I need a little bit of advice.....

[TK421]

Whenever someone is talking to me ( and it could be friends, family, or co-workers..doesn't matter ) I find myself yawning uncontrollably and losing interest in what they are saying.

I am being serious, here....last week a co-worker was talking to me about her weekend and I found myself yawning and drifting away. Granted, I'm not a talker, and if you call me on the phone I like to keep the conversation short and sweet...but I'm beginning to wonder if others are finding this rude. I'm really not being rude, but I can't help it. Today the co-worker in question asked me if she was boring me, and I knew right away why she asked. Does this happen to anyone else? My roommate was actually answering a question of mine and I just wanted him to stop answering my question! Weird:shrug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

1. Well....

have you always done this, or is it new? If it is new, has there been a change in the quality or quantity of your sleep?:hi:

[TK421]

4. I believe it's been this way for quite some time now

And I'm sure others have gotten the impression that I don't care what they are saying, which is not true. It does seem to be getting worse. I do get plenty of sleep ( between 8-9 hours )

[SPKrazy]

2. Is this a new behavior

do you sleep well at night?

maybe you are just talking to boring people.

I find some people absolutely annoying in how much they talk. they spend a loooonnnng time getting to the point.

Drives me nuts.

I lose interest if someone doesn't just give me the point.

:rofl:

[TK421]

6. I lose interest in people who don't get to the point, also

and that goes for boring people, too, but this includes people that I actually care about.

I know some people like to talk, but I just don't...maybe that's the real problem here. I do sleep well at night :D

[MichiganVote]

3. Depends. Can you focus in general or do you just hang out with

seriously boring people?

[TK421]

8. I can focus at times, but I'm beginning to think that if the subject doesn't

pertain to me ( I know how this may sound ) then I'm not interested. I'm not sure

[MichiganVote]

16. Do you have some significant stressors at present that result in

problems w/ attention in general? Feel your mind cannot light on anything or do you notice any mood changes? Health problems? Change in food habits?

These are the types of questions that can help your physician determine whether this is a transitory circumstance, one of longer standing or if it is related to either adult ADD or depression. Most of us prefer conversations that involve something we like or are interested in. And truly, much of social conversation is trivial. It is necessary, however, to look interested at least some of the time to get by in life.

Yawning is a sign that the body needs oxygen. When we are sleepy we tend to take less air in, yawning makes up the difference between sleepiness and alert states. It may or may not be related to your seeming disinterest in the social conversations of others.

[TK421]

18. .......

:spray: Those first couple of sentences sound just like a commercial ( I can't think of which one ) but the weird thing is I can focus on a conversation when it seems that there is a problem that needs to be resolved ( like something at work ). Most of the time this happens when people are talking about what their plans are for the summer, and like a good friend I listen...but then I find myself losing interest in the conversation very quickly ( then come those damn yawns ). It's not that I don't care.

No mood changes or health problems here....nor have I changed my diet. I just think that maybe I should try to be more social. Oh, no depression either :thumbsup:

[MichiganVote]

26. Well then you're disinterested. Not a crime. And you are a poblem solver.

Your thinking reflects a need for action. So what action could you take that would both keep your mind busy and allow you to offer the necessary social cues to another that indicate your regard for them?

There are two things that come to my mind. The first is easy--ask questions. Listening is an active sport and the more you do it, actively do it, the better you get. The second thing to do is harder and that is to control your breathing. Slow, deep breaths. Really concentrate on both. These are skills. Believe it or not, no one is born a better listener, its a learned skill.

You may want to also become more active by sharing your own activities or whatever is relevant to the conversation. If you're not a person who initiates conversation, try more of that.

Yes you may be more self absorbed than others you compare yourself to, but in reality, we're all pretty self absorbed. Conversation is a skill. Its a very good skill, however, and it improves with practice. Even if the person you are conversing with is boring as hell.

Good luck and thank you for the conversation. :)

[TK421]

28. I've read your post....you have shed some light on the subject

You're right about one thing for certain...I don't ask questions of others. I think that sometimes it seems to me that I am being nosy for doing so; I don't even ask people if they are married or seeing someone because I feel that it is none of my business. That might be a problem, since most people ( I think ) would expect those questions.

If I'm talking to someone about something that I am passionate about ( movies, books, getting Bush impeached, etc.... ) then the conversation does seem to progress. Sometimes I feel like I'm being insensitive, but I think I know better now.

Your point of asking questions rather than anticipating blather makes a great deal of sense...thank you for that. :thumbsup:

[MichiganVote]

34. Nah, you're not being nosy. You're just showing interest. Nosy is when you know the answer..

will somehow make you feel superior to another. That doesn't sound like you. People like other people to show interest in them. And most of the time, people recognize it as mere curiosity. You may feel curiosity more about other stuff than people and that's ok. Its just a skill to learn how to ask people to reveal themselves respectfully. But if you never try, you'll never learn how to do it like a God. :)

The "art" of conversation is a little like learning to steer a sailboat....you just never know where its going to go but you can always have a hand in the steering. Discourse is a powerful tool.

