Tell me what the proper response is to this social situation.

[XemaSab]

So I called my ex-bf who I last spoke with a month ago.

He told me not to call him ever again because he's feeling constantly harassed by my phone calls and he's really tired of listening to my one-sided monologues.

He then asked why I called him.

I said that I was sort of taken aback by what he was saying and it didn't matter why I called him.

He than said it seemed like I wasn't getting it and he REALLY didn't want me to call him ever again.

He then said if I wanted to talk about it I was welcome to call him in four months.

So Lounge, what should I have said in response to this? :shrug:

[wildhorses]

1. there is no response to that ---

leave him alone.

sorry,,,he is a jack ass and you don't need his advice anyway

:hug:

[XemaSab]

4. I don't remember *exactly* what I said,

but the key word in the phrase was "bullshit."

I knew he was a jerk 4 1/2 years ago, and it just took some affirming. I mean, WTF?

Thanks for the :hug:

[Hugin]

42. Seconded.

Good sound advice there wildhorses.

[Lex]

2. Maybe

"Fine, asshole."

[pagerbear]

3. Well, why did you call him?

If it was just to chat, you've got your answer--looks like he doesn't want that.

[XemaSab]

5. Except in 4 months

:eyes:

[Ptah]

6. My first thought, Xema is

to find other stamens.



Did I say that out loud?

[Nicole]

7. My response would be hang up & lose the number. n/t

[Oeditpus Rex]

8. 'Goodbye, asshole'

[lildreamer316]

9. Excuse me for a moment.

FUCKTHATSONOFABTICH.


back to your regular normal programming.

[Maddy McCall]

10. "Buh Bye, Shitbrick"

[Blue-Jay]

22. YAY!

[petronius]

11. You say "damn, you really are an incredible shit-sack, aren't you?"

Then you hang up and never call him again.

The guy may be an asshole but the message is clear - he doesn't want to talk to you. So, you need to move on...

[XemaSab]

12. Oh, and the KICKER is I broke up with him

because he was a little stalker-ish and it was creeping me out. :P

[EstimatedProphet]

46. Then my guess is that he still has hurt feelings

Maybe he's a prick too. Dunno. The only answer for any of those things is to not call him again, so it would seem to me.

[evlbstrd]

13. I, too, am curious.

Why did you call him in the first place? It seems you have many reasons not to call him.

[begin_within]

14. If I were you, I wouldn't speak to him again, ever, for any reason.

If you keep going back to him, you're just going to get more of that. Is that what you want out of life? There are millions of other men who you could meet and who would treat you the way you want to be treated. My advice is to just get him out of your life completely and don't talk to him any more, period. Even if he calls you, don't talk to him. Forget the "four months" thing. That's just a game he's playing. Just let go of him and move on. It's painful to let go of someone, yes, but that pain is only temporary and it has a purpose. Hanging on to him in any way, no matter how tiny, is only leaving yourself open to more pain, confusion and sadness, which will go on forever as long as you stay in it. Just get out, let go of him, grieve the loss, move on, and free yourself for something much, much better than this to happen in your life.

[XemaSab]

17. Oh, I'm not going to call him, he's an asshole

I just started this thread to try to distill the perfect combination of expletives to use in future. :hi:

[begin_within]

18. Even put a note on your phone for a while, saying "Do not call him." Just say to yourself,

any time you feel tempted or nostalgic, or are thinking about the "good times" you had with him - say to yourself, "What could possibly happen that is good for me?" And the answer will be "nothing good can possibly happen" and that will help you get through those moments when you think about him or are tempted to contact him or even spend time thinking about him. Those moments come and go, especially when something triggers a memory of him, but eventually they won't come as often. Make a "crime sheet" of all the shitty things he did, and refer to that whenever you start thinking of his good qualities. You should have no contact with him whatsoever.
(stepping down off my soapbox)

[XemaSab]

19. He's an asshole

I HATED him for YEARS, and earlier this year I was like, okay, hatred is bad and puerile, so I called him up.

4 months later I'm sitting here like maybe hatred isn't so puerile after all. :P

[begin_within]

24. Hate binds you to him. The Buddhists say that hate binds you emotionally to the

object of your hatred. So getting rid of the hatred is good for you. The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. The goal for you is to feel completely indifferent about him. To not care what happens to him or whether you ever see him again. It may take a while to get to that point. But one day you will just say, "who cares," and it will be authentic. You truly won't care. That's where you want to get to. That whole relationship will be reduced down to a minor footnote on one page of a 20,000-page book. You will never totally, completely forget that he exists, as if you had never met him, but it will slowly and gradually reduce down to the point where it means nothing, he means nothing, there is no emotional response in you, the whole thing has reduced down to the significance of one tiny drop of ink on one book in China somebody wrote 700 years ago, and has no meaning or relevance to you and your life now. It takes time to get to that point, though, it won't happen overnight. If the thought of him comes to you, visualize him getting smaller and smaller each time that thought comes, and fading away a little each time. Eventually he will mean nothing.

