My boss actually told me I should...

[Haole Girl]

..wear tighter clothes last week.

It's still sinking in.

I know she meant well, woman-to-woman;

but, after mulling it over...well, I don't

see, first of all, why I should have to give up

my loose-fitting clothing!




Any thoughts on this subject?


:hide:


edit: for correct word usage

[LibraLiz1973]

1. What the hell made her say that to you?

I might have been pretty fucking offended- depending on the context.
Was it a business conversation or a personal conversation?

[Haole Girl]

4. She commented first...

..that she thought I'd lost weight. I said, "Really?" Then she said it was the pants I was wearing...and I should wear tighter-fitting clothing. I think her words were, "We're going to get you into tighter fitting clothing." So...it took place in the course of the conversation about weight loss...and some of my clothes *are* baggy. But, I don't like tight fitting clothes. :-(

[Omphaloskepsis]

15. Sounds like a poorly worded compliment.

Like, "Looking good, time to show off the bod."


Edit to add :: If you waited tables or worked at Starbucks that would be a really bad thing to say. Ya know, dress slutty so you sell more. I have seen bosses say that a few times.

[piesRsquare]

20. Sounds to me

like she was saying she thinks you've got a nice bod and ought to show it off....y'know, "If you've got it, flaunt it".

She might think that you're not very confident about your body, and is trying to complement you and say you're very attractive. "We're going to get you into tighter fitting clothing" means "We're going to get you more confident about your body, show you and the world just how gorgeous you are!"

I've had similar statements made to me before (I like loose-fitting clothing, too). It can be irritating. But since you get along really well with this woman, I'm convinced it was 100% compliment. I'd say accept it as such, smile about it, and just keep doing your own thing. AND take delight in the pleasure of having a boss you really get along with, and who's open to talking "girl stuff" with you! :)

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. Did she actually say that you should wear...

tighter clothes to work?

[Haole Girl]

5. Well..

..see above. She didn't specifically say.

[LeftyFingerPop]

8. In the above context...

it sounds like a well meaning, friendly thing to say. Assuming that you two have a good professional relationship, perhaps it was just a little woman-to-woman banter?

[Haole Girl]

9. Yeah..

But, don't you think it's a little too much for a woman over 40 to wear tight-fitting clothing?

[LeftyFingerPop]

10. No, not at all...

:evilgrin:

In all seriousness though, I think you should wear whatever you are comfortable in. :D

[Haole Girl]

11. Well...

Maybe, if I lose a lot more weight, I'll take that under advisement!

:-)

[TorchTheWitch]

25. I'm over 40 and work naked

except for that little bitty strip of fabric the law requires. Age has nothing to do with what type of clothing one should/shouldn't wear.

[Gormy Cuss]

3. It just doesn't sound right.

Even if she is well meaning, unless your work is safer in tight fitting clothes it's an out of line remark IMHO.

[Haole Girl]

7. Yeah..

After fully digesting it...well, I really couldn't digest it...I wondered.

But, we get along great...really! I think, sometimes, we speak too casually to one another...
but, on the other hand, I wouldn't trade our relationship for the world. She really does treat me well!

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

19. If the relationship is that good

Then I'd assume this was well-meaning and just came out odd. Let it go.

Or mention that tailor-fitted clothes are expensive and you need a raise. Put her money where her mouth is, so to speak.

If the raise comes through, you can have a tailor make you something even more baggy.
:rofl:

[Connonym]

22. Sounds to me like she was speaking as a girlfriend and not as a boss

My daughter has a habit of wearing baggy clothes and her friends are always telling her that she's got a really nice shape and should wear clothes that reveal it. Obviously I can't know what your boss intended but you describe a good friendly relationship and it sounds to me like it was her awkward way of complementing you on your weight loss and trying to be supportive by encouraging you to flaunt it. This is not to say that it wasn't a little inappropriate given her position and if it makes you uncomfortable then perhaps you need to talk with her about personal boundaries.

I really get the vibe that she meant it in a good way. Let's face it, in America it's a complement to say that someone looks like they've lost weight.

[SPKrazy]

6. self delete

[SeattleGirl]

12. Perhaps what she meant was more tailored clothing.

"Tighter fitting" is a bit weird, IMHO.

And more tailored clothing doesn't have to be uncomfortable at all. It depends on the fabric and the cut. I don't like tight-fitting clothes either, but I do want them to fit well, and most importantly, to BE COMFORTABLE.

I don't know how you feel about shopping for clothes, but next time your out and about by some clothing stores, even if you don't intend to buy at the time, you might just try some different things on, see if you can find something that isn't so loose, but doesn't make you feel uncomfortable.

[LeftyFingerPop]

13. .....

:hi: :hi:

[SeattleGirl]

16. Hey philboy!

:hi:

[Haole Girl]

14. Thanks SE

I really should be more open-minded about it. I mean, if she was brave enough to tell me, I should atleast try different styles. Possibly, my loose-fitting clothing appears sloppy and she just didn't want to say that....who knows?

[SeattleGirl]

17. It may have been her somewhat awkward way of trying to be nice

to you about it.

And, as I said, there are clothes out there that have a more tailored look and are still comfortable. Hope you can find things that work for you.

:hi:

[gmoney]

23. bingo...

As superficial, unfair and un-PC as it may be, attractive and/or well-dressed people often have an advantage in business, as well as life in general. This is the reason $5000.00 suits exist...

Having clothes that fit properly is a big part of being well-dressed, and even nice clothes will not look good if they're too tight or too baggy. This is the reason they sell different sizes... properly fitting clothes will be comfortable because they fit!

Consider it a friendly, helpful suggestion, and if SHE is someone who is "well put together" in terms of personal style, consider yourself fortunate that she is willing to make the effort to help you. It means she thinks you're worth the effort. :)

[Flaxbee]

29. yup...

as the OP said a little earlier, the comfortable clothes may appear too informal and/or sloppy... most businesses have an image they want to project, and being inappropriately (albeit comfortably) dressed interferes with that. Your boss might not have wanted to say "you look like a slob" because that's very harsh - she might be trying to appeal to a nearly-universal human desire to be attractive and figured appealing to your vanity was a better way to go than being critical. She said it rather stupidly and ambiguously, but it has gotten you thinking, which is probably what she wanted you to do. And really, big, baggy clothes don't make a person look well put-together. Whatever you wear on your own time is your own business, but employers do have a right to request you conform to some basic clothing standards of proportionality and appearance.

Even if you don't want to / can't afford to do a wardrobe update, see if there are items you regularly wear that you can have taken in/tailored some, and then slowly replace items as you reach your ideal weight.

[TrogL]

18. Find out if the office has a sexual harassment policy

[Bassic]

21. I don't see why she would say that.

I'm sorry, I don't understang this at all. Perhaps she was simply complimenting on your figure, and amicably saying that you should wear them becuase they woudl suit you? :shrug:

At least I hope it's something like that.

[NMDemDist2]

24. I like clothes that fit. not tight, mind you, but that fit

even thought I've put on a few pounds now that I'm past 50, if my clothes are too loose I feel that I look kinda 'sloppy'

we wear shirts at my work that I had 'inherited' from a larger person who had the job previously that are much to big for me and I really don't feel comfortable in them. I don't feel like I project a professional appearance in them

Maybe she was encouraging you to find something that flattered your new figure :shrug:

or maybe we are over analyzing this ??

[Crabby Appleton]

26. and wear shorter skirts also.

[RedCappedBandit]

27. Wear what you want

.. $#@% everyone else. :)

[texas1928]

28. Well all women should where tighter fitting clothing...

Make the day more interesting.



:hide:














I keed, I Keeed.