Our relatives and our kids....would love to change name and address

[Crazy Dave]

They seem to confuse being responsible and having priorities like paying your bills so your car doesn't get repo'ed, your phone and lights don't get turned off, putting the needs ahead of the wants, etc. with "You guys got all kinds of money so let us borrow $400 to get our lights turned back on", or "get out of jail for writing bad checks", "yadda, yadda".

You know the types, get paid, go out that night, go to Disney the next day, buy some video games or spend $150 on a new tattoo, etc. Ask about the $200 they already owe you from last year and get the, "All the money you stingy motherfuckers got and you're bugging me about that lousy fucking $200?!"

[amitten]

1. Um...cut 'em off. Seriously.

You're just helping them put off the inevitable...which is them finally learning about responsibility.

[Crazy Dave]

2. I've tried every way possible without going to court...

...to make the adult relatives on both sides feel unwelcome and like shit but lately they're just getting more aggressive about asking or demanding. Kids are kids and are always feeling entitled but when you're in your forties or older....come on. I caught the wife a couple of months ago telling her daughter to meet her at the grocery store whenever she went shopping and she would add her groceries to our bill thinking I wouldn't notice but believe me you do notice an extra $75 - $100 a week missing at the end of the month. I just took back a Ford Ranger I gave my oldest son who thought every time the insurance policy needed to be renewed or it broke down that it was up to me to pay for it but the adult relatives....we were accused last night by my wife's uncle of "probably voting for Bush" because we're such greedy fucks for not giving him and his wife said $400.

[amitten]

3. Well, if you're willing to buy into that crap then you can't bitch

when they keep ripping you off.

If my relatives were treating me like that, I'd show them the door and refuse their calls. And if someone pulled the BUSH card on me I would all but disown them, That is just rude and below the belt.

Tell these people:

1. I am not an ATM
2. I am not responible for your financial well-being, you are
3. If you can't treat me with respect and quit using me for cash, you can kindly get out of my life

Seriously...cut them off.

[Crazy Dave]

4. Who the hell is "buying into that crap" ?

1. Done that

2. Done that

3. Done that

I can read right through it and they don't get a dime from me, that's why the rudeness. The wife and mom are the ones who get a little sneaky sometimes but I don't plan on getting rid of either. The kids really know how to work their grandma and grandma, my mom, tells me and the wife it's none of our business what she does with her money. She supports my adult brother too.

[amitten]

5. Well, you never said they weren't getting a dime from you.

If it's not you giving the money, don't worry about it. Turn a deaf ear to them.

[NewWaveChick1981]

6. You're a nice guy, and many people will take advantage of that.

:hug: :) My brother has done that to my mother and at times to me. (He doesn't do that to my sister because he knows she and her family don't have it.) He's 40 years old, but he's been doing it his whole life. I finally had to say enough is enough when he borrowed $100 from me about six years ago and when I asked him to repay it, he had a screaming fit. He'd borrowed it the day after his payday (he makes a good salary but lives with my mother) and SAID he'd just paid all his bills...but I found out he'd spent his money on everything BUT paying his bills. :grr: He paid me the $100 a little at a time, and it took him six months to do it. But I got the money. It wasn't the amount---it was the principle. He's taken advantage of everyone in the family at one time or another. I put a stop to it on my end, and I had a long talk with Mom. She's really curbed the things she does for him, but she's still doing it to a certain extent.

I had to learn to be a hardass in those situations. :) Otherwise, people like that will bleed you dry (emotionally and financially). :hug: