of Dusit: How to deal with Thai dogs"

Honestly, we spent 2 hours one day going over this. And the kicker is it was actually pretty fucking useful.

[evlbstrd]

3. In painting studio:

Professor sez: "Here's the rule: the asshole is the bottom of the body!"

edited to spell "asshole" correctly.

[graywarrior]

5. Life drawing class: "Notice the model has placed a mirror between his feet. You do not need to

include that in your rendering."

[evlbstrd]

9. What was the purpose of the mirror?

Nut warmer?

[graywarrior]

11. He liked gazing upon his hanging jewels.

We had complete wierdo's for models in art school. One model showed up wearing a sanitary napkin. We were all stoner's, so we just sat and sketched.

[evlbstrd]

14. I guess I got lucky.

Some of our models were actually good models.

[MilesColtrane]

4. Didn't learn this at a lecture.

It's another barfight tip.
If you ever need to defend yourself with a broken beer bottle, break it on the bar with an upward motion. If you break it like they do in the movies you'll cut the hell out of yourself.

The weirdest lecture I got was from a rabid right wing political science teacher. He spent about an hour on how Communists coordinated with Bob Dylan and The Beatles to disseminate the anti-war message to America's youth.

There was a rumor going around at the time that this prof was a former CIA guy.
About 9 years after I graduated his body was found near some train tracks on the wrong side of town. I don't know if they've ever arrested a suspect for his murder.

True story.

[Decruiter]

20. Commie hippies killed him

[hedgehog]

6. Best advice from a gym teacher - this was in a college self defense course-

Q. Which move would you use if you get in a bar fight?

A. The best move is to stay out of that kind of bar!

[hedgehog]

7. Back in 1972, the lecturer in Music Appreciation refused to tell us

the original meaning of the word "jazz" as it was too dirty. I still don't know. It's been an amusing meditation ever since.

Also, in 1973, when the lecturer in Art History flashed some slides of Greek urns on the screen, it was educational in more ways than one. "What are those people doing?.....OMG!"


Those were much more Innocent days. Oddly enough, we all figured out how to have sex without watching explicit scenes on TV or in films.

[JohnLocke]

16. ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_the_word_jazz

[hedgehog]

29. I would tend to go with the French "jasser" to chat as the origin

with the more sexual connotations added later as folk entomology.

[EstimatedProphet]

8. Ant mind control lecture

In my helminthology class (study of trematode and nematode parasites) I found out about Dicrocoeleum dendrtitcum, a trematode (fluke) parasite which has a really cool way of moving into it's terminal host. It infects snails for its first stage, and leaves the snail to be eaten by ants for the second stage. It then migrates to the ant's brain, where it encycts inside the ganglion. The ant in effect goes mad. The ant then climbs a blade of grass during the evening, where the parasite forces it to bite down on the grass and lock its jaws. It remains unable to move until morning or until it is eaten by a cow. The parasite has actually developed a method of mind control for ants in order to complete its life cycle.

[XemaSab]

17. My marine biology teacher... and my botany teacher... and my zoology teacher

were preverts.

If you get ONE THING from this class, it's that barnacles have the longest penises in the animal kingdom/that horsetails, ferns, cycads, mosses and many other plants have swimming sperm/that anuses took a VERY long time to evolve and we're lucky we don't poop through our mouths, furthermore, we're EXTRA lucky our anuses aren't RIGHT NEXT TO our mouths. :P

[EstimatedProphet]

18. Oh yeah, that reminds me - my plant tax teacher had the hots for Linneaus

Seriously. She'd shiver a little bit when she mentioned his name, and her voice would quiver. Must suck to have your dream lover die 200 years before you are born.

[BrotherBuzz]

10. Anthropology lecture

After a boring lecture on an unrelated aspect of physical anthropology, my professor suddenly stated that while mating, humans can shift from any sexual position to another without uncoupling. After many years of practicing, I haven't been able to disprove his statement.

[Tikki]

12. On the last day of a Speech class....

instructor says,"You might as well have waited to show up until today, because all I really want you to
learn from this class is...'When they tell you they've found Elvis' guitar on the Moon, I want
you to make them prove it'.."



