You're on a Island with Ann Coulter and 2 domestic turkeys

[Loonman]

You also have a pistol with 2 bullets, and there is a pineapple and a coconut tree on the island.


What do you do?

[DS1]

1. I'm not an angry person, I'm practical

Beat Ann to death with the pistol, strip the bullets and use the gunpowder to light fires. Run around clinking coconuts together doing my stuck-on-an-island happy dance.

[underpants]

12. thud thud gobble! thud thud

That is the sound of clicking the turkeys together whilest doing your "stuck-on-an-island happy dance".

[DS1]

21. You should see the Mauri War Dance version

When I've got a chicken in each hand :evilgrin:

[RobertSeattle]

2. Could also rub Ann's arms together to make fire.

Sticks...

[Wonco_the_Sane]

3. I think Ann is hot!

Then again, I've always liked girls that were bad for me. LOL

[11 Bravo]

4. While never having actually fucked a razor blade,

I assume that's what doing Coulter would be like.

[FunBobbyMucha]

15. Thank you for making the most painful metaphor I've ever read.

I reflexively grabbed my weiner when you said that.

[liberalhistorian]

20. ROFLMAO!

I'm a woman, but even I flinched at that, so I can imagine how you guys felt!

[brainwashed_youth]

5. ann's a man

check it dude. just take one look at the Adam's apple. Coulter's a dude!!

[snippy]

6. Dude, you should get that looked at.

[asjr]

7. How can you tell

which is the turkey?

[zbdent]

8. Never turn my backside to "her"?

.

[philosophie_en_rose]

9. Kill Coulter. Feed her to turkeys.

Eat the pineapple slowly and plant the top (assuming I'd be there for a while).

Do turkeys lay eggs as regularly as chickens? If so, I'd eat the eggs.

I'd probably kill Coulter eventually (self-defense, you think she wouldn't try to kill me?), but I'd feed her carcass to the turkeys. I couldn't let the poor turkeys starve. :)

[underpants]

10. Eat all of them

:bounce:

[DS1]

13. If you define eating as picking your teeth

then have at it.

For some reason Coulter + Turkeys reminds me of Mechanically Stripped Chicken

[underpants]

14. Many definitions for eating

:bounce:

Maybe you could use Ann as a kebob stick and roast the turkeys on a spit.

[DS1]

22. no way, she'd actually absorb the fats and taste

:puke:

[underpants]

11. Eat all of them

:bounce:

[Parrcrow]

16. can't let the turkeys eat Ann...

They'd get Mad Hag disease.

Otherwise, chop down the trees and with the coconuts build a raft.
Take the pineapples for food and the turkeys for more intelligent conversation.
Float away.
Leave ann with the gun, two bullets and one option.

[commander bunnypants]

17. Use two bulets to make sure Anthraxx Ann is dead

make pets of the turkeys and become a vegetarian


DDQM

[LynneSin]

18. You can always bludgeon the turkeys to death

:shrug:

[bearfan454]

19. No bouncing with her.

:bounce:

[SOteric]

23. Determine if the turkeys are a mating pair,

If so, you could have multitudes of baby turkeys in a short time. Remove Anne Coulter from competing in the food chain. Wander down to the beach and collect a pile of seafood; fish, mollusks, crabs, edible seaweeds, etc...

Try to figure out what, if anything, the turkeys will eat in the way of local greens and seafoods.