My Wife Has Invasive Ductal Cancer And May Need A Mastectomy. Anyone Have Info Or Experience?

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

After several weeks of anxious fear and waiting, my wife had 3 lumps in her breast surgically removed yesterday. Throughout the whole process the last few weeks, everyone involved kept telling us how certain they were everything was benign. After the operation yesterday, after all 3 were removed, the doctor said again confidently that she believed all 3 to be benign and nothing to worry about.

Then we got the call today. All 3 are malignant. My emotions are all over the place but no where near what my wife must be going through right now. Because the lumps were in different areas of her breast, the doctor thinks that lumpectomies are not an option due to there not being enough tissue. Because my wife is young (34) the doctor is thinking about a mastectomy due to the lack of tissue for a lumpectomy and also for the benefit of just getting rid of the potential future problems altogether.

We don't know if it has spread to lymph nodes or not. One of the small tumors at the 3 oclock position had what the pathologist claims was a lymph node in it, but the doctor said she's not sure if that's right. But either way, they're still going to have to check the lymph nodes under her arms.

We're in a state of shock right now as this was the last thing we expected to hear. My wife is in shambles and asked me if I could post a thread seeking further information on the subject, such as personal experiences or general information. She also is curious about what to expect from a mastectomy. How painful is it? How long will she be out of work? Things like that.

Thanks for any information you have.

[Pithlet]

1. I'm so sorry to hear this.

I wish for a full recovery for your wife. You and she will be in my thoughts :hug:

I have no personal experience with this, but did want to tell you we have a cancer support group here at DU. Please take care and keep us updated. http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=380

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

2. Thank You So Much. I Had No Idea We Had A Group Here For That. I Should've Looked.

I wanted to look for some support groups for her because I know hearing experiences from others will help her get through this. I think it's wonderful that we have one right here and I'm going to go check it out. Thanks so much for the link.

[Pithlet]

4. You're welcome.

And you're perfectly welcome to post here in the lounge for support as well. :hug:

[Radio_Lady]

14. OMC, you've got top talent in surgery in the Northeast.

(I'm assuming you are still in NJ.)

Perhaps there are clinical trials available in the NY/NJ area.

Believe it or not, if I were your wife, I'd also try contacting Elizabeth Edwards. You might just hear back from her.

[enigmatic]

3. I'm sorry, OMC

No advice that I can give, just :hug: to you and your wife...

[SPKrazy]

5. Sorry to hear this OMC

I don't know anything about it, but I would check with the http://www.cancer.gov/ National Institutes Of Health Cancer Institute

:hug:

[seemunkee]

11. 1-800-4-CANCER

For quicker results.
My wife used to work the phones before moving to clinical trials. They can help you get info.

Best wishes to you and your wife.

[bigwillq]

6. Your wife and you

have my best wishes. Sending out my best vibes.

I don't have any info. to offer you just my support and love.

Take care.

:hug:

[Hugin]

7. That is very scary... Please take care!

And I hope it all eventually works out for the best.

x(

[Radio_Lady]

8. Very serious -- there are support groups and breast cancer survivors run them.

I don't know how to find them except you might start with the American Cancer Society.

You made my problem yesterday seem miniscule. I've just gotten a heart test due to "atypical chest pain." My Thallium stress test was "abnormal." I have to decide whether to go further with testing and have been referred to an interventional cardiologist for a possible angiogram. I've been on the telephone with a bunch of people trying to learn all I can about this illness -- both my parents succumbed to heart disease, and several grandparents, too.

We all live out our numbered days. My heart (whatever state it's in) goes out to you. I'm spiritual, not religious, but, "May God hold you and your wife in the hollow of His hand."

My ex-husband was diagnosed with invasive bladder and then lung cancer in March 2006. He was a smoker since teenage, and it finally caught up with him. He and his wife of 30+ years supported and loved each other bravely until he passed on December 1, 2006.

Life is brief -- we talk about "forever" but it isn't true.

[Parche]

9. Cancer

My mom had both removed back in 1975 and is still with us today....she is a survivor!! :hug: :hi:

[SeattleGirl]

10. Oh, God, OMC. I am so, so sorry to hear this.

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1994. She was able to have a lumpectomy, and that, along with radiation and chemo, did the trick, and she has been cancer-free since then.

One of the things that was so helpful to her was that one of her closest friends is an oncology nurse (mom worked at a hospital for years). Jackie was helpful in explaining the different drugs to mom, as well as the radiation procedure, etc. But the most important thing she was able to do was give mom support. Lots of other people did too, including me and my siblings and all the spouses.

I know that for my mom, information on the cancer, and on the treatment, was very important to her. I know that not everyone has a close friend who is an oncology nurse, but I know that you and your wife can get information from the doctor, from the American Cancer Society, Susan G. Komen Foundation, and other places. Also, you might want to look online at WebMD and MedLinePLUS for information.

In terms of support, I second the suggestion that you check out the cancer support forum here on DU. I would also suggest that you two look at local support groups (for you as well as for your wife, as this of course affects you too). You two CAN get through this, but you will need information and support along the way.

My heart goes out to your wife and you. I will hold you in my thoughts and prayers. :hug:

[conscious evolution]

12. That totally sucks OMC

Sending good vibes her way.
Wish I had some good advice to send your way ,but frankly,I got nothing.Never had to deal with such a situation.

[SacredCow]

13. My sister had a double mastectomy last year....

with the subsequent reconstruction. The way it all happened was very similar to your wife's experience. Overall, she did quite well and believe me- she is NOT one who suffers silently. The previous year she had to have a hysterectomy, and I think that was significantly worse. She was out of work for a good couple of months, but did do some work from home. Now, her biggest problem is that some of the medication might be causing some depressive issues but as for physical health she made a full recovery.

I feel for both of you right now... but know that there are LOTS of folks out there that have fought similar battles and won. With the love and support of each other and your family-friend network, she can too!

Next time I speak with my sister, I'll ask if she has any more personal advice...

[Radio_Lady]

15. To EVERY woman out there, please self examine monthly and get a yearly mammogram.

Starting at age 40-45 for women with dense breasts, and even earlier if you have a family history of breast cancer.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

18. I Would Actually Widen That To Even Younger. My Wife Is 34 And No History Of BC In Her Family.

That's why we're so shocked by this development. According to all sources including the doctors looking at the xrays/mammograms etc, this was supposed to be benign. She never really did self exams too much and never had a mammogram. But one day in the shower just through normal soaping she felt a lump. Xrays revealed 2 others and now we know all 3 were malignant. I never thought someone so young with no family history or other risk factors, could be diagnosed with it. Now I realize how ignorant I had been.

[Radio_Lady]

44. How awful for you! As a society, we just don't make enough progress against the Big C...

So much money spent and so little to show for it.

Please stay strong, OMC.

By the way, I am married to a man whose wife died of stomach cancer at the age of 34. No history of cancer as far as we know.

RIP, Lee. I raised your three kids and I wish you had been around to do it yourself.

[OzarkDem]

58. Mammography can't find it at that early age

There's no way to detect it really early in that situation. Younger women's breasts are very dense because they have so much estrogen circulating in their system. Like trying to find a polar bear in a snowstorm.

That doesn't mean it can't be treated successfully, though.

[JVS]

16. I know nothing. I hope things go well

[Yavin4]

17. First, I Wish Your Wife and You Well

I went through this with my older sister about 13 years ago. I told her that she needed to get as much information about this as possible. She had to research her condition, but she was a fundie and told me that she had Jesus instead.

Unfortunately, she lost her battle with the disease 5 years later. My advice to you is to immediately get in touch with people and doctors who have been down this road before you. Get as much information as you can and make your decisions based on good advice.

Finally, you have to be there for your wife. She will need you every step of the way.

I wish your wife good luck and good health.

[BarenakedLady]

19. I don't have experience

But I'm sorry your wife (and you) are going through this.

:hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

20. I am so sorry *hugs and prayers*

[tandot]

21. Sending positive vibes to you and your wife...

http://www.breastcancer.org/ has a wealth of information.

Wishing you the best :grouphug:

[judaspriestess]

22. Blessings your wife

to you and the rest of your family. I don't have any info to offer sorry, just my best wishes.

[havocmom]

23. Get info for local support groups NOW

Such help was a godsend for my sister, who is quite fine now.

Look into some support group for yourself too, as you will be her main support and you both need to be strong, brave, AND POSITIVE!

Might start a search by contacting closest oncology center. Some nurses are pretty helpful to guide people to the emotional help/peer support too. It helps to be in contact with others who are a bit further down the experience.

Will keep you both in my thoughts.

Know we are all here for you too, but DO look into local resources for peer support. It really was invaluable for my sister's recovery.

[DFW]

24. Been exactly there, gone through exactly that

It happened to my wife at age 49--that's not 34, but it's
still young enough to freak you out.

Same deal--"we don't think it's dangerous, but we'll do some
preliminary surgery" (January). Then--"well there were some
pre-cancerous lesions so you should get more extensive surgery,
but there is no rush." So--scheduled for May. Suddenly--oops,
she is still in surgery after 5 hours.

?????????????????

I find the surgeon afterwards and ask her what's up? She tells me to
get up to my wife's room, and she'll join us there. That's NEVER good.
My wife is now awake, if somewhat groggy. The surgeon tells us that
my wife had full-blown cancer and that lymph nodes were affected and
had to be removed on one side, and they had to cut her up pretty
drastically. As she has no fat on her that could have been used for
a reconstruction (so much for keeping a healthy figure), they could
only do a drastic reduction. Not quite a full mastectomy, but de
facto close to one.

Not only that, but after she was well enough to walk out of there,
(they kept her in the hospital for over 3 weeks), she then started
a round of brutal chemo. It was brutal for two reasons. Usually chemo
is done before a big operation to reduce any stuff to be removed, but
in my wife's case, they didn't expect to find what they did, and had
already cut all over the place and freed all sorts of potentially evil
stuff into her system. Also, fat apparently mitigates a lot of the ill
side effects of the chemo, and she had none. She is 5'10" and weighed
128 pounds (US) before the operation (still does).

After the chemo was done (4 all day sessions, three weeks apart), she then
had radiation, 5 days a week for six weeks. A woman friend told us to sprinkle
baby powder on the area right after radiation, even if it sounded like a folk
remedy. She did, and she shows no radiation scarring at all. Who knows if the
baby powder really helped, but baby powder has no side effects, so who cares?

She also had something you don't have in the States, which helped enormously:
here in Germany, after completing chemo and radiation, you can go to one of
the many cancer rehab clinics around the country. They all specialize in rehab
treatment for certain kinds of cancer. Her clinic was in the Black Forest,
and specialized in breast and thyroid cancer, so most of the patients were
women. It includes full room and board for a month, and spouses are allowed
to visit for free for the last week. In Germany, this is considered an integral
part of the cancer treatment, and so is covered by medical insurance, even
including the cost of the train down to the clinic. I know of no such program
in the States, but there might be one, and if so, I suggest you look into it,
if you can talk your insurance into it. My wife said it really helped her out,
and to get over the agony of the treatment. She returned to work about four weeks
after the rehab ended, and is still at it full time, even though she is not
required to.

Two things to consider: if you are supportive, it is a third of the battle. Also,
we have heard that chemo treatments have gotten more sophisticated, so the patient
might not suffer as much as my wife did six years ago. But, most important, no
matter what she might go through, if she knows you are there for her no matter
what, it is the one treatment that will bring her over the top to survive, no
matter what other kind of drastic treatment she might have to undergo.

[flvegan]

25. No info, only positive vibes for your wife and family, OMC.

I'm sorry to hear this.

[ulysses]

26. I'm very sorry to hear it.

As Pithlet mentioned, I hope you'll join us in the cancer group.

Strength to you and your wife.

[Liberal Jesus Freak]

27. n/t

just :hug: and lots of prayers and good wishes.

