My mom used to enjoy shocking my senses with grotesque stories. (warning: contains shocking stories)

[Writer]

I keep reading today's odd headlines and can't help but think of MOTHER. Motherrrrrrr! sings The Police.

But all Freudian baggage aside, my mother loved to rile my (and others') emotions by describing, in extreme detail, a terrible murder or accident. She spared no detail, despite my age, smirking when I flinched or covered my mouth. It was just another means to control from a woman with NPD.

Especially if it were to happen to someone in my family. Like my cousin, for instance, who died after falling from a tree he was trimming for a company. I not only knew, at 11, that he died from this terrible fall, but that his aorta separated from heart and that he bled to death internally.

Even worse was my family's funeral for my grandmother, who passed in 1990 at eighty years-old. My grandfather, who I never knew, passed in 1976 (I was only one at the time). They were to be housed together in the same unit at the mausoleum. However, my mother, her brother and sister, insisted on seeing the decayed bones of my grandfather. Why? I haven't a clue. The best reason I've been able to gather to this day was that they were merely curious. It alarmed the caretakers of the mausoleum enough that they made everyone who wished to observe them sign release statements. I was fifteen at the time and refused to take part in it, so my oldest sister and I waited in another section of the mausoleum while this was performed.

Or, at the age of nine, my mother thought it would be cute (and appropriate) to show me a copy of Penthouse. This was the famous 1984 Penthouse featuring Vanessa Williams that cost her the Miss America crown. I remember giggling over the images of women sucking each other's nipples and performing cunnilingus on each other. It was a "great" mother and daughter moment.

My mother is a diseased individual, but she is only a clinical manifestation of a larger problem I see in American culture, especially now that media are digitized and decentralized. The most disturbing, albeit very rare incidences become embellished into larger than life scenarios. We watch and re-watch in horror, like picking a scab, unable to absorb enough dysfunction, ingesting it like a narcotic.

These are just thoughts based on the stories I read today. Just thoughts and nothing more.

~Writer~

[Fire Walk With Me]

1. Some women fear becoming their mother...

And now the stories that haunt you have become ours as well ;-)

[Writer]

2. Yeah, that's true...

I did consider that when posting. But I assure you, I don't do it out of the same malice my mother did. I also did it in order to share just how f'd up she was (is.)

[Fire Walk With Me]

4. Sorry to hear that; you seem to have turned out to be okay.

And as the man said, shared pain is lessened, shared joy is increased.

You don't mind that I didn't actually read all of the stories, right?

[Writer]

6. Thanks. I try my best.

:)

And no, I certainly don't mind that you stopped reading.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

3. That's like that uncle that blew off his fingers with fireworks.

It took me years of being an adult before I realized I didn't have any uncles with missing fingers.

[Writer]

8. LOL

At least it wasn't a true story. :)

[SarahB]

5. Geesh!

And I felt traumatized for being taken to inappropriate movies ("Foul Play" at age 5, "Being There" at age 8 for example) and being allowed to watch The Love Boat every Saturday night. Wow!

[Writer]

7. My parents took me to see Poltergeist at age 7.

I was crying so hard by the middle of the movie that she took me out.

I understand about the inappropriate movie thing. :)

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

9. I think that's a great horror movie for kids.

Scary as hell, but not over the top with gore, sex, etc.

:shrug:

[Writer]

10. Yeah... that scene where the guy eats the chicken leg...

those were good times. Good times. :eyes:

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

11. Or when Darth Vader chops off Luke Skywalkers hand...

Or when Jaws eats the salty old sea captain...

:shrug:

[Writer]

12. Are you saying that I shouldn't, at seven, been bothered by Poltergeist?

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

13. I think it's perfectly fine to be bothered by horror movies.

That's the whole point.

Do I think that you should be mad at your mom for taking you to see it when you were seven? No.

[Writer]

14. Oh... I suppose it was completely acceptable for my mom to do that.

You know, because when I started crying in the middle of the theater, I was all wrong for feeling that way. When she took me to the bathroom to clean me up, it was a waste of her time.

Right. It was perfectly fine for her (and you) to ignore all that. I was just a-okay.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

15. Pretty much.

:shrug:

[Writer]

16. Pretty much - what?

Come on... spell it out.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

17. I thought I already did.

I don't think your mom did anything wrong taking you to Poltergeist.

