How the hell do you use a blender?

[jobycom]

I mean, I can put 'em together and press buttons and stuff, but every time I go to make something, the blades munch up everything they reach, and leave the rest in a neat little unblended dome above them, so I have to stop the blender, scrape everything down, blend a few more seconds, then repeat until around bedtime. Is that normal? Are they only for blending liquid stuff? If so, why do they have "chop" buttons?

[bicentennial_baby]

1. Get a food processor

:)

[jobycom]

3. For smoothies? I've never figured out food processors, either.

They just make veggie mush in the bottom of the bowl. Probably because I've only tried really cheap ones, though.

[AggieGal]

2. Get a Blendtec

This thing is cool to watch. Check it out on youtube.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MC8Zvl-8ziA

[jobycom]

5. Holy GOD!!!

Do our troops have that weapon?

[AggieGal]

7. I had to watch to see what they will blend next

[jobycom]

11. I had to watch the IPod... Just had to! nt

[AggieGal]

16. I was drawn to that one as well

since my stupid iPod died.

[NMDemDist2]

27. I used those in my coffee carts, they were the best, but expensive!

:hi:

[MsKandice01]

4. I hear the Magic Bullet is awesome...

Even with its dildo-like name.

[edbermac]

6. Get a Bass-O-Matic

How many times has this happened to you? You have a bass, and you're trying to find an exciting new way to prepare it for the dinner table. You could scale the bass, remove the bass' tail, head and bones, and serve the fish as you would any other fish dinner. But why bother, now that you can use Rovco's amazing new kitchen tool, the Super Bass-o-Matic '76. Yes, fish-eaters, the days of troublesome scaling, cutting and gutting are over, because Super Bass-o-Matic '76 is the tool that lets you use the bass with no fish waste, and without scaling, cutting or gutting.

Here's how it works: Catch a bass, remove the hook, and drop the bass - that's the whole bass - into the Super Bass-o-Matic '76. < drops the bass into the blender > Now, adjust the control dial so that the bass is blended just the way you like it. < turns blender on and grinds it to a pulp > Yes, it's that simple!

Bass-Drinker: < drinks a glassful of bass > Wow, that's terrific bass!

Spokesman: We've got fish here, fast and easy and ready to pour, mmm-mmm! Super Bass-o-Matic '76 comes with ten interchangeable rotors, a nine-month guarantee, and a booklet: 1,001 Ways to Harness Bass. Super Bass-o-Matic '76 works great on sunfish, perch, sole, and other small aquatic creatures. < blends one of each >

Super Bass-o-Matic '76 - it's clean, simple, and after five or ten fish, it gets to be quite a rush! Super Bass-o-Matic '76 - you'll never have to scale, cut or gut again!

[jobycom]

10. Possibly one of the causes of me becoming a vegetarian

:rofl: I still have nightmares of that sketch!

[Lyric]

8. Just use more liquid

Whenever I make a smoothie in a blender, I usually use fresh fruit, vanilla yogurt, a cup of ice, and a cup of skim milk. I might also toss in a tablespoon or two of Splenda or sugar, if I'm using a sour fruit.

If you don't have enough liquid, a blender won't work properly.

[jobycom]

9. So they aren't good for chopping, say, chickpeas?

[Lyric]

13. That depends. Are you turning your chickpeas into hummus?

If so, just make sure they're good and soft, and that you've added enough tahini and lemon juice. :)

[jobycom]

19. No, more like the tuna salad substitute

[bicentennial_baby]

12. Also:

Ask this in Cooking and Baking ;)

[leftofthedial]

14. install the marital aid where the blades are

set on "aerate"

and enjoy

occasionally hit the "pulse" button for a little extra fun! :-)

[supernova]

15. Add more liquid

If everything is sitting on top of the blades, the food is too viscous. You need to add liquid. Then experiment with different chopping speeds such as blend or liquefy, until you get that vortex action happening.


edit: spelling.

[siouxsiecreamcheese]

17. you need a smoothie machine

there only about 20 bucks and they work like a blender but they have a stick on the top through the lid where you can push food down and swirl it around. Hey that rhymed!:o

[Richard Steele]

18. I put a notch on a spatula handle...

So I can reach down and mix stuff without stopping the blender.
When the notch is even with the top, the tip is about an inch
short of the blades.

I'm sure it's a terribly unsafe thing to do, and no one should
ever do that. Just sayin, tho....

[NMDemDist2]

20. silly joby, here's blender 101

if you are doing chunky stuff you have to pulse it a few times to get things working before you charge ahead full speed :hi:

if you are making smoothies, pulse the fruit a few times then add your liquids

always start with a slower speed and work your way up if needed

anything else I can answer for ya? :hide:

[jobycom]

23. Well,

First, thanks! Second, so if I'm putting chickpeas into a blender, and I hit pulse a few times, and it still forms that little dome which turns the bottom chickpeas into mush while doing nothing to the ones on top, am I putting too many chickpeas in at once, or is that just the way they work, or is it not ever going to chop up chickpeas? I usually just dump one drained can into the bowl.

[NMDemDist2]

24. add a little lemon juice and go on the slowest speed to start it out

once it's moving nicely you can increase the speed

blenders need liquid to be most efficient

for a can of chickpeas or for making salsa you really need one of these babies, it also grates cheese and potatoes for hash browns and will liquefy veggies for what ever.

Truly a blender is not for solids :hug: I've had my cheapie little Black & Decker for over 15 years and it chops up a storm



http://www.amazon.com/Black-Decker-MFP200-MiniPro-Processor/dp/B00005MF96/ref=sr_1_15/002-7674272-0289626?ie=UTF8&s=kitchen&qid=1181750132&sr=1-15

[Gormy Cuss]

21. Have you RTFM?

I've learned that most people don't bother. Standard blenders are better at tasks with at least some liquid ingredients. High powered ones can handle more chopping tasks with ease, but for most people having a little food processor is better for that sort of thing.

[jobycom]

22. I'm an FM fanatic.

I even read the silly warnings, like "Don't put your fingers into the blender while it is on." :)

[Gormy Cuss]

25. So that's what I've been doing wrong.

I thought there must be a better way to clear the jammed blades.
:)

[jobycom]

28. I know, right?

It makes typing much harder, too! :)

[Hugin]

26. Insert frogs... Push button...

Nuthin' to it.

:shrug:

[jobycom]

29. A polite person

calls them French people. :)

[Hugin]

30. Darn language police are everywhere...

!