The REAL reason little kids are stressful: EVERYTHING in the house could kill them!

[LaraMN]

I think my husband could walk in the front door and the thought process involved in getting to the couch would be like this:
"Front porch: good, room for my shoes. Kitchen: No food in plain sight. Living room: remote on coffee table, no kids on couch."

My brain sees it like this:
"Front porch: omg! mini blind cord hanging where Jack could strangle on it. Augh! Hammer on mantle! Jack could hit sibling in head with it! Nail sticking out of floor near doorway! Are the kids' tetanus shots current?! Kitchen: Omg! Paring knife near edge of counter! Gas burner on, unattended! Shit! left door to back entryway open! Jack could get out, open front door, run into alley and be struck by a car! Living room: Augh! more dangling mini blind cords! Open window with screen! Jack could fall through! Electrical cords! Jack could bite or be strangled on them! Fork on floor! Jack could fall and impale himself!"

How my husband can glaze over and stare at the Food Network when danger lurks in every corner, I don't know.


:freak:

[Bjornsdotter]

1. Guys are like that

...I am on my guard constantly, well not so much now that the kids are older. I have trained them well, but it appears that the "girl teen" listened while the "boy teen" couldn't give a rat's ass.

Ah well....keep up the good work. :applause:

[LaraMN]

3. Well, he can pay for the botox I'll require when I get premature wrinkles

from frowning and worrying constantly!:P

[crim son]

2. It's true.

Wait until you have to explain to your kids what to do if somebody wields a deadly weapon at their school. You simply won't effin' believe you have to say it, but you know you have to.

[LaraMN]

4. Oh gross.

I'm not looking forward to that. And it's damn sad that any of us even have to have that conversation...

[mopinko]

5. and boy howdy do they hype that shit up these days.

my father's philosophy was- sterilize, schmerilze- you are in the kitchen boiling bottles and the kid is in the front room eating dirt out of the potted plant. so i had some immunity to the constant harping. but, man, it is hard.
some people have no common sense about it, either. my SIL was a fanatic. one time i allowed my 1 year old to play around and explore a walnut. he put it in his mouth, and she had a heart attack. "he's gonna swallow that and choke!!" but he could barely get it in his mouth. no way it was going down his throat! she always chopped her kids food into tiny particles. i always gave them a big chunk they could hold onto and destroy.
i tried to apply darwin's laws- if this could really kill a kid, would we be here at all? or maybe i was just tired and lazy. that could be.

[LaraMN]

6. Sometimes I just refuse to look at what they're doing. I just don't want to know.

Which is why I found JackMN in my room licking both sides of a recently used foot file, the other night. Hardly hazardous but GROOO-ISSS!

[mopinko]

7. sometimes you just have to protect yourself.

they will suffer a far worse fate if you go around the bend. ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

[naturalselection]

8. We are the exact opposite in our house.

I am completely paranoid about the littlest things that our son could get into.
I'm getting better as he gets older, but I still think of the worst case.

My wife is the person in our house that leaves the pairing knife laying on the counter.

[rbnyc]

9. My husband was SAHD for first year...

...so he is a little better trained than that. What I wish he could learn to see is when things are a mess!

[texas1928]

10. Now now...

Scars build character.


:P



I keed I keed

[hunter]

11. I hate to say this, but it only gets worse...

And then they get their drivers licenses.

:scared: