For parents trying to explain the Benoit tragedy to your children...

[Wetzelbill]

Child Psychologists On Benoit Incident
From ABCNews.com:

As a pro wrestler, Chris Benoit achieved hero status among young audiences with such moves as the "Crippler Crossface" and the "Sharpshooter."

But child psychology experts worry that the real-life violence that marked the end of his life -- in which he apparently slayed his family and killed himself in his Fayetteville, Ga., home -- may have a profound effect on his youngest fans.

"I think that this is going to be very disturbing for kids," says Nadine Kaslow, chief psychologist at Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta and a professor at Emory University's School of Medicine.

As with the loss of any hero, young fans may react with depression and disappointment.

"They've lost a hero in multiple ways," Kaslow says. "In one sense, you have the death of someone who was admired; that's a loss. But then you also have the loss of respect -- we hope -- for someone, because murder-suicide is such a severe form of domestic abuse."

http://www.legendschampionshipwrestling.com/

[enigmatic]

1. I'm still trying to process this myself

So I can only image what it's like to have to explain it to a child who admired Benoit. This is just so horrible on so many levels...

[Wetzelbill]

2. For me, ever since you sent me that email

I've been searching out information. Then when it started to look pretty grim, I kept up on the latest updates, hoping that something would come up that would show that it wasn't as bad as it sounded. I guess I just didn't want to believe that Chris Benoit was capable of something like this. But as it turned out the more details that came out, the worse it kept getting. Instead of some exoneration or something, the proof of his actions just kept getting more horrid. It's shaken me up badly. And hell, I'm an adult. I couldn't imagine how some ten year old in Calgary or Edmonton who grew up worshipping Benoit feels. Pretty rough stuff all around.

[enigmatic]

4. There's alot of shell-shocked people up here because of this

Benoit was a local hero, and like I told my friend at work today, to alot of people it's like Wayne Gretzky went out and killed his family before a Stanley Cup Final game. It's inconcievable, so you're going to get people who are having trouble dealing w/ this.

Mrs E and I are going to a local Fed show this weekend and I'm really interested to see what the buzz is going to be like about this. It's going to be surreal..

[Wetzelbill]

6. I imagine it will be the talk of the show

Canada takes it's sports heroes seriously, pro wrestlers are especially big. That's one reason why the Montreal Screw Job was such a big deal, because Brett is practically a God up there. Benoit isn't much different. He's a big-time Canadian hero, most Americans don't understand that. In fact, most people who are non-wrestling fans don't grasp this. Benoit is one of the top 10 wrestlers of the last 20-30 years, if not ever. Bill Simmons from ESPN even wrote about this story. It's the biggest sports story of the year and the biggest pro wrestling story ever. Sure it's sports entertainment, but it's relevent to sports for sure. And it's not going to go away for quite a while either.

[IndianaJones]

11. Have to somewhat disagree here....

Benoit was a great technical wrestler. Perhaps one of the greatest ever, and certainly one of the greatest of the past 10 to 15 years. However, he was always on the cusp of becoming an all-time great. What prevented him from making that transition to legend status was his personality and "mic skills". Guys like Hogan, The Rock, Austin were not great mat wrestlers, but their personalities and charisma made them great. Wrestlers like Flair, Hart, Michaels and more recently, Angle, are or were great technical wrestlers, and also great on the mic. I was a huge Benoit fan, and in the ring he was poetry...outside it, not so much.

I had made the comment years ago that I suspected Benoit was using steroids or some other performance enhancer. He got very big in a relatively short period of time. I am wondering if this had anything to do with this tragedy.

[Oeditpus Rex]

3. Y'know, I wonder why we didn't see headlines

in late November, 1963, reading, "Child psychologists advise parents on how to explain JFK assassination."

[Wetzelbill]

5. a different time, addressing depressing issues

was not as accepted as it is today. Plus this isn't exactly a headline in the NY Times, it's from a pro wrestling website that was getting lots of questions from parents looking for some help in addressing this issue, so they asked some child psychologists for advice. The internet changes a lot of things, makes information like this readily available, so even though Chris Benoit is a sports entertainer and not a head of state, the information is available for those who need it.

