Man Busted For Having Sex With His Bicycle

[matcom]

<snip>

A MAN has been charged with having sex with his bike.

Robert Stewart was allegedly caught in the act by two terrified cleaners who walked into his bedroom in a hostel.

Stewart has denied the accusation, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The 51-year-old bachelor was charged with the bizarre sexual offence after he was disturbed by the cleaner and her colleague in a private hostel in Ayr.

The charge alleges he conducted himself in a disorderly manner, simulated sex with a bicycle and continued to do so while naked from the waist down in the presence of two female employees.

http://www.sundaymail.co.uk/news/tm_headline=accused---of-having-sex-with-his-bike--&method=full&objectid=19347288&siteid=64736-name_page.html

[AllegroRondo]

1. somewhere in Hollywood

theres a small studio that makes movies for that fetish...

[peekaloo]

2. Schwinng!

[ChoralScholar]

3. Ooooh... that will be caught by a very limited number of people

and those people will wish they hadn't gotten it.

:)

[supernova]

20. I'm one of those!

:blush:

:rofl:

[lost-in-nj]

35. I got it to!!!!!

:evilgrin: :rofl: :rofl:

lost

[Maine-ah]

44. another here

:rofl:

[racaulk]

7. Ha ha!

Very good! :rofl:

[Dr. Strange]

8. Ooooh, so bad.

Must resist urge to laugh...

:rofl:

:toast:

[Arugula Latte]

22. Now that is a DUzy!

:rofl:

[WinkyDink]

23. Brilliant!

[Connonym]

26. We're not worthy!

good one!

[Orsino]

38. LOL

:yourock: :rofl:

[LeftyFingerPop]

4. It wasn't my fault...

the bike seduced me.

[Inchworm]

5. What a rack!

:hi:

[Deep13]

6. Around here I can't even go cycling in that big cemetery.

I wounder what the groundskeeper would say if someone tried that!

[KG]

9. anybody seen taterguy lately?

[BarenakedLady]

11. Hahahaha

:rofl:

[NewWaveChick1981]

...

:spray: :rofl: Yeah, where IS he???? :shrug:

[taterguy]

21. Here he is having a post-coital cigarette

Damn pevy guy

[bullwinkle428]

28. I didn't have the cojones to make a taterguy reference

when I first read the post...glad someone else did!! :thumbsup: :rofl:

[xchrom]

10. how do you DO that exactly?

:shrug:

[Dr. Strange]

12. In the age of "safe sex,"

you can't. You just can't.

[xchrom]

15. does seem like you'd hurt yourself doing that.

[LeftyFingerPop]

13. it's not that difficult...

but you need A LOT of WD-40.

[xchrom]

14. well then no wonder the cleaners complained.

[Oeditpus Rex]

16. He wasn't wearing a helmet?

:shrug:

[skygazer]

17. The bicycle probably asked for it

I'll bet it had a skimpy chainguard and some provacative decals on it.

[kay1864]

41. LOL!

:thumbsup:

[NewWaveChick1981]

18. Better call Bicycle Repairman!

[Oeditpus Rex]

25. 'See how he uses a spanner

to tighten that nut!"

:scared:

[pdx_prog]

30. In this case it might have to be...

"Bicycle Therapist"

[edbermac]

19. He was just greasing his wheels.

:7

[ThomCat]

24. Once you learn how to ride a bike

You never forget. :P

Now his friends know why he always wanted to go on biking excursions alone.

[rug]

27. Imagine what he does with a unicycle.

[Orsino]

39. Now, don't go trying to change the traditional definition of cyclosexuality.

Damned liberals.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

29. why cant he have sex with his bicycle? if he wants to, and hes doing it privately

its no ones business

[Xithras]

31. Agreed. Why is it anyone's business?

What's the difference between a bike and any other sex toy? He was in his room.

As for the ladies, they DID walk into his room. The complaint is that he continued to do it "in their presence". WTF?!?! You'd think that, if they were offended, they'd have LEFT. If you walk in on someone while they're masturbating and are offended, JUST LEAVE...there's no reason for them to stop if they're enjoying themselves :)

It's not like he was doing it in a park.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

32. exaclty what i was thinking.

[eyepaddle]

33. Yeah, that pretty much sums it all up.

However, if they have some kind of against this, I doubt logic will intrude into the court's decision.

I must admit to being scared at all of the sharp pointy things on a bicycle though!

[redqueen]

37. same thing i was wondering...

this is a crime?

:shrug:

[ClassWarfare2008]

42. But did the bicycle consent?

That's the real question.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

43. the question is how far should the government involve itself in ones sex life.

[texas1928]

34. How?!?

Wouldn't it get hung in the chain, or spokes?!?

I am trying to figure out the logistics of that.


How do you F*** a bicycle?

[unsavedtrash]

36. "I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle."

This reminds me of the guys who have sex with cars.
(site is a bit explicit)--> http://blackroses.textfiles.com/sex/sex-cars.faq

and the "Love Me Love My Doll" guys. http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/245/index.jsp

[FloridaJudy]

40. As long as it was a consenting adult bicycle

I don't see the problem

(Shhhh! The wing nuts will claim that if we allow gay marriages, the next thing you know people will want to marry vehicles)

[KamaAina]

45. But was it a bicycle built for two?

Guess it is now... :P