I am in love

[MissHoneychurch]

and I am scared as hell that it - again - will be a failure. He seems to care about me like I care about him. But still I am scared. I've been hurt too many times. I am 32 years old. I know who I am and what I want. How is it that I can be confident in my professional life but feeling insecure like a 16 year old when it comes to my love life?

[kwassa]

1. Love does that to you.

Or at least the initial infatuation stage does. All kinds of wild chemicals racing through the blood stream, all kinds of contrasting and intense feelings.

Just hang on, it will be all right.

[MissHoneychurch]

6. Tell me about it ....

not able to concentrate on work, not hungry, scared he doesn't want me anymore if I don't hear from him every 10 minutes ..... and the moment he calls or is around me I am a happy shiny people

[Tyler Durden]

2. Those are the rules.

The brain will turn to cream cheese, and the ego will curl up into a ball in a corner and whimper.

On the other hand, good on you and be brave.

[MissHoneychurch]

3. Thank you

the image you drew made me smile. Thank you for that too.

[Guava Jelly]

4. I am happy for you.

:woohoo:
I hope this is Mr right :)
You deserve to be in love :hi:

[MissHoneychurch]

7. Thanks GoP

I hope he proves to be what he seems to be. He doesn't have to be Mr. Right, just someone who makes me whole.

[Tyler Durden]

8. You already ARE whole.

Think Partner/Best Friend. Worked like a charm for ME anyway.

[MissHoneychurch]

12. You are right

thank you :hug:

It is a small line between letting him know I care about him and bugging him. I use to tend to become submissive when I fall in love. And that I don't stand up for what I want. So it is really hard for me to find the right way.

[Guava Jelly]

19. I'd rather him be someone that makes you happy

for 70 or 80 years or so :)

[MissHoneychurch]

20. He makes me happy

when I am together with him.

[Guava Jelly]

21. That is a really good sign.

:D May he be with you often than.

[bertha katzenengel]

5. sweet Miss Honey...

:hug:

this insecurity is universal. that's probably no help, but you can know it's not silly for you to feel this way.

:loveya:

[MissHoneychurch]

9. It still annoys me

been a while since I've been that much in love.

:hug:

[Haole Girl]

10. I'm so happy to hear this!

Have confidence! I've known you long enough to know you're a wonderful person, so if you are simply yourself...well, everything should work out great!!

Thank you for sharing happy news with us!

:loveya:

p.s., I hope he likes cats! ;-)

[MissHoneychurch]

13. You know I would share it with you sooner or later

:)

I am myself. That is something I always did. I never tried to be someone else. Lying would hurt a relationship at one point and I always been honest in that regard and every other regard as well.

I talked to him about kitties on our first date ... he didn't seem to mind .... LOL

:loveya:

[ForrestGump]

11. Love is like that,

and so sometimes you've just got to let go. It's a leap of faith, a freefall, and taking that plunge is the onyl way you'll ever ensure you're fully open to the love that is there.

It can hurt, sooner or later, but I think never taking that risky step hurts uis more in the long run. When it comes to love, I think we're all 16-year-olds at heart. And, yes, it can be the scariest thing imaginable. I'm not truly afraid of much in the physical world but love, and the prospect of being hurt by it going awry when I am at my most vulnerable, has very often outright terrified me. I speak as one who has too often and for too long played it safe, protecting my sometimes battered heart, and missed out on so much in doing so...but love, when it is right, is the best thing there is.

Intellectually you know that this man is not the same person as one who has hurt you before, and that this is a unique moment in your life and a unique person sharing it with you. At some point, you need to give in and trust your feelings, so I wish you happiness, and the strength to surrender and let love in, all the way. :hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

16. Thank you Forrest

:hug:

You speak true words. I think the danger of being hurt is always there, no matter where you are in a relationship. I do trust my feelings but my feelings where being used quite often that I don't know if I can really trust them. Not sure that makes sense.
It's been a while since I was in love as much as I am now. On the one hand I love the feeling, on the other hand I hate it.