I have two sons. One is exceedingly quiet around us but loves to talk about what he is interested in. Conversation with him can be laborious. The other blabs all day, everyday, about anything and everything. Temperament plays a factor too.

[rug]

5. There are several things you might tr

:boring:

[TK421]

10. Well....one thing in my favor is I don't have narcolepsy (sp)?

Hey....HEY wake up!!!

[shanti]

45. narcolepsy

the real thing...isn't exactly a laughing matter tho. i knew someone with it and it's an unpleasant condition to be in. if my friend sat down, he would fall asleep - anywhere. suffice to say, he didn't drive. we couldn't do anything together.

[TK421]

46. Sorry to hear that....I don't know anyone with it, except the person who responded

to that post, but I have never met them, either....:(

[supernova]

7. Well, most men

ok, it's a generalization :P , seriously don't enjoy small talk or chit chat that they don't see any reason for.


Bottom line: You're hardly unusual if you find yourself yawning at a coworker's mindless patter.


I'm that way myself, and I'm a female. Go figure.

[idgiehkt]

9. unless it's about sports.

;) :rofl:

[TK421]

11. and I don't even care for sports

but I've noticed this happening even with close relatives, and it's starting to bother me

[idgiehkt]

13. it isn't them then

it could be your mental focus, but that would apply to more than just people talking, unless the only reason that you are noticing having a hard time focusing in that area is because they are telling you you have a problem. It might be time to go to the doctor, if it is affecting other areas of your life. Have you thought about maybe getting your hearing evaluated? Or maybe you have an overgrowth of yeast in your body, that can cause 'brain fog'. Of course if you go to the doctor you could spend a whole lot of money, internet research on 'lack of concentration or focus', etc might be the best way to deal with it.

[TK421]

15. My eyesight sucks, but my hearing is top-notch

I don't think this warrants a trip to the doctor. I have a theory that it is because I have been in customer service oriented jobs throughout my working life and have gotten used to tuning out certain people...problem is, I think I am tuning out the wrong people as of late

[supernova]

12. True dat

Arcane sports trivia rulez!! The more obscure the better!

[LeftyFingerPop]

14. Here's my opinion after reading this...

I'm not usually serious on here, but this will be a serious response.

A person I met in a work situation did this to me several years ago, and it made an impression on me because I thought I was boring him. So people do notice.

That, coupled with the fact that you are concerned enough to seek advice here, tells me that it has become a problem for you.

I have no idea of your age, health, etc., but it would not hurt to express your concerns to your doctor. He might give you a physical, and look for things like sleep apnea, etc. Again, if you are concerned enough to ask about it, it's worth getting checked out.

Best of luck.

[TK421]

17. Thanks, but I don't think a doctors visit is necessary

simply because it doesn't interfere with my everyday life to a point where it causes serious problems.

Roughly seventy-five percent of my job involves talking to people on the phone...and as Southpawkicker mentioned, sometimes they drone on and on and on about things that are not directly related to the calls purpose. I sometimes find myself holding the phone away from my ear and when I hear silence I get back on and say something like "Well, I know how that is". I think it may be my line of work.

[TK421]

22. And I hate getting physicals.....especially when they ask you to drop

your pants and start feeling your...you know. Only ONE person touches those

[mzteris]

19. do you have ANY other

new oddities, abnormalities, symptoms, or just general bothersome "things" of an indeterminate nature?

Out of breath more often?
Tired?
Sore joints or muscles?
Achy?
Forgetful?
Irritable?
etc.....

[TK421]

20. I can easily pick irritable from that list....I have been going through

some financial shit lately ( credit cards ) that may creep it's way into my social life; no physical ailments

[BlackVelvet04]

21. Have you ever been examined for attention

deficit disorder? I have a fairly mild case of A.D.D. and I do the same thing. I find if someone takes more than 30 seconds to answer a question I just can't concentrate.

[TK421]

23. I haven't... but I don't think that's the case at all

sometimes though, I will drift but not every time

[Skittles]

24. yes this happens to me

because the person talking usually has no point and is boring me to the point of tears....

[TK421]

29. That is the case most of the time, I think....however, sometimes it is a loved one

talking about their day and I find myself wanting to get off of the phone ( sounds horrible, doesn't it )? It's not that I don't want to talk to the person, but sometimes it seems like I don't have the energy to expend on conversation ( which would negate my claim of healthy diet, no health problems or lack of sleep....take your pick ). This whole thing could just be nothing for all I know

[Skittles]

30. I hate talking on the phone

I solved that by not answering it

[TK421]

32. Caller I.D or just don't pick it up?

I'm guilty of picking up my phone knowing who is calling me and thinking that it may be an emergency. That is the only reason I don't screen phone calls.....if I had, then I probably wouldn't have found out when my mother was taken to the hospital for a stroke

[Skittles]

43. I unplug the damn thing

cannot help my mum who is thousands of miles away

[TK421]

44. Point taken...although my relatives are all within a 30 mile radius of me

not counting a brother who lives in Germany, I understand that :thumbsup:

[StarryNite]

25. Sure, go to the doctor...

I'm sure there is a pill for what you have. There is a pill for everything these days. A good part of the time the side effects are worse than what the darn thing is supposed to be treating but look at the bright side, Big Pharma will love you!

[LeftyFingerPop]

27. yeah, it would indeed be terrible if he....

had an undiagnosed medical problem and he went to the doctor to find out what it was. :sarcasm:

[TK421]

33. I'm not sure how that was intended

:shrug: Of course, I've had a few beers, so forgive me

[LeftyFingerPop]

36. That's ok, I've had some wine...

I took your post as meaning that he should not go to the doctor. I used sarcasm to say that I disagree with that. Many conditions, possibly serious, possibly not, have weird symptoms (like unusual yawning) that only a doctor can diagnose. I feel that encouraging a person not to see a doctor because of a hatred of big pharma is irresponsible.

Have a good evening. :hi:

[TK421]

38. And I thought that was what you meant, too

thanks :toast: What kind of wine?

[LeftyFingerPop]

39. Sutter Home Merlot...nothing too special...

and just one of those tiny bottles. What kind of beer for you? :toast:

[TK421]

40. Yuengling lager, have you heard of it? It's from Pennsylvania

Talking about Merlots ( and I like Cabs, too ) a good one to try is Blackstone Merlot. I picked up a bottle for my sister and she polished off a bottle of it in about an hour with a friend. It is very smooth, not too heavy on the tannins and easy on the palate. I'm a red wine enthusiast myself, and there are plenty of others to recommend: Their website:http://www.blackstonewinery.com/ Oh, relax...just enter your birthdate; I think it's just a formality or something....

Blackstone Merlot: The one I was just telling you about.....

Clois Du Bois: Yeah, sounds pretty French...doesn't it? It's also pretty damned good and not too expensive ( between $12-14 a bottle, depending on WHERE you find the thing )http://closdubois.com/home.cfm?month=8&day=25&year=1975&_send_date_.x=25&_send_date_.y=9&_send_date_=Enter

Believe it or not ( and I'm not Ripley ) Kendall Jackson Knights Valley Cabernet ( look for older ones, of course ) makes for a fine evening


If you haven't already, please do give some of these a try....they are amongst my favorites

Cheers!- Mark

[LeftyFingerPop]

41. Thanks so much for the info Mark !!...

My lids are getting heavy, but I will certainly check it out tomorrow.

Not only have I heard of Yuengling, but it is one of my favorites. In fact, I was in Baltimore this weekend. After a great Italian meal, we found ourselves in an alley bar that regularly serves 32 ounce ice cold Yuengling drafts for $4.00. That kind of price is rare in Baltimore City!

Needless to say, I had me one of those babies (ok, 2 of those babies :P ), and they were delicious.

Have a great evening. :D

[TK421]

42. They are yummy indeed! You have a good night, see you here ...sometime

who knows with me

[TK421]

31. I don't like Big Pharma....I've already had prescriptions for Xanax

in the past, and that was a temporary fix ( just like Big Pharma is for most things ). No drugs....don't need them

[Montauk6]

35. Nod a lot, go "uh-HUH" and ask a lot of questions

You'll control the tempo and look like you're intrigued at the same time. Plus, it'll help you stay awake.

[TK421]

37. That's what I do at my job, but with others who don't deserve it?

I think I do it to them unconsciously...which is what I want to stop. I do have people come up to the window and tell me their life story ( like I give a rat's hairy ass ) and there is a point where I have to give them that hint that their story is interfering with my job of providing a service TO them.

Funny how that works, isn't it?

[TK421]

47. I'm getting ready to go to bed, people...I think I MAY have figured out my problem...

I just don't like to hear people talk....maybe it's the sound of their voice, or what they are talking about...however, as I have said before, I'm not much of a talker, myself. Maybe the problem lies with me and people who need to stop being boring and get to the point of their statement ( I have found that some people can't do that...just go on and on and on ) For you older folks ( I don't mean ancient ) do you remember the Chatty Cathie dolls? Well, some people remind me of that. Sometimes I'm looking for that string on their back to go all the way to the top...but it never does.

Some people are talkers and gabbers...others are not. I definitely am not, so peace...and good night


And no....I don't need to go to the doctor for anything...thanks