So, who wants to dole out life/career advice?

[teenagebambam]

Here's the background: Partner and I went to grad school in DC, and then stuck around and took on mid-level management jobs and, except for the fact that we were doing something completely outside the field we went to grad school for, had a pretty sweet life.

One year ago we moved to Florida as partner got a job IN his field and, after a few months of creative searching, so did I.

One year later, we're both doing what we were educated to do, but:

1) he hates his job. Not because of the field involved, but because of the specific situation he finds himself in

2) I love my job, but it's part-time and there's really no possibility of it becoming full-time unless something drastically changes. Part-time means no insurance, his job doesn't offer same-sex partner benefits, and I'm forty and overweight.

3) it's Florida. The place where all the stories of children being kept in cages come from.

Partner and I have both just received informal job offers back in DC. What I'd like to know from someone older and wiser is, if we take these jobs are we going to look back in a few years and think, "why didn't we just stick it out for the sake of pusuing what we always thought we wanted to do?"

[matcom]

1. are you both 'married' to living in FL?

[teenagebambam]

2. Not at all

we LOVED DC....came here because the job was in his field, and we do have some family here. I guess what I'm asking is, should we feel at all guilty about possibly setting our courses OUTSIDE the fields we were educated for, perhaps for the rest of our working lives?

[matcom]

4. can I ask what field you were educated in and what the new career would be?

[Roon]

6. My Brother got a law degree

and passed the bar in Mass. He now works for legal aid in Main,not as a lawyer.

[Nickster]

8. Seriously, how many people are doing what their education was for? I don't know about

you but my career tastes have changed so much that I can't even say what my dream job would be at this point.

I notice that you say "field you were educated in" rather than "my dream job", "my chosen career". It sounds like you might not be so married to the idea of staying in your educated career.

[teenagebambam]

12. Yeah, I guess maybe that's part of the problem

Or maybe the WHOLE problem. Feeling guilty because what we spent thousands (I mean THOUSANDS, as in six figures) of dollars getting through school, and maybe that's not so much what we want to do anymore.

[Nickster]

16. Well, think of how much you got from going through school. There are lots of things that

you picked up that you can transfer into different areas of life and different occupations. Maybe you can bring some things specific to your field to what ever you choose to do and reinvent a career in the new field. Maybe give it a spin that other people in the new field never thought about. Education is never a waste unless you make it so.

[hellbound-liberal]

3. I have a couple of questions.

It would help to know what field you were trained in as well as the field in which you received your job offers. Are there no jobs in your field of training available in the DC area? Is there a possibility that you will get such a job later even if you are working in a different field at first? Are there more jobs available in your area of training in Florida provided you stay there? If so, how long are you willing to wait to find something? I lived in Florida most of my life and then moved to Maryland. I think Florida is great when you are young and want to stay up and party all night (DC is okay for that too!)but I think you can probably make more money in the DC area and, if there is a possibility that you can get a job in your chosen field somewhere down the road, you might want to choose DC. I have to step out for a few minutes but I am interested in hearing more details about your particular job situations. I'll read the responses when I get back and offer some more thoughts.

[teenagebambam]

11. Okay, here goes (for matcom too!)

We are educated in the performing arts, we both have doctorates in Voice Performance. Being that we are both men, and in fact exactly the same voice type, we have always known that it would be a challenge for BOTH of us to have great jobs in our field in the same town.

He was hired to teach in Florida, but ended up accepting a supplemental administrative position, which means he had to give up MOST of his teaching load, which means he had to hire me to teach to make up the difference. So, although the combined income is now enough to JUST get by, he hates being primarily an administrator. He can give up the administrative part, but that means he loses 15 grand a year, and I lose my teaching job.

There certainly is more money available in DC, and one of our struggles is paying off our combined student loan debt, while being employed in a field (academia/arts) that traditionally doesn't pay so well.