[libnnc]

28. OMC, I'm so sorry to hear that

I had my first mammogram earlier this week...interesting experience...according to the image, supposedly, I have harmless little cysts but I have had two benign lumps removed over the last 20 years. I'm 36. Sometimes I wonder if these docs know anything or if it's all just one big guessing game. It scares the shit outta me.

Stay strong :hug:

[flamingyouth]

29. I'm really sorry to hear this.

There are a lot of breast cancer survivors on DU. Please come visit the Cancer Support Group here; it's a great place to ask questions like this and just get support and advice.

I'm keeping your wife and family in my thoughts. This is a very frightening thing to face, I know. I'm a two-time cancer survivor and am also in my 30s. Take good care. :hug:

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

31. Thanks For The Advice. I Just Posted There.

I wanted to see if anyone had any advice for the questions we should ask tomorrow morning for the follow up visit with her Dr/Surgeon.

A huge thank you to all who have offered support and advice in this thread.

[pitohui]

30. no personal experience but a friend's positive experience of this in her early 30s

this happened in the early 90s, the friend is not only in remission today, but was able to get married and have a healthy child post-breast cancer

i realize your wife's concerns are not the same as a single woman's, but it is still good to know that young women do survive breast cancer and that, if she chooses and the doctor works with her, often her fertility can be protected also

:hug:

[mitchum]

32. I'm so sorry to hear that, OMC

I am thinking good thoughts for you and your family

[Kali]

33. oh god, I'm sorry to read this OMC

I have had three people in my life fight breast cancer. One lost, my mother. But two are doing fine and I think attitude plays a significant part in that. Best wishes for you and she.

[laylah]

34. I am so sorry to hear this.

:hug: Fortunately, I have no personal information to share but my thoughts and good wishes are with you both.

Jenn

[Zavulon]

35. Jesus Christ, I'm sorry to hear this, OPERATIONMINDCRIME.

I know nothing about the subject and can't be of any help to you, but I do want to extend my best wishes and crossed fingers.

I wish I had something helpful or useful to say, but I don't. I can only wish you the best, and do so wholeheartedly.

Rick

[JohnnyLib2]

36. Same diagnosis--mastectomy--22 years later and lookin' good.

My wife, that is. We are sorry to hear that you both have this to deal with, but can sure offer encouragement. That far back, she had surgery, then radiation, then chemo (and no hair loss).

Have hope and look at the good side of any statistics you come across.

[AlCzervik]

37. I am really sorry to hear this OMC, my best to your wife and your family.

i wish i had more to offer but i will keep her in my thoughts.

[Kerrytravelers]

38. HI OMC. Check your PM.

:hug:

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

39. Thanks.

[GenDem]

40. So sorry that your wife and you are going through this

I've had my scares with benign fibroid breast tumors, and scary biopsies, but have had positive outcomes. Thoughts, prayers, and well wishes for both of you.
:hug:

[devilgrrl]

41. I'm sorry.

I hope your wife is okay.

[mainegreen]

42. I'm sorry. Good luck to you and your wife.

[Zookeeper]

43. What a shock!

I'm so sorry, Mindcrime!

I'm sure you and your wife will be able to get a lot of information here on DU.

Healing vibes are coming your way from Zookeeper.

:grouphug:

[Gormy Cuss]

45. I'm sorry OMC. I wish for the best outcome for your wife. n/t.

[NaturalHigh]

46. I have no experience with with, OMC...

but I will offer you and your wife my best wishes and prayers.

[dogday]

47. OMC I am sorry that you wife is having to go through this

be strong for her.... I wish you both the best..... :hug:

[nam78_two]

48. So sorry to hear that-I do hope she gets better. Best wishes OMC.nt

[Nicole]

49. Sorry to hear this.

I will keep you & your wife in my prayers.

[AwakeAtLast]

50. Hugs to you and your wife

:hug: :hug:

I don't have any experience with this, but I know a lot of cancer patients change their diets and are successful. I'm sure it is worth looking into.

Let it sink in, then go back with lots of questions and tape record if you need to!