[HEyHEY]

29. Are you bound emotionally to that hawk?

;-)

[begin_within]

31. That's creepy that you would bring that up. It's like you're stalking me.

Makes me not want to come to this web site, if people are going to record what I type and bring it up in an unrelated post like some kind of cross-examination. But no, to answer your inquiring mind, the hawk is afraid of me now. After having a rock thrown in its direction twice, the hawk now flees at the mere sight of me. So I don't hate it because I don't think it's going to ever come into the yard again.

[HEyHEY]

41. It's was a joke, you fucking hoser

Holy shit, I happened to remember your situation from what was a popular topic and made a joke about it and now you call me a creep and shit? Get a fucking grip, man.

[begin_within]

44. I said "it's creepy," not "you're a creep." And it is creepy that you're keeping tabs on me.

[HEyHEY]

49. I'm not keeping "tabs" on you

I just happened to remember something. What's creepy is that you're so self-absorb you think I would waste my time tracking you.

[raccoon]

35. Hatred is another way of holding on to somebody.

I didn't know that for a long time.

[hfojvt]

30. I think 'good-bye says it all'

even though it is shorthand for 'god be with ye'.

and if you ever need somebody to talk to, my number is 913-...

[Maestro]

15. There is really no response

but leave him be. Don't mess with him any more. He's sending huge mixed signals and the timeline thing is a bunch of bovine excrement.

[KG]

16. take a hint here. say good-bye and leave him alone. forever.

[LeftyMom]

20. "Okay, bye." Hang up. Get a beer.

He doesn't know what he wants, he's clearly got issues, and there's no point wasting your time.

[XemaSab]

21. Well obviously

He said at least three things that were contradictory and made NO sense.

Never call me again. Except in four months. :crazy:

[Blue-Jay]

23. Kick him in the taint.

[FloridaJudy]

25. Tell him you'll pray for him.

That usually shuts up jerks really fast. While he's still cod-swalloped, hang up.

Then go for a run/make a root-beer float/play with a puppy/meditate with a singing bowl/whatever lights your life.
And don't call him again.

[hunter]

26. There's only one prize in a box of crazy.

If you don't like it, don't go digging for more.

:hi:

[REP]

28. Nail + Hammer = Hit

Perfect.

[XemaSab]

39. ROFL!!!!

Awesome! :D

[HEyHEY]

27. It all depends on you......

As posted yesterday, I recently was on the other side of such a situation. In my case the woman was just being an idiot. But, in your case, if he said call in four months, it's probably just that he wants to feel free and clear of the situation for a while to get his had back. I'd say, wait the four months. It may hurt... but you'll have to... if you wanna call after that, then call.

[XemaSab]

40. I'm not going to call him

We broke up 5 years ago, and I hadn't spoken to him in 4 years when I called him a few months ago.

He's a crazy fucker is what's going on here.

[kwassa]

32. There was a great cartoon

and I wish I could lay my hands on it, but I can't.

Two young women sitting on a park bench, one complaining to the other:

"My ex-boyfriend just doesn't understand me."

____________________________________________________

well, I thought it was funny.

The only way to break up is to make the break, and keep it broken. It was broken before you split, nothing will put it back, and you can't move on in life until you leave this relationship in the dust.

Don't call him again. Ever. Move on.

[Zuiderelle]

33. The proper response is to say nothing and hang up the phone

and never call again.

[Rabrrrrrr]

34. The response is "Okay", and then end the convesation.

He made his wishes known. Respect those wishes.

[pagerbear]

36. Words a friend and trusted advisor gave me long ago:

"Don't dial pain."

[dembotoz]

37. bye says it all

whole thing does not sound healthy for you.
I tend to do things not healthy for me and i generally regret them

[Lydia Leftcoast]

38. Let me repeat what others have said:

Do not call him.

If you dumped him because you realized his failings, why did you call him?

Are YOU the one playing games?

[philosophie_en_rose]

43. "You obviously need some space. Bye."

I wouldn't call someone again, if they said those things to me. He clearly needs space and doesn't appreciate contact from you.

[AngryAmish]

45. Say "I don't drink with you."

[leftofthedial]

47. this one time? at band camp?

I was like all, you know, minding my own business? And this other kid was like, you know, all in someone's face about something that . . .

or

Click.

[Shell Beau]

48. Goodbye for good!

It seems he doesn't really want to talk to you! As confusing as it may sound, I'd stay away and not ever call him again!