TV/Movie Cliché Drop Box

[Montauk6]

1. "I'm gettin' too old for this shit..."
2. "LET'S ROCK N ROLL!!!!"
3. "Just hold me..."
4. (Trailer thing) "In a world..." or "One man..."
5. Person A totally engrossed in a work of art while Person B approaches from the side uttering something usually pretentious about the piece to both show off their knowledge and hint at some sexual attraction.
6. Character pumps upturned fist inward and yells, "YESSS!" (Becoming more common in animated features as well)
7. Danny Elfman, Beethoven's Ninth Symphony or Carmina Burana
8. "What could you have done? What could ANY OF US have done?"
9. Computer systems with huge flawlessly dazzling graphics (just for email) and loud chunky keyboards (no one ever uses a mouse to detonate a bomb).
10. Easy-to-find, never misplaced car keys.

[formerrepuke]

1. Special guest appearance by brassy over-the-hill actress as "Mother"....n/t

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

2. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Let's get out of here."

[EstimatedProphet]

3. Along with #7, Toccata and Fugue in D Minor by Bach

You'd think there's never been any other organ piece written...

[LynneSin]

4. Parking space always available right in front of the place you're going even in downtown NYC

#2 is it's always raining when there is a funeral

[Hugin]

5. "Did you hear something?"

[lost-in-nj]

6. Don't have sex

in a horror movie
and if you do don't go in the basement to see what the noise was




lost

[sarge43]

9. Or take your summer vacation in a place that has had multiple,

bloody, unsolved murders for the past 50 years.

[myrna minx]

7. A baguette is always poking out of every grocery bag,

and grocery bags are always overflowing with food.

[AllegroRondo]

13. and carrot tops.

who buys whole carrots with the green part still attached?

[grace0418]

14. I do, but I don't leave them hanging out of the bag. n/t

[sarge43]

27. And spaghetti which always gets spilled all over the sidewake.

Doesn't anyone in the movies buy spaghetti in packages or boxes?

[AwakeAtLast]

63. With oranges. n/t

[Left Is Write]

92. Baguette, celery, carrot tops.

Also, everyone brings home exactly two brown bags of groceries. No more, no fewer, and always brown bags.

[Montauk6]

8. Another one that's becoming TOO commonplace for my taste

Stress/shock/anguish must always be expressed by graphic projectile vomit.

[driver8]

19. I've noticed that, too.

Who are the geniuses who came up with that idea??

[Montauk6]

25. People who THINK they're being edgy and hip.

[JVS]

53. what movies are you watching?

[querelle]

10. All Phone #'s......

.....have 555 for their exchange. Isn't there another exchange in movieland?

Q

[Montauk6]

12. Way back when wasn't it Echo Valley or Murray Hill?

[datasuspect]

69. KLondike 5-5555

[grace0418]

16. They reserve that purposefully for movies and tv so people don't have to suffer

through having movie geeks call them every time a phone number shows up in a movie or show.

Remember when that song came out called "867-5309"? People with that phone number in all different area codes had to change their numbers because so many Tommy Tutone fans kept calling it.

[mitchum]

44. There's a Walter Matthau movie from the 70s "Charley Varrick"...

where a phone number does not have the 555 prefix. Caught it on cable once. One day, I'll get around to renting it and...of course...try the number :)

[bikebloke]

17. Safety exchange

I think the 555 is a blank exchange to keep jokers from phoning real people. I've seen it in books, too.

[driver8]

21. If they didn't do this, do you know how many morans would be

calling the telephone numbers from tv shows and movies??

[quiet.american]

45. Yes, but they're supposed to be creative people, there's a million ways to work around that.

JOE: What's the number?
He takes out a pencil and scribbles on the inside of a book of matches.
JOE: Got it.

*******

JANE: Listen, get back to me at --
As she turns to look over her shoulder, the sound of her voice is muffled. She turns back.
JANE: --7732.

************

DAN walks down a busy city block. He speaks into his cellphone.

DAN: Yeah, I got him on speed dial. The number's --

He is temporarily blocked from view as a passerby crosses in front of him.

DAN: Yeah. Read it back to me. That's it. Call him and let me know what happens.

(That's three scenarios to deal with it off the top of my head.) :)

[driver8]

47. Yeah, but then you'll be complaining because they are always

coming up with lame ways to hide telephone numbers!!

Seriously...your ideas are good ones. I just don't think that the writers of movies and television shows are that worried about it.

[quiet.american]

49. Call me at 555-2148 and we'll talk about it some more. ;) n/t

[begin_within]

81. I'd like to see this happen in some movie:

A: Did you get the phone number?

B: Yes, it's 555-3971.

A: That CAN'T BE it.

B: Why not?

