List 1 major thing you wouldn't tolerate in a relationship.

[militaryspouse]

Have you ever said you wouldn't tolerate XYZ only to find yourself tolerating it? If so why do you think you tolerate it?

[militaryspouse]

1. ..

To answer my own question. I think the longer you've been in love with someone the more you are willing to tolerate b/c you have so much time invested into the relationship. I think it's easier to not tolerate things before the relationship gets too deep b/c it's much easier to walk away.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. i resolved after my last relationship to never date someone who was a packrat or messy

but when i met lisa, it didnt seem to matter.

[Deep13]

27. Hard to be a packrat in those tiny NYC apartments.

Out here it's pretty damn easy. :shrug:

[skygazer]

3. Cocaine or heroin use

Been there, done that and want absolutely nothing to do with it ever again. I can put up with alcohol or pot, I would probably put up with other things though I'd most likely try to stop it but those two things are out of the question. It's a matter of my own health and survival.

[Taverner]

4. I dated a coke fiend once

Narcissism powder - I'm not sure if the drug just attracts narcissists or they become that way on the drug, but after a few lines you get the biggest asshole possible.

[LostinVA]

50. Agreed

[LaraMN]

5. Role inequity.

I'm off for the summer, so I think it's reasonable that I Deal with domestic and parenting issues, but I feel that when I'm in school, my husband should step up and help out around the hosue a bit, and that doesn't really happen. It feels innately disrespectful. Why do I tolerate it? Because nothing I say or do changes the situation, and I haven't got it in me to fight about it.

[Shine]

15. ...

:hug:

[Orsino]

6. Violence. n/t

[Joe Fields]

7. no sex

[BarenakedLady]

8. Hitting or abusing my kids

in ANY way.

I don't care how long I was in the relationship. Fuck that. Touch my kids and you are gone.

[DS1]

9. Being Nancy Grace

[Tektonik]

30. I wonder when's the last time she's had sex

Wait never mind I don't want to know

[Squatch]

10. Stabbing. Of me.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

11. Sexism.

I'm not your toy, bucko.

[supernova]

12. Any kind of abuse and overbearing egos

That includes verbal and physical abuse. Uncontrollable rage and narcisssim.

I don't want any of it anywhere near me. :nuke:

[no name no slogan]

13. mental/emotional abuse

I can beat the crap out of myself quite well on my own, thankyouverymuch

[Shine]

14. If it's a romantic one: Infidelity. That's deal-breaker, in my book.

:thumbsdown:

[Burma Jones]

16. coprophilia

[Generic Brad]

35. I know how to identify someone who does that

The shit eating grin is a dead give away.

[kwassa]

17. The manufacture of methamphetamines by my SO

Call me prejudiced.

[LynneSin]

18. Republicanism

:D

[triguy46]

21. Should be #1.

[Withywindle]

19. Anger management problems.

Ickiest red flag there is.

[Inchworm]

20. Lies!

As to the other question. Only tolerated it from the evil mother of my daughter because it was best for my child (well I thought so at the time).

:hi:

[triguy46]

45. Like was said in post 18, republicanism.

[anarch]

22. spontaneous human combustion

[Hugin]

23. That's hot!

:rofl:

[Deep13]

29. Yeah, I know what you mean.

Three days after she moved in and :nuke:. There was nothing left but a foot. I had to ask her to hop out. I felt bad since it wasn't her fault and I didn't complain about the sofa she scorched, but still it was over.

[LisaM]

24. Conservatism, Republicanism

Other than actual abuse, I think that is the line. I don't need to waste my time with anyone who's turned his back on humanity.

[Godhumor]

25. Still don't tolerate it: smoking

Yes, there's a lot of other major issues I will not have anything to do with, and I don't mean to trivialize some of the truly horrible things that can and do happen to people. That said, I just can not abide smoking, at all. I never dated someone who lit up, which was put to the challenge living in Japan where it seems everyone likes their nicotine.

Thankfully, I met my wife there, and I landed one of the very few non-smokers I came across in 2 years of staying in that country.

[Deep13]

26. Failing to be Gizmonic.

:loveya: :hug:

[SarahB]

28. control freak

[xchrom]

31. being dull -- i won't and so far haven't

allow that to become a fixed feature.

[Mad_Dem_X]

32. Two things I would absolutely NOT tolerate in my marriage:

Abuse and adultery. No way, no how.

[BlueIris]

33. Ignorance of feminism or progressivism.

You have to be familiar and actively living in accordance with both of those concepts for me to consider you a worthwhile potential companion.