[Writer]

18. What... think she should have let me continue crying in the theater?

Because she was doing a perfectly acceptable thing? You know, enjoy her movie in spite of how it effects her kid?

C'mon... let everyone know just how insensitive you really are...

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

19. No, she did exactly what she was supposed to do.

When parents take kids to movies, they're supposed to take them out in the lobby when they start getting scared, start crying ,etc. Your mom sounds perfectly responsible.

Are you just digging for excuses to be mad at your mother?

[Writer]

20. What - do you think you smell a victim here?

You must. My mom did all that she did, as I described above, because she has a psychological disorder. Think I didn't overcome this person? Here I am now.

Come on... keep up the insensitivity. The complete lack of perspective. Your deep need to feed off of someone else's discontent. Keep it up.

BTW: You're not worth any more of my time. That's why I have you on ignore now. Have a nice life.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

23. ...

"My mom did all that she did, as I described above, because she has a psychological disorder."

She took you to a family friendly horror movie because she has a psychological disorder? How do you know she didn't just take you out to the movies for entertainment?

"Think I didn't overcome this person? Here I am now."

Here you are now, complaining about how traumatized you are from seeing a scary movie when you were seven.

:shrug:

[stuntcat]

21. LOLOLOLOLOLOL

:rofl:


Considering what I read up there you've turned out great!

[Writer]

22. Eh. Shit happens.

And so do chicken legs.

Thanks, though.

:)

[pitohui]

24. what's NPD?

i wish my mom was like that, in our family nothing was ever spoken of, you had to read everything between the lines

the grass always be greener

okay having read the whole thread i can see this really bothers you, so PLEASE don't beat me too much about the head and shoulders for my tactlessness (my mom yells at my lack of tact too)

my question is not sarcastic, i am curious as to what disorder would make a mom be MORE open and honest to her children about the world's cruelty, and i can see how it would be hard, i'm just being snoopy i guess -- it's interesting to see how things go full circle

our family just had a completely different set of sins, when i cried over the coyote getting hurt on the road runner cartoons, mom turned the teevee off, but i could tell other horror tales if i wasn't too lazy at the moment (such as when i had scarlet fever she gives me a book to read about helen keller!)

to me it's interesting to see the differences

you are strong, and you are going to be okay, and this is going to be material, right?

there is a book by william goldman "the color of light" about the development of a writer, you might get a kick out of it, or at least i did

[Writer]

25. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. n/t

[pitohui]

26. wow thanks that was quick! EOM

.

[Writer]

28. Good question. For some parents, it's about teaching.

For my mom it was about control. Narcissists will make harmful comments in order to control another person (I think the term is "narcissistic supply"). The idea is to disturb or hurt a person, completely unempathetic to that person's emotions, as a means for that person to establish a kind of dominance over another person. It's sadistic emotional abuse, in other words.

And oh heck yes is this good material for the future. Without a doubt.

[pitohui]

30. it is possible my mom's mom was one such

i am a high functioning autistic and i think to me it was frustrating that my mom did not just spell things out very very explicitly because there were so many things i just did not "get" -- in younger years especially i was very very literal and it was such a struggle

her mom and one of her aunts were self-involved beyond belief and now i wonder how much this might have affected my own mom and her thrashings about trying to pass for normal

idea is to disturb or hurt a person, completely unempathetic to that person's emotions, as a means for that person to establish a kind of dominance over another person. It's sadistic emotional abuse, in other words.

you've heard it before but what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger, i just have a good feeling about your future

[Writer]

32. Thanks, man. I appreciate that.

Today's disturbing news stories (the odd ones) sort of brought this out.

On edit: My two sisters are much like what you described about your aunt, etc. Very, very self-involved people.

[Guava Jelly]

27. ..

I just read this..:hug:
And i am sorry..
Don't let the past define your future..
we will talk about this later...:pals:

[Writer]

31. If I ever let my past define my future I wouldn't be where I am today.

Thanks... and I can't wait to chat. :hug:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

29. ...

:hug:

[Writer]

33. My sweet smokestack.

:hug: