Beer and sex myths

[catmandu57]

A couple i remember from my younger days. If the seam on your can matched exactly with the opening, then you were going to get laid. On a bottle of Olympia beer, if you carefully peeled back the label and there were four stars, then you were going to get laid.

I don't know how many cans that the seam and the hole lined up on or how many four star labels I found they never worked, for me anyway, but I kept trying because I knew for certain that if I kept on trying one of those days it was going to work.

Besides that, getting blasted was a form of recreation, especially in a small town with nothing else to do.

[Crazy Dave]

1. Fact

The more cans that you and your date drank, the better the odds were at getting laid.

[Beer Snob-50]

10. it can also have dire effects

one weekend at my gf at the time's college dorm room, we got stinking drunk on jd. she offered to please me using her hands. i accepted and she started. a few minutes later, blood was spurting all over the place and she was laughing hysterically. the ring on her finger (with some kind of stone) turned around and cut my little guy to shreds.

[Crazy Dave]

13. She thought it was funny?

Lorena Bobbit?

[Beer Snob-50]

16. we were intoxicated so i thought it was a nervous laugh

(at least i hope that is what it was)

[bigwillq]

20. Oh my.

:scared:

[skygazer]

2. May I point out

Just how pathetic that is? :rofl:

[Tyler Durden]

3. May I point out

How pathetic most men are?

It's part of our charm: I don't know any guys (except for the BAC Fundies) who haven't gotten at least one "Charity F***"

How pathetic is THAT???

[skygazer]

4. That's true - it IS part of your charm

Kind of like a mournful hound dog - you take pity when they keep following you around with those big eyes....

I love you guys, I really do. :loveya:

[Tyler Durden]

5. aaarOOOOOO!! whine, whimper whimper whine.

[HEyHEY]

6. Without them, I'd be a virgin

[jobycom]

9. I've never gotten one.

How pathetic is THAT? :cry:

[Tyler Durden]

11. You need to practice your "sad big eyes" look.

Brush up on your howling and whining, too.

[jobycom]

12. Might be easier than plan A

Which was to become really rich and buy a Lotus. So far, I'm getting slowed down by that first step.

[Tyler Durden]

15. Nah. You don't WANT the ones that will do the money and the Lotus.

If you want a hooker, go cheap.

Big sad eyes, mournful whining, when she starts scratching behind the ears you're halfway home.

[BOSSHOG]

7. I must share

a Bourbon Street T-Shirt somewhat related to this topic:

BUY ME ANOTHER BEER, YOU'RE STILL UGLY

[AllegroRondo]

8. when I played in bar bands, I had a shirt that said

The more you drink, the better we sound
the more we drink, the better you look

so BUY THE BAND A BEER!

[Rising Phoenix]

14. if you peel the label off your beer bottle then you are

sexually frustrated

[catmandu57]

17. I said my younger days

You know it's bad though when in the sexual revolution you rely on beer container myths to forcast your sex life.

[deucemagnet]

18. Seams on beer cans?

Psst! Your age is showing! (I bet they had the kind pop tops with the ring you stuck your finger in and peeled off, too :P )

[pokerfan]

19. Olympia stubbies

They were dots not stars. Anywhere from one dot to four. The legend is that if you got a girl to sign a label, the number of dots would represent how far you could go, with the dots representing bases, first base, second base, etc.

[Lyric]

21. If you collected beer can tabs you could trade them in for

...:evilgrin: