Unsolicited advice on relationship breakups

[Coventina]

My fellow DUers,

I've been through a few nasty breakups. Few things can hurt you like the disintegration of a love affair. If some of the things I've learned can help anyone, it may be a way of giving some of my pain an ultimate purpose.

First, try to understand that the current rage and hurt are temporary emotional states. What you do in this temporary state can have important consequences in the future. What you say and do may haunt you for the rest of your life. Some of the things I've done during my breakups will haunt me 'til my dying day. Try not to let this happen to you.

Second, confide ONLY in one or two trusted confidantes. The rest of the world really does not need to know. And most won't respect you for exposing the dark underbelly of your failed relationship. THIS IS TRUE EVEN IF YOU ARE THE WRONGED PARTY! If someone is nosy enough to ask, a short sentence will suffice. If the police or courts need to be involved, that's fine, but people will still tire of you if you go on about dragging your deadbeat ex to court.

Third, and this is probably the hardest, try to remember that you and that person loved each other. An imperfect love, for sure, we're all human after all. 10 years from now the greatest tragedy is to only remember the hateful spite, rather than the good times.

Fourth, don't make your circle of friends have to take "sides". That's just not cool. Once again, you want to come out of this with the respect and support of your friends. You've lost enough already. If one person is CLEARLY at fault, your friends will know and act accordingly. But they will not appreciate being TOLD who they can associate with.

Well, that's probably enough.

If it helps you great, or feel free to hide the thread if this offends you. It's only meant to help.

[Coventina]

1. I'm going to give this just one kick....

:kick:

[johnnie]

2. That there is some good advice

It's been quite a while since I have hooked up with anyone, so I haven't gone though this in a while, but I remember how it feels. Bit of a drag for sure.

Now to add some of my advice - Stay single :)

[Tyler Durden]

3. Have another on me.

Nice advice...never happen.

[skygazer]

4. And most important of all

If you know someone who has been through a breakup, don't offer unsolicited advice. ;)

[Coventina]

5. It's why the caveat is in the thread title!

People can hide the thread without ever opening it!

[skygazer]

6. Oh, I was just teasing

Play on words, all that. It's good advice.