[MissMillie]

14. I give you a lot of credit for even trying

I'm 43.. and as many times I've been in love, that's how many times I've had my heart broken. Now, my walls are strong... it's going to take a superman to get in.

I'm glad you haven't hardened like I have.

[MissHoneychurch]

15. I am scared I will one day

a friend of mine has been hurt a lot too. Now she is so careful and suspicious she is doubting everyone and everything. I try not to be that way. I am thinking without trust you don't even need to start a relationship. That is maybe why I've been hurt over and over again. I am trusting too easily and some guys used that.
This new guy knows that. He says he keeps his promises and so far he's been truthful about that. So I do believe he is different.

[BarenakedLady]

17. It's scary and exciting

Isn't it?

I think we all feel vulnerable in love. No one wants their heart stomped on.

I'm happy for you!

:woohoo:

:hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

18. As often as I've been hurt

no, I don't want to get hurt again. I layed low the last year or so. Mainly because I didn't feel up to "playing the game" again. I am tired of games. But then he showed up and everything is different ....

:hug:

[ThomCat]

22. I hope he's good for you, and you for him.

And I hope it works out beautifully for both of you.

You're a wonderful person. I'd love to hear that you're happy. :hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

23. Thank you ThomCat

I guess I will find out sooner or later. I just know I am ready for a committed relationship. Always been actually. Just missing the right man for it. I hope this guy is ready for such a relationship as well.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

24. You're 32?

I thought you were 25-ish. :D

[MissHoneychurch]

26. Awwww

thank you!!!

But I was "only" 31 when we met last year :D

[crim son]

25. MissHoneychurch!

Your post makes me smile. I know exactly how you're feeling and and am so very happy for you. You say you love the feeling, but you also hate it - but you know that if it were to somehow disappear tomorrow you wouldn't feel relief but great sadness. Bravely go forward and give this love everything you've got because if you don't, then you will always wonder "what could have been." You know what I'm saying, right? Even the pain/pleasure aspect of early love is a wonderful, rare experience. :hug: :hug: :hug:

We don't get enough good news. You've made my day and I thank you for that.

[MissHoneychurch]

27. Crim son!!!

:hug:

Yes, I know what you mean. As scared as I am I am not pulling away from it.

Glad I could make your day with such a "simple" post. Your answer helps me a lot too.

:loveya:

[Inchworm]

28. Love is a trip

I am happy for you! It is a scary adventure when you think about it too hard. Well, it is for me. The whole open heart thing sets my mind in motion, but oh what a feeling. I'm so glad that you that I'm all mushy. :hug:

Thanks for sharing this. The first thing I read today and it brightens the day.

:hi:

[MissHoneychurch]

29. Thank you Inchworm

and I feel honored that you read my thread first

:hug:

[reyd reid reed]

30. Sweetie, there's nothing in the world

as scary as being in love. That's part of what makes it so wonderful. And, my experience is, when it comes to love, it makes us *all* feel 16 again. Let yourself. Let yourself love and let yourself be happy. You deserve all the love and happiness that life has to offer. And he's a lucky man. Tell him I said so.

And remember to breathe.

:hug::loveya::hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

33. I knew I forgot something

the breathing isn't so much the problem but the eating ... at least I am losing a couple of pounds that way .... LOL

It isn't as much the love itself that scares me (even though the thought is scary enough) but the danger of being hurt again.

:loveya: :hug:

[lizziegrace]

34. Breathing is important!

;)

Everything RRR said is true. My biggest problem in a current relationship is that I jump to conclusions and respond as if he *is* going to hurt me like others have. Truth is, he doesn't want to hurt me and I would never intentionally hurt him. He said one time "you're safe here". Never knew how much it would mean and how much I needed to hear it.

I hope you feel safe and happy with this man. He is indeed a lucky guy. :hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

36. He doesn't act like he is wanting to hurt me

he keeps his promises. He is sweet to me when we are together. Sometimes just holding me (boy, did I miss that). I am still afraid that he will hurt me like the others did. Even though I know he isn't the others. Sometimes it is hard to not to jump to conclusions.