Tikki

[Nikia]

13. We had a discussion about women wearing white in feminine hygeine commercials

During an anthropology class. The subject that prompted the discussion was menstral taboos.
One of the funniest things that a professor said was "I don't know why I am preaching a sermon to all of you. I am an agnosistic." after extensively explaining the Russian Orthodox view of sin and salvation during a Russian literature class. His explanation really did sound like a moving sermon.

[Redneck Socialist]

15. Volcanoes are mother nature's vagina

or something like that. Seriously weird geology prof. People who didn't even take his classes would sit in just for the sheer weirdness.

[noamnety]

19. Business Russian class

During contract negotiations, seat yourself by a potted plant. (to dump your vodka into, so you don't get too drunk to negotiate a good deal)

[fortyfeetunder]

21. What not to say in a dialect

Was fortunate to have native speakers in a language class. One of them was quite explicit on what "not to say" in certain neighborhoods... No cuss words, but certain combinations of words had other connotations....

[Matariki]

22. Design class, stoned(?) teacher:

"couldn't we say (long pause), that (long pause, trip to one of mar's moons), a triangle (pause) is like (long out of body experience) a three sided square. ? (?)"

[DemoTex]

23. Physics: "Heaven is hotter than hell."

Professor used Biblical scripture and thermodynamics to prove that heaven is hotter than hell. Some of the hard-shell fundies walked out of the classroom.

[Syrinx]

24. not really a lecture, but we watched porn one day

It was a media law class, and students were asked to bring in "questionable" examples of free expression, or some such thing. My presentation was about some Slayer songs. It didn't even occur to me to bring in porn videos, but it did to a number of other students. It was a very odd experience to watch hardcore pornography with about seventy or eighty other students AND the professor.

[TrogL]

25. Chem 20 first lecture

Ok, here's how to make a bomb. All you potential bomb makers can drop out now.

OK, here's how to make crystal meth. Everybody trying to set up a drug lab can go away happy.

Ok, as for the rest of you....

[Evoman]

26. During a biochemistry class.

My prof was talking about hormones and steroids, and then he started talking about a hormone that "Gives a women that aesthetically pleasing shape" and he proceeded to make the outline of a women with his hands, who apparently has large tits and a big behind!

[Missy Vixen]

27. I can't even remember what the class was called

I had some winners. After all, I was at Bible college.

One of my male professors launched into an impassioned defense of women marrying men at least four years younger than themselves. Since men don't have the life expectancy women do, women don't have to spend as many years alone, etcetera. I didn't think I took his advice to heart, but my husband is four and a half years younger than I am...

Julie

[TZ]

28. Talking about birds and monogamy in an Ecology+Evolution clas

the professor led off his example of a type of bird found in Britain by saying "Great tits come in pairs".......:rofl:
After about 10 minutes of both students and TA's just howling he actually did an interesting lecture. He did swear that the choice of words were unfortunate, and possibly that was true, but still thats the funniest and I guess weirdest lecture I have ever had...

[mitchum]

30. A history professor telling how he was forced into Hitler Youth in the last...

days of the war

[Orsino]

31. Bioethics: "Can a Tree Have Standing?"

Fascinating stuff.

[InternalDialogue]

32. "The man IS the chair!"

Some interactive art class, part appreciation, part hands-on projects, entirely unstructured.

Near the beginning of the semester, our way-out instructor showed slides of modern art and semi-usable mid-century furniture. One was a chair formed from a sculpture of a human sitting on a chair, shaped so that to sit down, you'd sit in the person's lap.

He was totally giddy about that sculpture -- "Do you see? The man IS the chair!"

[BlueIris]

33. Probably that time in one of my Native American writers lectures when a fellow student lit

a $20 bill on fire to protest the fact that U.S. currency even existed, as it was, in his opinion, the most offensive evidence of the extermination of indigenous peoples by white settlers. Which, well, maybe it is. It was just a little strange to see someone protest it in that manner (not to mention hazardous, as it was an indoor lecture room). Our prof, a Blackfoot, was like, "Uh, kid? Point taken. Please put that out before the sprinklers come on."