Also, JFK wasn't exactly an entertainer that children watched and identified with on tv every week for several years. Benoit has been on two shows that children may sometimes watch, so he's identifiable for them in that way. Kids don't care so much about a president, that's stuffy grown up stuff. Pro wrestling in certain ways is not.

[Oeditpus Rex]

7. Kids are — or were, anyway — taught to admire the president

and to recognize the presidency as the highest office in the land from an early age.

I was in second grade when JFK was murdered, and let me tell you, a kid that age is old enough to understand that something truly horrible has happened — something that shakes their beliefs, even if they don't really understand what those beliefs are. I remember feeling very insecure, because if the president can be shot and killed, what else could happen? And no one talked to us about it, not even a teacher.

That same school year, a classmate's parents were killed in an airplane crash. The only thing we were told was not to say anything that might make him feel bad.

I think grief counselors and the "What about the children?!?" crowd underestimate kids' resiliency — and overestimated it, or didn't estimate it at all, when I was a kid.

[Wetzelbill]

8. yeah from what I heard nobody addressed that stuff then

I was in first grade I think when Reagan was shot. I don't even remember anybody saying anything about it. Like when the Challenger blow up I was in fourth grade. Our teacher talked about it a little, but not much. I remember being a little kid watching this thing blow up, and we didn't get much comfort for it. A little but not much. But as I got older addressing grief became more predominant. My junior year a classmate died in an avalanche, and counselors were immediately made available. All day and at any time. I was much more capable at 17 to handle that than I was with the Challenger incident at age 10 or so. It's weird how that works out.

[pokerfan]

9. I've never got pro wrestling

I mean I appreciate the athleticism but it's still scripted. I understand that it's entertaining but it's still scripted. I'd much rather watch a MMA fight.

But, nevertheless this guy was an entertainer and had many fans. Movies and tv are scripted and I was bummed when Phil Hartman was killed and Farley and Belushi died.

So, that said, it's certainly tragic when someone is murdered but I don't understand the need for these "suiciders" to take innocents with them, be it Cho or Benoit.

So RIP Nancy and Daniel.

[MissMillie]

10. Sometimes the smartest thing you can say to your kid is, "I don't know."

And frankly, since there isn't a lot known, that would be a pretty good answer.

[NaturalHigh]

12. My wife just asked me last night...

how we are going to explain this to our son. I didn't have an answer.

[skygazer]

13. There's a lot that disturbs me about this article, frankly

I think it's rather disturbing that these child psychologists seem to find it perfectly normal that he "achieved hero status among young audiences with such moves as the "Crippler Crossface" and the "Sharpshooter." "

And now they're worried about explaining his death and that of his family.

It's not that I'm anti-wrestling (I have no real opinion on it either way - mostly find it silly) and it's not that I don't realize that kids get into it and that they'll be upset by his death.

I just find it wierd that child psychologists don't find it disturbing that kids see a hero in someone who makes his living beating other people up.

As for how to explain it, I would say vaguely. "Sometimes you don't know why things happen." That's perfectly true.

[Giant Robot]

15. I think the people interviewed

Were just explaining the reality of the situation, not affirming whether this was a good or bad thing that he was a wrestling hero. They may be disturbed by it, or think it unhealthy or what not, but they have to first start with the basic facts. Or they may have said that and it was not used in the article. I have been interviewed before and have to say that only maybe 1/10th of what I said saw public light. But really I suspect it was more just from a perspective of trying to deal with the reality of who he was and what impact this may have on people.

[Giant Robot]

14. Thanks for the article

Fortunately my child is not old enough to have to deal with things like this with her, because, unfortunately, I don't know what to say. I am saddened and angry at this situation myself, because I respected him. His in ring work was some of the best there ever was. He had no mike skills or charisma for that kind of stuff. He just got in the ring and went to work. But, fuck, he had to do this. I really want to understand what happened, but I know I can't feel the same way about him any more. Just, fuck.