Thanks lizzie :hug:

[lizziegrace]

39. Then trust that

I've had to give up my bad habits (jumping to conclusions) and give him the benefit of the doubt until I'm proven wrong. That means sometimes stopping, taking a deep breath and reminding myself that he's not my ex or someone else who hurt me. So far, he hasn't proven me wrong. ;)

It's a huge leap of faith and I wish you all the best. :hug:

[soleft]

31. I always say happiness is the process of getting your needs met

And we all need love. Sounds like you're in the game! Enjoy.

And on another note, are you the same Miss HoneyChurch that posted on the Melinda Doolittle thread on TWOP.

[MissHoneychurch]

35. Sounds like it

I just don't want to be the game .....



And no, I am not the other Miss Honeychurch. But I guess there are others out there who like "Room with a View" as well :)

[Evoman]

32. Ha! You just need more scar tissue.

Somebody could leave me at the altar, and I would probably just turn to my best man and ask him where he wants to go for lunch. Love does not scare me. Knives scare me. Dark alleys in bad neighbourhoods scare me.

Love...it ain't so bad.

[southlandshari]

37. I'm rooting for you!

I can't think of anyone sweeter or more deserving of happiness than you, darlin'!

:hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

38. SHARI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So good to see you :hug: How are you doing????


:hug:

[southlandshari]

45. I've got no complaints!

Real life has been going exceedingly well for me ever since I took an extended break from the online world to focus on...well...real life. Go figure!

;)

I do love stopping in and seeing old friends here when I can, though, and I'm so glad I saw this thread from you. I meant it when I said I'm rooting for you. Just believe in yourself and know that you are a wonderful person anyone would be lucky to have as a partner.

:hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

46. Not much online myself

that is the first bigger thread I started in a while.

Thank you for your support. It means a lot to me :hug:

[In_The_Wind]

40. Butterflies in the tummy happen all of the time when you're excited.

good luck

[MissHoneychurch]

41. The butterflies are more than active

thanks Joani :hug:

[In_The_Wind]

44. Enjoy every moment.

I'll be sending positive vibes your way ~~~~~~~~~

[MissHoneychurch]

47. Vibes are always welcome

and I sure not saying no to them

:hug:

[wildhorses]

42. ~

love knows not the age:hug:

:hi:

[MissHoneychurch]

43. But I do .... LOL

:hi: wildhorses

:hug: :loveya:

[HEyHEY]

48. good luck

[Callalily]

49. I'm just bursting

with joy for you and your new love!

Here is one of my favorite poems. The second paragraph seems to fit your feelings. Hold onto these feelings, embrace them, enjoy them.

Good luck to you as you travel this new, wonderful and exciting path.


Variations on the Word Love
~ Margaret Atwood


This is a word we use to plug
holes with. It's the right size for those warm
blanks in speech, for those red heart-
shaped vacancies on the page that look nothing
like real hearts. Add lace
and you can sell
it. We insert it also in the one empty
space on the printed form
that comes with no instructions. There are whole
magazines with not much in them
but the word love, you can
rub it all over your body and you
can cook with it too. How do we know
it isn't what goes on at the cool
debaucheries of slugs under damp
pieces of cardboard? As for the weed-
seedlings nosing their tough snouts up
among the lettuces, they shout it.
Love! Love! sing the soldiers, raising
their glittering knives in salute.

Then there's the two
of us. This word
is far too short for us, it has only
four letters, too sparse
to fill those deep bare
vacuums between the stars
that press on us with their deafness.
It's not love we don't wish
to fall into, but that fear.
this word is not enough but it will
have to do. It's a single
vowel in this metallic
silence, a mouth that says
O again and again in wonder
and pain, a breath, a finger
grip on a cliffside. You can
hold on or let go.

[MissHoneychurch]

50. Aww thank you Simply

:hug:

That is such a wonderful poem. Thank you thank you thank you

:loveya: :hug: :hi: