10 drinks men should never order

[The Straight Story]

Anything blended, unless you are on the beach...

Whole list/slide show here:

http://www.local6.com/slideshow/spotlight/13648473/detail.html

I have no idea....

[LeftyFingerPop]

1. I would drink those...

:blush: :hi:

[Mr. Blonde]

2. A bunch of no brainers there

What man doesn't know not to order something neon colored drink?

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

27. There was one rather confusing one.

The one about not order hard liquor "neat". That one baffles me. Seems about as manly as it gets to forgo the ice.

[Deep13]

59. I always order Scotch neat.

:shrug:

[begin_within]

3. So no margaritas?

:thumbsdown:

[Nevernose]

7. Men can have them on the rocks

But not blended.Didn't you get your copy of the "looking manly before puking in an empty glass" brochure?

[begin_within]

9. I did but I wiped my

oh never mind. I'm drinking a blended margarita if I damn well want to. A MELON margarita. With salt on the rim. And a straw if I want to.

[Nevernose]

17. Which is doable, depending upon the conversation:

"Yeah, generally I prefer watching featherwieghts to watching welterweights. They're faster, and it's more violent. More blood. Speaking of which ... Hey, bartender, can I get another lime slice in my margarita. And an umbrella? Jesus fucking Christ, the SERVICE around here, I swear!"

[begin_within]

20. So you heard me at La Palapa de Jose in Alisitos Beach, Mexico on July 4th?

[begin_within]

21. You got me pegged

[MissMillie]

26. why bother w/ salt on the rim

if you're going to use a straw?

:shrug:

[begin_within]

41. The salt is the best part!

The straw is for later when it's almost empty.

[cobalt1999]

32. When I was 13 my uncle saw me drinking from a straw...

He said (I'm quoting his exact words here) "Nephew, only women and faggots drink from straws". Huge impact on the mind of a 13 year old boy. I don't think I touched a straw for 5 years.

I got the same attitude, I'll do what I want and to hell with what people think.

[begin_within]

42. How do you drink a milkshake?

[cobalt1999]

44. Way back then, I used a spoon.

Seems embarrassing now to admit that one little comment would change my behavior (even if it was 30 years ago), but teenage boys aren't the most logical thinkers.

Still, I bet after reading this article, there is probably some teenager out there who is changing their behavior too.

[Initech]

61. As long as they're on the rocks and the size of a wading pool...

Then I would give it: :thumbsup:

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. I consider those drinks that anyone with self-respect wouldn't order

Not just men, but any human being.

[muriel_volestrangler]

25. You've got that right

(though they're wrong about straight spirits - straight rum, or brandies, are no sign of a 'problem drinker' - if they're good quality, they're worth drinking on their own. Perhaps I could be persuaded about vodkas too, but to me they all seem too similar).

Colour isn't an ingredient in drinks, but for too many mixed drinks it's considered important. Most of the mixers with colour are low quality jokes.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

30. Amen.

If you don't want to drink alcohol, don't drink it.

[AggieGal]

5. The fruit bowl, I mean the obsecenly garnished drink

Looks kinda good. I want one of those.

[petronius]

11. Yeah, but I think they should have peeled the kiwis,

that skin can be chewy...

[JackBeck]

6. What a stupid piece of "journalism".

The first drink I ever learned to make was a cosmopolitan. Yet another article where gay men don't fall into the category of "men". Stupid piece of tripe.

[The Straight Story]

8. Ya know - I agree with ya

I have ordered several of those drinks myself - cause I like em.

Like I said in the OP - I have no idea...

[JackBeck]

10. Totally saw that.

Still a stupid article on how we should base manliness on the drinks we order. Thanks for posting it. Reminds me of how I can find better things to talk about outside of the MSM.

[The Straight Story]

13. Damn sad thing - is there will be men who take the advice

For fuck's sake, how stupid can people be????

I never even thought about it until I saw that on a site I read daily.

I define myself by what I do for others, like for my wife. I don't need some punk ass reporter to define my life for me and what I should be like. Which is another reason some of these makeover and fashion shows piss me off.

To me being truly shallow is to let image drive who you are, instead of your heart.

[The Straight Story]

14. PS

I thought these people were cool, and never cared what they drank or looked like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EWw-gsx_Io

:)

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

28. Are you saying it's a "gay thing" to drink a cosmopolitan?

So far as I'm concerned, there's no reason this list shouldn't be followed by anyone - male, female, gay, straight, etc. - that can handle their booze.

[JackBeck]

39. It was an extremely popular drink at the gay bar I worked at.

Compared to the sports bars I'd go to with my straight friends. All thanks to Sex & The City, a show more popular among gay men than straight.

[Goblinmonger]

37. Here's the problem I have with the cosmo.

It's a fine drink and guys should order it if they like. I personally just like vodka and cranberry juice. Sometimes when I order that the bartender says "Oh, a cosmo?" I don't want the sweet stuff in it; I just don't like it. I know it's petty, but the popularity of the cosmo has made my ordering of a simple vodka and cranberry juice very difficult.

OK, I'm better now.

[JackBeck]

40. I got tired of making them. As well as appletini's and flirtinis.

But I had my "thing": I was able to pour right to the very tip of the martini glass, which I'd then invite the patron to bend down and give their drink a kiss first. Cheesy, I know.

[crispini]

64. Order a cape cod!

Just Vodka and cranberry juice. :D

[badgerpup]

69. Vodka and cranberry juice is a 'cosmopolitan'?

Where I come from we always called it a "Cape Codder". :shrug:
Rather an astringent beverage, really...something you have to be in the mood for.

[Jed Dilligan]

12. I don't like super-sweet drinks, but not because

they reflect badly on my masculinity--they make my stomach turn.

That cosmo looked good though, and yet.... I like boobs.

And what's this about everyone who drinks straight booze being a problem drinker? Alcoholics usually mix their drinks because their stomachs can't take it straight. To me, drinking straight liquor is the sign of someone who actually enjoys liquor, and may not even be on a mission to get hammered.

[The Straight Story]

15. I prefer straight Rum or mixed with Diet Mt. Dew

But I sure as hell love some of them mixed drinks.

I still remember explaining to people at work, when we went to a brewery, why I ordered a half glass of beer with the other half rum. The rum smooths out the beer, and the beer adds a good flavor to the rum. BeeRum I called it. They all tasted it and agreed.

It never crossed my mind that it made me more or less of a man...

[supernova]

34. See my post at the bottom.

[deucemagnet]

16. Damn! The bastards at YouTube removed the KITH "Girl Drink Drunk"

sketch! :grr: Here's a link to the transcript, but it just isn't the same. http://www.kithfan.org/work/transcripts/three/girldrnk.html

[Drum]

19. Haha, 1st thing I thought of when I saw this post.

Damn funny sketch! Sorry you canna find it, but I appreciate you making me laugh in remembering it. (The KITH were a riot!)

:hi:

[mikeytherat]

23. Found it on Google - check below!

That sketch is the first thing I thought of!

mikey_the_rat

[Evoman]

18. I'll drink whatever the hell I want.

And if anybody has a problem with that, they can deal with my piercing palm strike.

[Rude Horner]

54. You and me both

I have had idiots make comments if I order anything but a beer, like if I don't have beer I'm a pansy. Fuck that. I'll drink what I want. Personally, I don't care for beer. So fuck 'em.

[mikeytherat]

22. Kids in the Hall - "Girl Drink Drunk." You MUST see this!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3322023547877728768&q=girl+drink+drunk&total=770&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=1

mikey_the_rat

[AwakeAtLast]

43. That's exactly what I was thinking of while reading this post!

:rofl:

I miss KITH!

:rofl:

[T_i_B]

24. Add Bacardi Breezers & Smirnoff Ice to that list!

Currently the hot topic of debate round here is how effeminate fruit and herbal teas are compared to regular tea or coffee. Personally, I have much less problem with them then I do alcopops.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

31. They're in the "malt beverage but not a 40" category. (nt)

[cobalt1999]

29. speaking as a former bartender...

Bartenders HATE to make frozen or blended drinks if it's busy. Order enough of them when the bar is rocking, you'll start to see your bartenders eyes narrow and his smile become forced.

I haven't bartended in over 20 years, but I still don't order frozen drinks.

[Hippo_Tron]

73. I can sympathize, but frozen drinks taste really good

[supernova]

33. If I drink hard liquor, I order it neat

Whiskies, brandies, Burbons I think are better neat. I'm like MissMillie. If it's a really good brand, it's worth it to drink it without all the fuss and get the fullon experience. Plus the calories are no were near a mixed drink. That way, I only have an ounce or two.

All those mixed drinks are awful. My SiL makes me gag sometimes because she just raves, and I mean RAVES about Brandy Alexanders. :puke: What a terrible thing to do to brandy.

edit: I will confess that sometimes, when I'm in just the right mood. I like Lemon Drops. So there.

[GirlinContempt]

35. The garnish thing would mean basically no sangria in a public place.

My boys would be up in arms.

[JVS]

65. Sangria LOL!

That's one of those drinks that is only allowed when on vacation or at a theme place.

[GirlinContempt]

68. Sangria is fucking rock

Wine, and other booze, and fruit.

[JackDragna]

36. God forbid people should think we're "frequent drinkers"...

...in a BAR. Jesus Christ. Have we really become so puritannical that every person who drinks frequently is an alcoholic?

[ellisonz]

67. Yes.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

38. masculinity is so fragile for a concept that is meant to denote strength.

:rofl:

[One_Life_To_Give]

45. No Shots with Whipped Cream? Oh my!

There is a time and place for most everything. Sometimes ordering a shot which must be drunk without using your hands and must be completly swallowed is appropriate.

[SacredCow]

46. For the most part....

those are drinks that NOBODY should order.

Except for the neat Scotch- 18 year MacAllan for me!

[jgraz]

47. He forgot: anything in a snifter

And what's up with the anti-"neat" stuff? If you're a fan of bourbon and/or rye, there's really no other way to drink the good stuff.

[LaraMN]

48. I, however, would drink any of them!

I wouldn't berate a guy for drinking them, though. Yums!

[Beer Snob-50]

52. laramn,

you are a lush anyway from what i have heard.

}(

[LaraMN]

55. I'm SO not!

I don't drink that often; I just do a thorough job of it when I do!

:bounce:

[texas1928]

49. If I want to drink them, I will drink them...

And if anyone wants to say I am less of a man because of it, they better be prepared, I will stomp a wetspot on their ass and walk it dry.

[SteppingRazor]

50. I refuse to order anything that ends in "tini" but doesn't begin with "mar" n/t

[Idioteque]

51. One correction: A vodka "martini" is not a fucking martini! n/t

[Deep13]

58. No, it's a "vodka Martini."

A "Martini" a.k.a. "dry Martini" has gin.

[JVS]

63. Anyone who would order such an abomination doesn't deserve to drink

Come back to the bar when you're virtuous enough to handle gin!

[jobycom]

53. Men should never obey cultural gender conformity rules. Women, either.

If I want to drive a lavender Miata, wear a ponytail, and listen to Celine Dion, I will! Not that I do... Except the pony tail. And I carry a purse...

[Hippo_Tron]

74. Damn straight

[More Than A Feeling]

56. All of those except the scotch looked delicious.

Seriously people, what is "unmanly" about wanting your alcohol to actually TASTE GOOD?

[badgerpup]

72. Here's a manly drink...

Atholl brose. :beer: :toast:

Ingredients:
3 rounded tablespoons of medium oatmeal
2 tablespoons heather honey
Scotch whisky

Method:
The oatmeal is prepared by putting it into a basin and mixing with cold water until the consistency is that of a thick paste. Leave for half an hour and then put through a fine strainer, pressing with a wooden spoon to extract as much liquid as possible. Throw away the oatmeal and use the creamy liquor from the oatmeal for the brose.

Mix four dessert spoonfuls of pure honey and four sherry glassfuls of the prepared oatmeal and stir well. (Purists insist on a silver spoon for stirring!) Put into a quart bottle and fill with malt whisky; shake before serving.

http://www.rampantscotland.com/recipes/blrecipe_brose.htm

I'm told "If the mixture is too thick, thin it with Scotch" ;)
You can make it with whiskey, but then it's called a "Sassenagh".

I wouldn't advise ordering it in a bar...at least not without being really good friends with the bartender and giving him or her a few hours heads-up. :yoiks:

[Deep13]

57. One thing real men should never do:

Modify their behavior or tastes based on a media "expert."

'Scuse me while I go fix myself a Shirly Temple.

[Roon]

60. A naughty shirley temple for me please!!

http://www.barmeister.com/drinks/recipe/1061/

[Initech]

62. I don't think I would drink any of those...

I'll take a dry martini or a JD on the rocks any day of the week.

[tandot]

66. My sweety is secure in his manhood. He drinks -tinis, malt beverages, and white zin

I, on the other hand, don't drink any of the stuff they mentioned.

His brothers and friends crack up when they do shots together. He fills his shot glass with stuff like Pomegranate liquor or Bailey's Irish Cream.

[jpgray]

70. Because real men are constantly afraid of being declassified as such based on superficialities

:rofl:

[Hippo_Tron]

71. Screw that, I'll drink whatever I want, thank-you very much

Some of those drinks are very tasty.

[pokerfan]

75. I drink what I want, thank you very much

But in a crowded bar with a harried waitstaff and bartender, I tend to keep it simple.

I'm not a fan of blended drinks anyway as they tend to give me brainfreeze.

So margaritas on the rocks, G&T's and ice cold beer when it's hot out. Good whiskey, brandy or tequilla in a snifter when it's not so much.

Cranberry juice on the rocks when it's time to stop drinking.