ohiosmith
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:05 PM
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Things they probably don't have in hell: |
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Cool chicks
Boat drinks
Mukluks
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hellbound-liberal
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:09 PM
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1. I don't know ohiosmith, some of the coolest chicks I know might end up there! |
ohiosmith
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:14 PM
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Hugin
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:10 PM
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Internet Access...
C-SPAN...
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In_The_Wind
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:12 PM
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GoddessOfGuinness
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:16 PM
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5. Maybe not orchids; but I'll bet hell has these... |
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They smell like rotting flesh.
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ohiosmith
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:22 PM
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9. Use them for barstools. |
GoddessOfGuinness
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:23 PM
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ohiosmith
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:27 PM
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12. Talk about a High Colonic. |
In_The_Wind
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:47 PM
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29. WOW! I'm impressed! That is sooo totally erotic looking. |
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I'll bet these guys will be there:
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GoddessOfGuinness
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Wed Jun-13-07 05:52 PM
Response to Reply #29 |
32. Have you ever visited the National Botanical Gardens, in DC? |
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They have corpse flowers there. Blooming is a rare event, apparently.
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ZombieNixon
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:17 PM
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I'm looking forward to it.
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Hugin
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:18 PM
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7. Self-serve Ice Cream... |
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HBO...
Color TeeVee...
Gilligan's Island Re-runs...
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Hugin
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:20 PM
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8. Chicken breaded with Cornflakes... |
ohiosmith
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:34 PM
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18. That does it. I'm not going. |
FloridaJudy
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:25 PM
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And comfy shoes. I'm gonna miss my Birks.
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Hugin
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:29 PM
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The Weather Channel...
Antiperspirant...
Deodorant...
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mikeytherat
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:31 PM
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Sequoia
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:32 PM
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otherlander
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:33 PM
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16. Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream |
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Just got it for the first time last night and I'm eating a cup right now. It's like there are angels in my teeth...
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TommyO
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:38 PM
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22. I'll have to try that! |
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My current fave is Willie Nelson's Peach Cobbler. I eat it while watching The Colbert Report (I know, it's not Americone Dream!)
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otherlander
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Wed Jun-13-07 05:29 PM
Response to Reply #22 |
31. It took me forever to find a pint |
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of Americone Dream. It was pretty good. Still have to find the peach cobbler, though. I usually like the fruit-flavor ones better than the chocolate-flavor ones. :9
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FloridaJudy
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Wed Jun-13-07 06:31 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
40. Americone Dream and Peach Cobbler are pretty tasty |
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but nothing beats Vermonty Python. I'm positive they don't have that in hell.
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unpossibles
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:34 PM
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17. worse music than what's in Heaven? n/t |
TommyO
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:43 PM
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24. Harp music, blech, unless it's played by Lily Munster |
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Damn, couldn't find a usable picture!
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unpossibles
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:45 PM
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plus, can you imagine any of the really good dead musicians getting in Heaven no matter the genre? Even country music was better back when they were all hell-bound.
;)
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conscious evolution
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:35 PM
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Been there done that Ain't going back No way no how.
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Joe Fields
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:36 PM
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TommyO
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:37 PM
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Oops, just checked my inside connection. He's there, my bad.
P.S. I swore an oath not to tell everybody that Satan's ex, Saddam*, is now shacked up with Falwell, and as we all know, Saddam isn't a bottom.
* I learned that Saddam and Satan were lovers from South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.
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Hugin
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:40 PM
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Post-it Notes...
PHONES!!!!!
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rug
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:43 PM
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ohiosmith
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:44 PM
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TheFriendlyAnarchist
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Wed Jun-13-07 04:44 PM
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otherlander
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Wed Jun-13-07 05:27 PM
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30. They probably have cocain, though. |
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The drug lords probably brought some with them to sell.
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querelle
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Wed Jun-13-07 05:56 PM
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Only Free Republic. Oh, and it's the only internet forum allowed down there.
:scared:
I'm gonna be good from now on.
Q
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Inchworm
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Wed Jun-13-07 06:13 PM
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ThatsMyBarack
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Wed Jun-13-07 06:14 PM
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35. Classic episodes of The Simpsons |
crim son
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Wed Jun-13-07 06:14 PM
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tigereye
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Wed Jun-13-07 06:19 PM
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Ellen Forradalom
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Wed Jun-13-07 06:21 PM
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maveric
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Wed Jun-13-07 06:22 PM
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39. George Foreman grills and Joe Cocker albums. |
sarge43
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Wed Jun-13-07 06:32 PM
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For Cold Comfort Farm fans.
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SOteric
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Wed Jun-13-07 06:43 PM
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Random_Australian
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Wed Jun-13-07 06:44 PM
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43. No boring Sunday church services to sit through! |
Q3JR4
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Wed Jun-13-07 09:05 PM
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A good, clean living Pagan dies and goea to Heaven. St Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates and tells him, "You can't come in here." "Why?" asked the man. "Heaven just isn't for your kind," Came the reply.
So down into hell the man goes. As he steps off the elevator he's greeted by a beautiful green field with people picnicking and having a great time. As he walks through the field all of his dead Pagan friends are their and they shake his hand and slap him on the back.
A man in a white walks up to him and presents himself as Satan. Satan invites the Pagan man over to his Tiki hut and offers him a drink. "I'm sorry, alcohol gives me horrible hangovers and I can barely stand it the next morning." "Don't worry about it," said Satan, "Here you can drink as much as you want, get as drunk as you want, and wake up feeling happy and refreshed."
"Wow!" thinks the pagan, "Hell ain't so bad!"
Suddenly, the sky darkens and lightening and thunder rattles across the heavens. A large hole opens up in the lush green grass of the field and fire spews from the middle blackening the earth around the crater. A screaming flaming man falls through the blackness in the sky and is swallowed by the fissure in the earth.
After the man falls through the hole in the ground, the Pagan man watches in surprise as the ground knits itself back together and the large rolling black clouds in the heaven dissipate. In no time at all, everything is back to normal.
Shocked, he turns to the man in white, "what was that?" Satan replies with a sad little smile and a shake of his head, "that was a Fundamentalist Christian. They wouldn't have it any other way.."
:hide:
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Fri May 10th 2024, 10:14 PM
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