A: Because 555 is a bogus prefix, you fool! Go back and get the real number!

[Left Is Write]

97. And speaking of phones...

How many one-sided conversations have you heard in which the person on-screen repeats everything the unseen caller says?

[cobalt1999]

11. Evil Twins

You know, even Data on Star Trek, a fucking android, has an evil twin! I think I only know about 3 people that have a twin and none are evil.

Come on!!

If I was producer, I'd fire the writers the first time the brought me an "evil twin" script, because that meant they had really been sitting at the beach or playing golf that week and not working.

[grace0418]

15. "I'm so cold" when you're about to die.

I told my husband that I'm going to say that to him as I'm dying just to make him laugh instead of cry as I go.

[cobalt1999]

22. LOL, I like it. nt.

[sarge43]

18. My faves

1. No matter what part of this country, everyone in a small rural community has a southern accent.

2. Cop flicks, the woman shrink (usually a tad twitchy herself) can't get it across to his boss that Our Hero is two giggles and one shoot out from going totally bug fuck. His boss, of course, even after plus 20 years on the force can't recognize a burnout case when he sees one.

3. No one can be happily married nor can their children be anything but smart asses or depressed druggies. Cliche that writers should only write about what they know about, but Jeez Louise.

4. All the cars are clean with no dents, scratches or primer to be seen.

5. People living in apartments or home that they couldn't possibly afford and these dwellings are either spotless magazine covers or disaster areas that the EPA would close down.

6. Contrary to poplar belief, women are not constitutionally able to run in high heels while a man holds their hand.

[AllegroRondo]

23. and cars that are all only a few years old

you never see a clunker or old Pinto in some neighbor's driveway.

[Esra Star]

48. "Our Hero is two giggles and one shoot out from going totally bug fuck"

:rofl:

That is good

[slj0101]

20. "tell my wife I love her" right before a protagonist dies.

[SacredCow]

24. Joke about back hair for no apparent reason....

Haven't noticed this as much lately, but for a while it seemed as though the lazy, hack writers would just throw in a back hair joke because they couldn't think of anything else....

And as a proud BEAR, this offends me.... :spank:

[trof]

26. Guns that never run out of ammo.

[Inchworm]

28. Chinese take-out in every refrigerator

-people answering phone without checking caller ID

-quotes from other movies in the one I'm watching

-rooms full of candles appearing magically

:hi:

[MorningGlow]

52. Buying $80 worth of Chinese takeout (usually for two people)

and eating it straight out of the containers, swapping said containers frequently. Don't these people have plates?

[mitchum]

61. And they never order from a Chinese place where the takeout comes...

in the hinged styrofoam tray. But, then again, we wouldn't know they were having Chinese without the visual shorthand of the paper carton.

[myrna minx]

87. For some reason, people in films on on TV never say "goodbye" before they

hang up the phone.

[Mad_Dem_X]

98. That one really bothers me

Why does NO ONE say "goodbye"???

[Montauk6]

29. Oh yeah, some more that come to mind

1. (CLICK... BUZZZZZZZZZZ) "Hello?... Hello?... JIGGLE JIGGLE JIGGLE (the latch/lever thingy on the phone) "HELLO!!!"
2. Only hot chicks get laid unless there's a comical, sleazy, or dysfunctional background to the scene.
3. "Well what do we have here?..."
4. (Trailer thing) James Brown's "I Feel Good" for all heartwarming comedies, "The Big Payback" for any crime drama involving or inspired by Elmore Leonard.
5. "You're not getting rid of me that easily"
6. "Just give it to me straight, Doc... how long?"
7. "This is HIGHLY IRREGULAR, Your Honor!"
8. Slow, hesitant clap evolving into a rousing standing ovation.
9. PERSON A: (after Person B tells a revealing story about his/her past)"Jesus Christ..." or "Dear God..." PERSON B: (with pained smirk) "So, now you know..."

[begin_within]

82. funny!

[Yavin4]

30. Here's Some

1. Over-use of classic rock and roll music.

2. Opening shot of a movie which is panoramic view of the city

3. One word: MONTAGE!! Which is always set to cheesy rock and roll music (See item 1).

4. Highly passionate sex scenes where people knock stuff to the floor.

[Montauk6]

31. Oh where the lighting is blue and the couple slams up against the wall, buttons flying?

I hear ya, Yav!

[Yavin4]

58. Who Knocks Over Their Figurines and Dishes To Have Sex?

I sure don't. That stuff is expensive.

[myrna minx]

88. Unless they have a fetish for smashing Hummel or Precious Moments figurines.

:hi:

[sarge43]

32. Highly passionate sex scenes .....

Ones involving every orifice in the room, yet post game she pulls the sheet up over her boobs.

[MorningGlow]

51. Or dragging the sheet off the bed

When she gets up to go to the bathroom, wrapping it around her, even though the guy, and everyone else including her personal deity has seen every inch of her already.

[datasuspect]

70. corrollary

stock "battle/war preparation montage" a la rambo

[driver8]

33. People never finish off "the killer" when they have a chance.

The killer has been stopped and he's laying dead on the ground...but is he really dead?

The protagonists check on him, but they don't ensure that he's dead and they don't kick his weapon away from him.

Hell, I would pump 4 or 5 rounds in to him just to make sure he was dead!

[Phentex]

76. and they have a discussion over the body

giving "the killer" time to wake up and start again, lol!

[Richard Steele]

79. The one that bothers me worse....

The unarmed "good guy" is being pursued by a group
of heavily armed baddies...he ambushes one, renders
him unconscious, and LEAVES THE WEAPON LYING ON THE GROUND! :banghead:

[mitchum]

34. Rag tag gang of misfits gathered together for an important mission

some of them will die

[mitchum]

35. Sam Shepardesque drifter arrives in small southwestern town...

and gets the women all hot and bothered. An independent film staple.

[jpgray]

55. Was Seven Samurai the first of that? Asphalt Jungle maybe? Or something silent?

[mitchum]

60. Hey, Asphalt Jungle is a good call...

I can't think of one before that.
The Dirty Dozen remains my favorite variation on that theme (The Wild Bunch doesn't count. That's not a movie; it's poetry) Watched it again last year. Really tightly scripted. Lee Marvin. Jim Motherfuckin' Brown. Bronson. Telly. I suspect DeNiro picked up a lot of his "psycho guy" thing from Cassavettes performance. The only thing I always wonder is...Trini Lopez?! Nothing against him, but...?

[Mad_Dem_X]

99. Or, a ragtag gang of misfits form a sports team

And of course, they win the Big Game.

[mitchum]

105. Tolerance through touchdowns!

[mitchum]

36. The wise ancient Black woman. Why don't they just go ahead and name that...

stock character "Mother Wit"?

[mitchum]

37. A charmingly sinister Christopher Walken in a 10 minute cameo

[begin_within]

83. Who always happens to be sitting on the same park bench as the protagonist,

and she gives him the crucial, key bit of advice that changes the whole course of the movie. And he thanks her profusely for it but she thinks nothing of it.

[mitchum]

38. A Rolling Stones song on the soundtrack when something "decadent" is occuring

[mitchum]

39. A nerdy little kid who is a boy genius and not just a nerdy little kid

[ReadTomPaine]

40. Stopping the explosive device with exactly one second left. n/t

[mitchum]

41. And why is there a digital time display on the outside of that bomb?

[ReadTomPaine]

42. With nice large numbers that a camera can see from 10 paces... n/t

[fudge stripe cookays]

43. Dropping the F'ing keys

...when trying to escape from a crazed killer.

FALLING when trying to escape from a crazed killer.

Being stupid enough to back up through a house when attempting to get away from aforementioned crazed killer, thereby running smack dab into THE KILLER

[AwakeAtLast]

64. And then the car doesn't start. n/t

[fudge stripe cookays]

86. Yup, forgot that one.

Thanks! :D

[quiet.american]

46. "Is he.....?"

"Is she....?"

Usually asked while staring at the body.

[jpgray]

56. Good one

[JVS]

50. could you imagine if a movie had a 7 minute finding the keys scene.

I smell Oscar

[jpgray]

54. (looking at sky) Nooooooooooo!

[jpgray]

57. Hurt soldier takes fucking -forever- to die while relating pseudo-emotional pap to tearful comrade

[sarge43]

77. You mean Private Deadmeat?

He had his ticket punched the minute he read to the squad the letter from his girl friend, Debbie Sue. The old tough, but wise platoon sergeant was thinking, "Give me those dog tags now, Meat. Save us picking through your goo in the next scene."

[Yavin4]

59. The Villain That Goes Into A Soliloquy Thus Giving The Hero Time To Escape

There's James Bond in a room of about 1,000 henchmen with machine guns pointed right at him, but instead of the villain giving the shoot order, he goes into a long, long, long diatribe.

Fucking shoot James Bond already.

[sarge43]

73. Great slam of that one in The Incredibles

"You got me monologuing!"

[NewJeffCT]

94. but, then we wouldn't get those classic lines

Bond "You expect me to talk?"

Bad Guy: "No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!"

[CBHagman]

62. You forgot our heroes/heroines running away from explosions...

...they are silhouetted against fire as they fall in slow motion in the direction of the camera, and no one ever has broken bones or burns of any degree.

I particularly hate that one. It's in all trailers, right up there with "O Fortuna" and "In a world...one man..."

I also hate the way male protagonists don't feel any pain during fights and land punches, take them, etc., with no apparent result. One exception I can think of is Crazy from the Heart, a cable movie. There's a scene in that where William Russ and Ruben Blades get into a fight. It's undignified and looks painful, and they both limp/stagger away from it.

[LibDemAlways]

65. Every time a character receives a gift, it's in a box

that looks like it has a big bow wrapped around it, but the top just conveniently comes right off. No unwrapping necessary. I've never seen a present like that in my entire life. But in the movies and on tv, they're everywhere.

[idgiehkt]

66. "I'm going in!" used in action movies

that one needs to be retired.

[datasuspect]

67. if you came up with this list yourself

i unreservedly offer you my deepest sincerest heartfelt respect.

i have never seen such a masterful distillation!

[Squeegee]

68. "My God, what have I done?!?" (nt)

[jpgray]

71. Characters who are unrealistically attractive in mundane, go-nowhere jobs

The corollary is unattractive males in relationships with extremely attractive females. And of course, character acting for young roles is almost wholly a male dominion.

[Fire Walk With Me]

72. Hosing down a street for purty night shots

and related abuses.

But it does look nice...can't blame them.

[sarge43]

74. Don't forget the solo alto sax on the sound track. n/t

[mitchum]

90. Carl Reiner's parody of neo-noir "Fatal Instinct" actually has Clarence Clemmons...

walking through several scenes while playing the obligatory moody sax

[begin_within]

84. And that steam illuminated with blue lights, that seems to be there for no reason

other than to look good.

[Fire Walk With Me]

91. Forests with mysterious klieg light installations to heighten mood are also suspicious

Shining through the mist..

[begin_within]

95. Also when they try to simulate moonlight by filming in the sunshine, then darkening it

later in post-production. It always looks so fake. It's more common in older movies, but I have even seen it recently. You can see the glints of sunlight shining off of objects, and the distinct shadows that sunlight makes. They think that just by darkening the whole picture, people will think it's nighttime and that it's in the moonlight. But moonlight being blocked by a person doesn't make nearly as distinct of a shadow as the in the daylight.

[sarge43]

102. Oh yes, the ones that were following the Nazgul through the Shire. n/t

[Phentex]

75. Car chase scenes ... always knock over fruit/veggie stands

and the people jump out of the way just before the fruit goes flying.

[begin_within]

85. Roger Ebert made fun of that in one of his articles,

and there was some movie that even included an "obligatory Siskel-Ebert fruit cart toppling" as a joke.

[begin_within]

78. There's a whole web site about this subject...

http://moviecliches.com/

My personal pet peeve is that nobody ever says "goodbye" when hanging up the phone. They always just say, "Oh my God. I'll be right there!" and slowly hang up the phone as they are staring out the window.
Also, if someone hangs up on them, they take the phone away from their ear and look at it, as if the phone itself did it.
Also, when someone dies, they utter one last memorable line, then suddenly go limp.

[NewJeffCT]

100. good site

I like the woman how men are in leather jackets & jeans, while the female is in a halter top & cutoffs.

[begin_within]

80. dupe

[displacedtexan]

89. Women having sex wearing bras

Since the "nudity clauses" came into fashion, this
completely unrealistic "sex with bras on" just
makes the scene look stupid.

[Aristus]

93. I sent this one in to Roger Ebert: The Lady MacBeth Shower Of Penitance:

Whenever a character (almost always female) is consumed with guilt over something, she always feels the need to take a shower, and stand under the spray, inanimate and unfeeling; staring into space as she is wrenched with guilt.

Also: The Lady MacBeth Shower Of Penitance Nudity Exemption - If a female charcter takes a shower it is almost always in order to show up nude to secure an R rating. Exception: the LMSOP, where the charcter's naughty bits are tastefully covered by her hands, arms, the shower curtain, etc.

[NewJeffCT]

96. The minions of the main bad guy can't shoot worth a damn

the storm troopers in star wars.

all those vietnamese against Rambo

[sarge43]

101. And his guards can't spot a bull in a china shop, let alone

Our Hero sneaking through the tall grass.

[Recovered Repug]

103. 1) C'mon, let's get out of here.

2) Endless bullets, unless the bad guy runs out when he has the good guy cornered.
3) Everyone knows karate.
4) Car flip in the air when they strike the side of another car.

[charlie and algernon]

104. #4

Driven, with Sylvester Stallone as an indy car driver was filled with that. every crash resulted in death-defying flips with the car always landing upside down. i've seen tons of races in all formats and those kinds of crashes are very very rare. they don't happen 3 times a race! lol