While in DC, we had plenty of side gigs, both teaching and performing, that kept us spiritually fulfilled even though it wasn't our "real" job, plus we could pay all the bills, go to the doctor, and put a little away for a rainy day.

I am teaching because I COULDN'T find a "regular" day job when we moved,which was my original intention. Even if I COULD find one, Florida is pretty much a cultural wasteland and there's scant possibility of finding any side work to keep me spiritually fulfilled.

[hellbound-liberal]

15. I think av8rdave has some good points. Life is too short to spend a lot of time doing something

you don't want to do, unless you see a light at the end of the tunnel. My father, who was a carpenter, said that you are really lucky if you can get paid for doing something that you consider a hobby or something that you would love to do even if you weren't getting paid for it. He was lucky that way and, fortunately, as a relatively new teacher of children with special needs, I can say the same thing. From all you have said about your and your partner's current positions and your ability to be spiritually fulfilled in DC, I would suggest that you consider relocating to DC when a decent opportunity presents itself. I agree that, for the most part, Florida is a cultural wasteland, and you would have many more opportunities in the DC area. I think you are wise to be considering all of these options and looking at this from the perspective of looking back on your life. I often look at my own life, and try to make decisions, from the same perspective. Whatever you decide, good luck and let us know how things are going. If you end up in DC, we'll look forward to meeting you at the Inauguration celebration in 2009!

[teenagebambam]

18. Tee hee

Whether or not I move back, I'll DEFINITELY be at the Inauguration. One of my side gigs in DC was singing at the National Cathedral, and before I left I ensured that I was indispensible enough to be called back for all State function and special events!

[av8rdave]

5. This is just my opinion, but....

I believe it's worth the sacrifice to be doing something you really love to do. Any sacrifice short of your relationship is worth it. Regardless of income, life is too short to spend a significant chunk of it doing something you don't like.

Who knows? Maybe yo two will discover some cool business you can run on the side to supplement the income be able to do what you enjoy. Have your cake and eat it too!

I've always tried to teach my kids that if they're not looking forward to their workday, they're making a mistake.

[BlueIris]

7. What this person posted.

:-)

[Zuiderelle]

9. You're forty. I think you should probably go back to DC.

Without benefits, and working part-time, I'd begin to worry about the not-so-distant future if I were you. Especially since you are both not really happy about the situation there.

[caty]

10. When you are older,

many of the things you regret isn't the things you did, it's the things you didn't do. If you don't think that the two of you would like to keep doing what you are doing, then move on. Go back to D.C. and give it a try. This is a huge country. There are many places to live where you can find what it takes to make you both happy with your lives.

[teenagebambam]

13. Heh.

That's why we moved to Florida. Thinking that we would regret it if we never tried.

[caty]

17. So, it didn't work out.

At least you had the adventure. You also found out a few things about yourselves that will benefit you in the future. It's better to regret something that you put some effort into, than to regret not even trying.

[unpossibles]

14. hmm. I am neither older not wiser, but have been in the same situation

a couple of points:

1 - No offense to anyone living there, but in my opinion Florida is a great vacation spot not a place to live. There are a couple of good exceptions, but I'm sure you know what I mean.

2 - don't worry about not doing what you went to school for. My current field is not what my degree is in, but is close enough that I enjoy the work and have (finally) found a "career" of sorts and can deal with that just fine.

3 - My wife hates her job and is also post-graduate school and feels guilty about it. She's not sure if she wants to give it another chance at a different place or try something new, so here's what I tell her and this may apply to your partner. Listen to your heart about whether the problem is the employer or the field, and look for another job immediately. With some experience, staying in the same field is a bit easier, and if they find it lacking, look for something else before hating the new job. But if they choose to try something new, be supportive of each other and remember to try to not stress about it too much.

Anyway, good luck! Where in FL are you? (You can PM me the answer if you want - I have friends in several cities there and actually will be down there for July 4th week/weekend, but may be able to help out)