:hug: :hug:

[LiberalHeart]

51. I've had two mastectomies.

The surgeries were no big deal. Both times, my surgeon wanted to keep me in the hospital overnight, but I insisted on going home. The pain I experienced was from the lymph node removal, and even then the strongest med I took was Tylenol 3. I recall, for example, finding it painful to reach out to pull the car door closed. That sort of thing.

I was warned that it is essential to do stretching exercises to get full use of the arm back. I did that as soon as my doc gave me the okay, which was shortly after surgery. Maybe two or three weeks. I joined a health club so I could sit in a hot tub to warm my muscles, then I "crawled" my hand up the wall of the tub room, my fingers moving like a spider walking. Each day I could "crawl" a little farther. Very soon I had full mobility in my arm.

A not-so-pleasant aftermath of the surgery is the drainage tube that is inserted in the chest. It's coiled inside like a snake and pulls liquid out of the surgery area into a grenade-like plastic container that hangs on the outside of the chest. These have to be emptied several times a day. After a while the plastic tubing is removed (just inhale as the doc yanks it out, and it won't hurt -- I promise ... it's over before you have a chance to cringe).

I strongly advise against reconstruction surgery. The method that uses a woman's own fat is, from what I hear, very painful and it requires foreign materials to be put into the body. This can set up problems. I've met many women who suffered a great deal afterward for no better reason than they wanted breasts. I had implants after my mastectomies and it is the worst health decision of my life. I was very ill because of my systemic reaction to the implants. It was like having the flu every day for several years. I had to go through a big battle to get the implants removed, but once I did, my health improved. It can't be predicted who will react adversely to implants and plastic surgeons will tell you there's no problem with them, but I am the voice of experience and can tell you there can be big problems. I also know LOTS of women who suffered as a result of getting them.

I can also warn you that some surgeons will be very hard-sell in their urgings to women that they get reconstructive surgery. Again, the voice of experience.

When I look at my flat chest and scars, I think of them as my cure. It's been 17 years. There's something comforting for women (with a certain mindset) that comes from knowing those areas of potential spread are removed. It could be helpful for her if you reassure her how beautiful her cure looks to you.

A great resource for information is 1-800-4-CANCER. They will provide your wife with as much free info, at as detailed a level, as she cares to receive about state-of-the-art care for her type of cancer.

I wish her -- and you -- the very best outcome.

[LiberalHeart]

52. Forgot to add...

Be sure to get DNA and estrogen studies done on the tumors. This can be valuable information for later treatment. I don't know how things are now, but back when I had my surgeries this was something not all doctors did. I had to request it, and it's info that turned out to be vital.

Also, take heart from this:

My cancer was called "highly aggressive" but since my surgeries, there's been so sign of it and, as I said before, it's now 17 years post-diagnosis.

[dancing kali]

53. I was diagnosed

with ductal in situ cancer a bit over 1.5 yrs ago. 1 lump, 1.5 cm. I was able to have it removed by the lumpectomy (which is actually what used to be called a partial mastectomy) and there was no lymph involvement). I had to do radiation but was able to do a different option in lieu of chemo (an injection every 4 months of a drug called Lupron). From the day the diagnosis was confirmed to the day I went back to work was two months. I worked all through the time I was going in to do radiation.

I'm not sure of what exactly is happening with your wife. Did she have the lumps removed or did she have the core biopsy done? From what you wrote it sounds like she already had the lumpectomy done but now they want to go back in to make sure they had good margins and to take the lymph nodes. Do I have it right? If this is the case... they need to take 3 - 5 lymph nodes to determine whether the cancer has gotten into her lymph system. They also have to do 2 hormone tests (ER & HER2). These determine whether the cancer is estrogen receptive. In my case I was ER positive and HER2 negative... so I was put on Tamoxofen (I know I spelled that wrong) and was immediately slammed into menopause (not a bad thing for me as I was 49 at the time)and the Lupron injections just makes sure that I am not producing any hormones. It takes a week or two to get the hormone tests back so there will be some more waiting. These tests will determine what course of treatment is necessary (recommended).

The lymph node removal left me with some slight numbness in my right arm (I had the lumps removed after having a needle biopsy and had opted to have 5 nodes removed with the surgery. I could have gone for a different option which would have had me having a core biopsy done where they would have only taken 3 nodes but that would have added time to the whole ordeal and I wanted the damned thing out of me - the numbness is the price of that... which I have no problems with.)

Depending on how she is healing from the surgery, she should try to move her arm as much as possible (most women tend to want to protect the breast area and won't use their arm and so will end up losing more range of motion then necessary... I had 80% of my range of motion back within two weeks of my surgery.) Sleeping with a teddy bear (yes, really) tucked under her arm will help keep her from rolling over on that side and is very comforting. I also kept the bear tucked under my armpit while I was sitting upright on the couch or a chair.

When she does the radiation, the thing that will take the longest is parking the car and going into the clinic. They will "tattoo" her (a couple of pin prick dots that the radiologist uses to line up the equipment... they look like a black freckle... some women have them removed after. The treatment takes maybe 30 seconds although with three locations to do the site specific treatment it may take longer. I had to do 16 site specific treatments and 4 whole breast treatments. The result is a tanned area on the affected breast... in addition to the big honking scar from the surgery. Some women find that the radiation therapy makes them tired. I didn't have a problem with it.

(I'm typing this at work and have to occasionally deal with things here. So if this message is a little on the rambling side, I apologize.)

I know a woman at work who did have the total mastectomy. She had to wait 5 years before they did the reconstruction surgery. I don't know if this was her choice or her oncologist. She has been 5 years clean of cancer and is very happy with the reconstruction which she got last fall... and I must say she looks fabulous, but I thought she looked fabulous before the reconstruction surgery it really is just that the surgery made her feel less mutilated. Sorry, but that is the correct word. That is the thing one needs to come to grips with. Frankly, I'm alive and cancer free... the cosmetic details really are meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

I will PM you and send you my e-mail address so that both of you can contact me. I am not a medical professional (but I really did play one when I was still an actor - ok bad humour but you need a few laughs to get you through this) but I can share experience and what little knowledge & wisdom I've gotten out of the experience.

You need to hug your wife as much as you need to. You both need the comfort. You will get through this together.

You will need to be available as much as possible to go to the various medical appointments with her... someone needs to be her ears and brains... because she is only hearing the words right now. If you feel that you can't do it alone, you can have a friend or other relative come in with you... the doctor can't say no. My husband and my best friend went to every appointment with me until I started radiation, then my husband went to the first appointment with me and Sarah kept me company for all the others. I was fortunate that she and my sister-in-law worked in the cancer industry so they knew exactly what to ask and were able to explain everything to my husband and I. If you don't have someone who can do the same for you, contact your local cancer agency and they will put you onto various support groups and agencies.

Good luck to you and your wife.

Dancing Kali

PS - check your PM in a few minutes.

[NC_Nurse]

54. I am so sorry to hear this, OMC.

I have no personal experience to give you. I have seen a lot of women go through the surgeries and chemo, but I don't see the whole picture and every one is different.

All I have is :hug: for both of you. Hang on to each other. Find support, ask questions of your medical providers.

I'll be thinking of you two.

[dancing kali]

55. I can't post to your thread in the groups so...

The oncologist won't do anything until the ER/PR/HER2 neu test results come in. These are the hormone tests I referred to earlier. The initial path reports I got back indicated a fairly aggressive tumour but the results from the hormone tests balanced off some of the aggressiveness. My doctor put me on Xanax to keep me calm during the hurry up and wait period.

Someone posted earlier about doing the stretching exercises as soon as possible. I agree. I had 80% movement within 2 weeks of my surgery because I refused to baby that side. I had full range by the end of a month. Moving the arm as much as possible will help with the edema problem caused by the removal of the lymph nodes. The more nodes removed the likelier it will be that there will be some edema (water retention & swelling). She also had some really good points about the reconstruction surgery. In my case, I am now smaller and perkier on one side... I don't have any intentions to do any reconstruction since it's not a big deal for me.

You might want to remind your wife that you married her not her breasts... while they may be very nice they aren't important to your affections for her... trust me, I needed to hear it said even though I already knew that. I also told my surgeon that if one breast had to go then I wanted both done. I really didn't want to go through the whole thing a second time. Looking in the mirror was hard for me for a couple of months. Now I don't notice the scar.

The hair loss comes from the chemo therapy not radiation (the radiation won't cause the hair loss unless the head is the targeted area). The hair will grow back. I know that chemo is unpleasant (to say the least) and it will be a long hard haul but I (fortunately for me) didn't have to go through it.

The oncologist may decide that she will have to do chemo first and then radiation. Sometimes it can be the other way around. I am on Tamoxofen for the foreseeable future. If I have a hysterectomy I would be taken off the Tamoxofen and the Lupron and put on the (and I know that I'm going to get the spelling wrong on this) aronatase inhibitors which is effective in post-menopausal women. Get the doctor to explain the options with you and the side effects of Tamoxofen. There is an increased risk of uterine cancer from taking Tamoxofen. If such things run in the family, then I would seriously consider the hysterectomy. My oncologist thinks that I was close enough to natural menopause that I won't be on Tamoxofen for very much longer... although I'm still not sure how he will be able to tell.

There is a cream available in the US called Mederma. My sister-in-law sent me a tube. It helps keep down the scarring.

When going through radiation, she will want a good, water based, moisturizing lotion... one that absorbs quickly and doesn't leave any surface residue. I had to read a lot of labels before I found one that I could use. If you can afford it, Aveda does have one that worked for me. Avoid wearing any fragrance when going to the cancer clinic... aside from folks who are allergic, chemo & radiation patients can be sensitive to fragrances. Radiation will probably be every day for some period of time (I was going every weekday for just over a month - there were others who were in for longer courses of therapy).

I do still have some residual pain from the lymph node area and the scar.

Oh yes... stay off the internet searches into breast cancer... there is way too much information out there and not all of it is good. A good portion of it is really scary not to mention being overwhelming and too much for either of you to handle right now.

The words "you have cancer" were the worst thing I ever heard spoken to me. It really put my life back into perspective. I think it was worse for my husband... I could face pending mortality in myself but he had to face it in me. It's okay for you to be scared and to cry if you need to. You can't be strong 24/7.

Take care,

Dancing Kali

[flamingyouth]

56. Wow, I could not agree more with your last paragraph.

Everything you said was true for me as well. I feel that my diagnoses were in many ways way more difficult for my partner and my parents than for me. And yeah, most of the time I can be strong but sometimes I've been known to crack a little too.

You take care. :hug:

[OzarkDem]

57. I'm a survivor

So sorry to hear about this, but tell her it will be ok. Its hard not to panic, but the docs will know what to recommend and she'll get through it.

It sounds as though a mastectomy is likely. Its also possible she may need chemotherapy, not just because of the number of malignant lumps, but also because of her age. Radiation therapy may also be recommended.

You'll learn a lot more about how to proceed after she gets her pathology report. Also make sure they check her other breast carefully w/ mammography and/or ultrasound. She also may have to undergo some other tests.

Mastectomy is painful right after the surgery, but heals up fairly quickly. She may not be out of work very long, hopefully her employer is easy to work with and will allow her a couple of weeks off if needed.

Some good resources are:

National Cancer Institute

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/breast

Susan Love, MD (Dr. Love also has a good book on breast cancer)

http://www.susanlovemd.com/breastcancer/content.asp?L2=3&SID=153

You can PM me if you have more questions, I'm happy to help. Its a very frightening time for both of you, but you'll get through it.

[helderheid]

59. I am so so sorry. My grandmother had a mastectomy and my mother a double - I have lumps being

monitored. I CAN say the options now for reconstruction and prosthetics are amazing. Just be glad you've been vigilant about this. You have support here.

:hug: OMC!

[SarahB]

60. I'm sorry you both have to go through this.

I won't through any more medical stuff because it's been covered well. I just wish you both strength and courage in her treatment and recovery. :hug: