Crap. The tourists have officially invaded my city.

[mainegreen]

Every year around this time tourists invade. They drive terribly, as they are always lost in the maze that is Portland. They are slow as can be, clearly sight seeing from their car. Hey, I have and idea, why not get out and walk? Oh that's right, you'll just stand in the middle of the road pointing at things. Yes, yes that's lovely Victorian sea-captain style architecture, now would you please move you and your camera away from me?
It wouldn't be so bad if there weren't so freaking many of them, tootling around with their 'guide to Portland' maps that will only show them how to get from one tourist trap to the next so they can buy that lobster postcard and have some stuffed haddock at DiMillo's. Yes I know where the floating restaurant is. No I'm not going to draw a map for you to get there. Just go that-a-way, and if your car shoots off the end of the bleeding wharf into the ocean you've gone to far. How hard can it be to find the floating restaurant? Portland is what, all of 1 square mile? IT'S BY THE WATERFRONT!
And god forbid one of those monstrous 10 gazillion people sized cruise ships come into town. Those things are almost as big as the whole freaking peninsula! They're like some mad locust swarm, buzzing around, clogging the sidewalks, milling about pointing at things. God, you better watch out when they start pointing at things. They come close to damn near taking out my eye flinging their pointing finger at every slightly 'authentic' architectural curiosity. God forbid they see an actual fishermen, they damn near hyperventilate, vacillating to and fro, 'look, look A REAL LIVE LOBSTERMAN!!!! OMG HUHUGH!!!' I swear to god, you'd think anything slightly more exciting than TCBY might as well be freaking Disney World on the fourth of July to them.
Soon that stupid Bus/Boat monstrosity will be hauling it purple self up and down my street, full of tourists taking our pictures. What, you never seen a person on a porch before?
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
:banghead:
Only four months until the cold weather starts to drive them back south. Yes, they do hate the cold.

[Redstone]

1. Hey, we have 20 thousand of them who come here for the WHOLE SUMMER!

And the winter population of my town is only ten thousand.

But I'm not going to complain; it's great for our property-tax rates.

Redstone

[mainegreen]

2. Our don't spend money.

They just try to irritate me.
Those that do buy property out on the islands then try and secede to form a new town so they don't have to pay property taxes.
Damn flatlanders.

[Redstone]

3. "Damn flatlanders?" Christ, yes. Look what they've done to Vermont.

Redstone

[ironflange]

4. I love Portland, we're visiting next month

Portland Oregon though, sorry. At least I won't be annoying you.

:hi:

I kind of know how you feel, my town becomes a real tourist trap for a while each summer, and Banff, an hour away, is ten times worse.

[cobalt1999]

5. Try living in Florida.

You'll really learn to hate tourists. There used to be a season, now it is year round. At least you get the winters off.

[mainegreen]

8. Thank god for winter.

It's like DDT for tourists!

[KamaAina]

6. They invaded my island years ago

it never stops, really. We don't even have an "off season", merely a "shoulder season" in spring and fall.

Guess who commutes on one of the main bus lines leading to and from Waikiki??? :grr: "Does this bus go to Waikiki?" :dunce:

[SecularMotion]

7. As they say in the Berkshires

I keed, I keed :D

[mainegreen]

9. I like that bumper sticker.

I really do.
;)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

10. HAHAHAHAHA, yessssss!

I was driving in Portland yesterday with my driver's ed teacher, and I saw more goddamned tourists... Two days before that we were in the hinterlands of Kennebunkport/Arundel--not even on the ocean!--and got shortchanged by several Massholes and a New York bastid.

Learn how to fucking drive, morans. I've only driven 10 hours in my life and I was still in better control than they were.

[likesmountains 52]

11. They're in my town too....like their $$$...not so happy with their Winnebagos

[Generic Brad]

12. I'll have it worse next year

The next Republican national convention will be held smack in the middle of my neighborhood. I would prefer an influx of tourists to inconvenient roadblocks and not being able to travel freely between home and work.