[Hugin]

34. Potato Salad...

Stuffed Bell Peppers...

Mayo on the burgers...

All major deal breakers.

[BarenakedLady]

37. But have you tried

German potato salad? Very different species.

[Hugin]

38. I might make an exception...

Only if it looks different.

Which, I think German Potato Salad does.

[SarahB]

36. One more: guys who coat their chicken in cornflakes. nt

[musiclawyer]

39. Borderline Personality

I used to attrack them like bees to nectar


Can't keep a job for some reason; always in debt; Always a fucked up parent; always looking for a short cut; Total riot/fun to be with. Pull you in-push you away. Insecure despite being beautiful. Make shit up just to create chaos. I can spot them now a mile away.

[supernova]

40. I was married to one of those

too a long time ago. :hug:

Congrats on getting away. :toast:

[SteppingRazor]

41. How is it that this thread has gone through 40 posts without anyone saying "Cheating"?

Or did I miss it?

I mean, for me, that'd be No. 1.

[BarenakedLady]

42. You missed it (n/t)

[fudge stripe cookays]

44. Check post 14.

It's my number 1 too, btw.

[WinkyDink]

43. Infidelity. Scorpios don't stand for that!

[SammyWinstonJack]

46. Not sharing 50/50, the household responsibilities?

:evilgrin:

[SeattleGirl]

47. Abuse of any kind.

Been there, and won't go there again.

[CTyankee]

48. If he was a Republican! Intolerable!

[dysfunctional press]

49. monogomy.

not a lifetime of it, anyway.

[TZ]

51. outside of infidelity..lack of intelligence

I just can't date anyone less intelligent than me..tried it a couple of times and it NEVER works....

[JVS]

52. Impiety!

[pitohui]

53. i don't tolerate yelling and screaming

and no i don't tolerate nor would it even come up, as my hubbie has the best most laid back personality evah, i know i'm lucky

drama queens begone!

[Katina]

54. abuse

physical or mental

[Beaverhausen]

55. Being irresponsible with money

before I moved in with my boyfriend, it really drove me nuts how irresponsible he was with money.

But yes, after time, I have learned to accept it, even though I am slowly but surely giving him help getting him to be more concerned with his financial "health" and he is willing to make some changes. Things are getting better in that area, but of course there is still room for improvement.

[uppityperson]

56. Violence.

[maveric]

57. Lying, cheating and abuse.

Nuff said!

[rug]

58. Intolerance.

[Guava Jelly]

59. a restraining order

Thats a real deal breaker :D

[Mz Pip]

60. Arrogance

I dated a guy decades ago who was an expert on everything - particularly on how I should have been living my life.

I wouldn't tolerate abuse or infidelity or addiction either. But absent those things, know it all arrogance is a real buzz kill for me.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[no name no slogan]

61. Someone who won't swallow

their pride once in awhile and admit their faults.

What did you think I was gonna say, you buncha preverts?

[LostInAnomie]

62. Hogging the covers...

... from my other girlfriends.

QUIT BEING SO DAMN SELFISH! THEY GET COLD TOO!

[Beaverhausen]

63. Read the second half of the question people

I reprint it here:

Have you ever said you wouldn't tolerate XYZ only to find yourself tolerating it? If so why do you think you tolerate it?

[pitohui]

65. then the answer is no and there's nothing to talk about

for the most part a deal breaker is just that, a deal breaker, if a person has even minimal self esteem then there are some shit up with which they will not put :shrug:

it's a pretty short thread if you only accept answers from people who say, yeah dude, i was never gonna tolerate that shit...until i did!

[Qanisqineq]

74. Yes

Yes, I find myself tolerating it. Why? Too difficult to leave right now and scared of being on my own again.

[hippiechick]

64. Narcissism

:spank: Narcissists tend to lie, cheat, and make everything about them while belittling the hell out of you.

Some sick puppies, IMO.

[Skittles]

66. hunting

people who think blasting away animals is a swell, fun thing to do make me S I C K

[flvegan]

67. Eating meat.

Total deal breaker.

[LeftyMom]

72. I was going to say that, but well... I don't have to.

:loveya:

[XemaSab]

68. lies

especially about disease :scared:

[femmocrat]

69. Hunting.

I swore I would never date a hunter and to my knowledge, I never have! I could never put up with someone who kills animals for "sport".

[wildhorses]

70. telling lies

x(

[mitchum]

71. Necrophilia can be a grave mistake

[Adsos Letter]

73. Abuse

Physical, Verbal, or Mental. There. Is. No. Damn. Excuse. For. It.

Period.